Leap of Faith

1. Shattered Window Panes

In the dream I work full time, it is summer holiday, but I only have vacation at the end of it, somewhere in august. Then I will be two weeks at home, but it is still a long way from now and other people already enjoy their vacation. Bright atmosphere.

Children.

Later I am at my parents' place, on the terrace, lots of other people there. Something about school, that is primary school, maybe the classrooms, that is where I was first, a place that reminded me of De Kraal.

At some point in that location I was drinking from a public fountain, the water was in an earthenlike bowl on top of a pedestal maybe. The bowl was ochre or orange coloured. Clay. I drink from it. This is in the hallway, not the classrooms itself. In a corner. Rinse or cleanse?

At some point somewhere in the dream there was a discussion or conversation about ghosts or spirits and where you can see them. After a while it is clear that everybody in the room is familiar with seeing spirits, I had not expected that, none of them has ever talked about it.

There is a second discussion afterwards, about a mathematical formula. When I see it written, probably on the blackboard, I speak it out loud, because the symbols speak for themselves. All the others can't read it, that is why they hurriedly take notes. The last part of the formula is difficult, but it is in the English standard, and there is a T with a 6 and I know it stands for 10 power of 6, or something. Yellow or orange writing.

Then the part at my parents' place. My father especially. Children. Good weather. Playing outside. Brother N asks me something about the futon that is in the veranda, he wants to use it. He asks me where the DNA of a futon is located. I think about the creases where sand gathers in these things, but apart from that I can't imagine these things having DNA at all.

End of the dream is when we are carrying glass and it breaks. Glass window panes, I go get them, together with my father. They fall, or slip from the hands and shatter. And again. Now we are more in the neighbourhood of the garage. I try to help clean the glass shards from the floor. I have a special glass duster for that which is really mini, and thin as the edge of a blade, but it somehow works, if I am careful. There were several panes. Many of them ended up sticking vertical in the ground, or terrace, up, with a shattered edge.

2. Three Undead And Milking African Mothers

 Place that looks like a playground. High buildings fence off. Something about films, someone says something about Jurassic Parc, I say I haven't seen the film yet. This is when we say goodbye. I give a goodbye kiss, but the first one I give a kiss is a guy, it comes natural.

Bale is here.

Something about a small space.

Then a big square, and on the right, where I am not, there is a plaque on a big door that says may email name, which refers to dreaming. Someone put it there as slander, but I don't care, because I don't give it attention, and because I never go in that direction. Square reminds me of St Jacobs in Leuven. So we are on the other side. Other people advise me to take it off, this plaque. The threat that seems is meaningless.

According to the dream, a whole text was associated with this nameplate, big like A4, but it is not there, so no threat at all. Before, I also put this out, but in a place that was appropriate. So somebody seems to wish me ill. This is also discovered when someone tells me someone has secretly deposited 20 euros on my account, which means I will have to take it off, so I am not touched by this person. But there is an inherent threat that the person will deposit 20 euros every day, till the situation is solved. What the situation is I don't know. People keep warning me and are concerned. I care not. They say I should not stick out. (I suppose this is about facebook, interpretation).

Something else, about exams?

Later still, inside a house, dark, one room, ground level, I am there with Bale, and three other people I have seen earlier in the dream and I know I can trust. Now they reveal their true nature, they are all zombies or vampires. Three men, very strong, supernatural strength. They want to help me. There is one who is more intelligent, and he leads the pack. They are all three different creatures in fact. I am okay with it, but once we are alone in the room, they come closer, and become dangerous.

They feel like the presence of spirits, but only vaguely.

In the centre of the room is a table. After a short while they attack Bale. I am never the target. One of them attacks Bale, and the boss is there immediately after to defend Bale, protect her. So the three of them fall against the wall in the corner. The attacker had a piece of broken glass in his hand, but in the commotion, suddenly, it now has slit his own throat. So Bale is safe, and the offender has been stabbed, wounded. Bale tries to hurt the offender more, and tries to cut deeper, but this does not work, and then it dawns to her, but I am still ignorant.

