Back to Work Decisions

1. Job Not Well Done

Shop, light. All behind the scenes, not on the shop floor itself. I am back from a long time away. And I am faced by all the things that my colleagues did not do while I was away, or did badly. 

I'm almost on the upper floor. These hind floors are very small rooms, this one looks like an attic, a lot of rubbish is lying about. Spare room like. I do my best at work to do what needs to be done, but I am angry with Digr, because he did not do the press like he is supposed to. This was his responsibility while I was away, but so many boxes are still here waiting to be returned. At least a few days too late. About four boxes, which is a lot. This is possibly all from one day of neglect. He did half work.

So I go tell him, but he does not agree and says I should have taken care by now, that it is my responsibility and that I should know he leaves these boxes unreturned because he is not capable of doing it properly.

The thing is that I usually would have done the cleaning up without nagging, but this time, all is on this upper floor, instead of the ground level, so to me it feels completely different because all is replaced.

2. Who I really Fancy

Outside, but still inside or within the bounds of a house but this also has to do with the shop. I can't remember the start which played somewhere else, but then I come to this long table outside, on the patio, where all the people have gathered. I am in the process of considering whether I should go to work or not, or go to taiji or not. 

When I arrive, I see Be, who does taiji. We talk about something, possibly food.

At the other end of the table, on the right side, sits a girl. I know her from a long time ago, but I remember her. She works here now, but she has had trouble with her boyfriend, and is on a crossroads in her life, does not know what to do. She gets up. Joja is there too. And friends of his. I am reminded of Pesl, because sex is in the air.

I see another girl, someone I fancy in the dream, but the first one I had fancied that long ago that I don't want to show her I have an interest in someone else now. This is difficult, is limits my actions. At the same time, I don't know whether I should reacquaint with the old flame. She is very pretty. Short hair in the dream, young. Sharp eyes. She is the kind of person you don't mess about with. I try to avoid her and try to go with the other girl, while I realize that as a sort of revenge in her own situation, this old flame will easily get the next guy and have sex with, while I will have trouble with this new girl, in a sense that I will date this girl but not have sex with her, because such is my character. I don't finish things.