Now Bale accuses me of not having protected her, to have put her in danger, that is she has turned into a zombie herself. The fact is that when she tried to kill off the offender, this person did not want to die, and she realizes he is already dead. And that is what she shouts at me: he is dead. They are undead.

Immediately, Bale accuses the boss too, saying that they set it up, and now she has become a crossbread of two kinds of undead creatures, and I see her shapeshift and change. And when that happens, I back away. They two or three go to the kitchen next door, so she is still conscious, and wishes me no harm. She becomes very big, blown up, her face changes, as if blown up like a balloon, her skin colour is brown now. I put her in this danger.

I don't like to see her like this.

A bit later the dream continues after a time lapse, I have become a small African girl, who has just been bitten to become a zombie too, this was ultimately my fate. And I am destined to serve the lords of this house. This is when I leave the original two rooms, via the second room which I called the kitchen, I come into a bigger hall, where I see more of the same, African ladies, under a spell, they are all slaves and servants, and they all wear scarifications. I go through the room and go outside, and outside is the woods, and the whole thing looks like a scene from New Orleans.

African mothers who have become zombies gather in the hall, I watch. They gather and undo their shirts, their tits become visible and I see what they are up to, they will have to collect their milk for this or that ceremony I have get to see. I wonder how they will milk themselves, but they just press and pinch and little bits of milk come out. I think this is completely wrong and though on the edges of my consciousness I know what it will be used for or for whom, I never get to know in the dream. This was the end of the dream.

3. Lost in the Diestsestraat

(Lucid Dream)

I arrive at the public library of Leuven from the Diestsestraat. Either morning or evening, not many people about, but inside is a sort of buzz. Already in the first hall when I enter, two or three people are busy. I recognize them. They work in other libraries and buy their books in our store. That already surprises me. Then I see them take books out of the library and piling them on top of a table which is in the middle of the hallway right at the entrance where I came in. There is something curious about the books. That is the second thing that surprises me. These are books from the store.

At the same time they are drinking champagne or cava.

At some point one of them opens the drawer underneath the table and a whole stack of books is revealed. Every book has a label sticking out that marks it as one of our books from the store. I realize that they want to return these. That would be a lot. I don't say anything, because I'm not sure what is happening.

I can see them coming from the direction of the actual library, with bags full of books, and the person of this library is also present. So, what they're doing is certainly arranged. I don't know what to make of it.

When I leave the place, I take the Diestsestraat, because that way is the shortest to my home. I think I must have said goodbye. I believe there must have been some interaction between us. I must have been there for a reason, and when it was done, I could go. And I hurry home.

Still, not many people about. The road, which is a pedestrian area, takes a strange bent, and I follow, but the place does not look familiar to me. I feel a bit lost and keep walking, reasoning that if I go this way, I must surely end up at the right place, which would be either the Bondgenotenlaan, or if I am really that lost, the station, but neither appears. I see dead ends but never take them, so I keep going, hoping I will eventually reach the station. But even that does not work, because the street turns a sharp right and goes up. This confuses me, because it is not there in real life.

The whole way was light and lucid and I wondered about the many open space, the peacefulness of neighbourhoods, the greens and the trees that I could see, not the middle of a city anymore.

I think that when I take the turn right, I will come to the Bondgenotenlaan, so I have hope. I walk up. A little more than halfway up I see two cars blocking the way. I consider squeezing through. These are big cars, meant to drive in the field, all terrain. With big wheels, high seats, very robust, almost military.

From here I can already see that the street will end, but I want to check anyway. Can I squeeze through, there seems to be an opening, but they are parked so that their front wheels overlap or touch, and I can only climb over them. I do this. There is nothing else I can do. The street is muddy and dried sand is underneath the wheels of these cars to show that they are used for driving in the wild.

When I get to the other side, I see the end of the street. There are big apartment blocks and people at leisure, I think it is morning. Maybe a Sunday. And I go a little further. There is a canal or a river running through this part. And I don't go near it, but I can see the water clearly, and it looks like the glacier waters in the Swiss mountains, very wild, very pure, running fast, broad river, rocks protruding. I like it, but it is not within my mission now to investigate this. It runs in such a direction that I don't have to pass it, I will not. But when I turn to go back, I see these kinds of rivers turning up next to me and a little way ahead, everywhere. I ignore these as best as I can, and think them away. This kind of works, and I am not touched by it.

+ When I walk the street, about halfway after crossing another street, I see a shop on my left that I have been meaning to visit, because I want to verify if I know the shopkeeper. And this seems to be a good moment to do that, because the shop has put some stalls and stuff outside on the pavement. It looks much bigger than I remember, I've never entered the store before.

There are big red umbrellas, more like parasols. At first I pass the place, then I think I should have entered, and I go back a few paces, but I can't find the shop. People walk by, this place is more crowded. I look around me but I can't find the shop, at least not a way to get in, because I still see things that refer to the shop.

Because I can't find it, I don't enter and continue. This is when the street takes on a new dimension and I become lost.

(LUCID DREAM)

Later in the dream I am driving a car, maybe with other people in it, and we drive in the direction opposite of where I was earlier in the dream. Now I am in the country, maybe even abroad, nature. There is a mountain, we take the mountain pass. This goes steeply up, on my right is the mountain wall, on my left the ravine or abyss. The car is red, and small, and has round features. It goes well driving up. At some point I think I am getting the hang of it and I hear the engine. I consider changing gear, but decide against it because the way it is now will be able to carry more force. Then I hear the engine make louder and louder noise and I think I should have changed, but it is too late, I have to go through with it in this gear, so I do. And I go up, still go up. It is possible I was following another car. There are also houses on the left, more up on the mountain, left of the road.

Then I suddenly see a gap in front of me. Part of the road is gone. And the hole is big and deep. Even if you would jump you would never make the other side, and you would fall rather deep and crash. The gap is triangular and looks hewn out of the rock of the mountain.

Now I am really sorry of not changing to a higher gear, but I take a moment to decide and keep putting my foot down and speeding, the engine roars. And I take the leap of faith, because I know I'm dreaming. (Lucid Dream). And I reach halfway of the gap, but I don't really fall and nothing bad happens. The dream just changes scene. This is amazing.

Next I find myself on the other side, the car is standing still. There are other people about, possibly those that were driving in front of me, people I know in the dream. I can't remember well what happened there, people trying to help, healing was needed. I don't know.

+ This is what happened, on that side of the gap I find myself with a baby in my hands. I don't know where it comes from, but I am okay with it after a while. I'm sure it's not mine.

Again the dream shifts, now to a completely unrelated scene. I am in the house of Bale. Friends are there. I'm in the sofa, sitting, in front of me is a low table with a red cloth. And red cushions. Cat V is there and when I put my feet on the table to rest, the cat goes lying on it. And I change position or move a bit around from time to time, but the cat just lies relaxed on top of it. Light, bright.

4. Computer Crash

(Hypnagogic Dream)

I'm in the shop, light, customer comes, troubles with the computer, slow, or crashed. I try another time but it does not work.

A colleague, maybe Tama, is working at the other till, but it has the same fault. Someone is at the desk too.

The shop is busy.

When it takes too long, the customer says he will buy it somewhere else, and I say nonono, I can do it. But the customer has no patience. Then other people start coming, two IT persons help me, but mostly just stare at the screen and are no help.

And then Brva is also there, and we all see there is a problem.

And then even Inro is there and sits among another bunch of people, headed by Kr who is sitting at another computer on my left. They have taken out chairs and sit comfortably, while they watch and listen. The girls behind Kr are a bit giggly and want to show Inro something, so she touches the hind neck of Kr and she says it is true what they say, but I don't know what it is that she was feeling for. However, she takes rather a long time touching Kr and I am a little jealous.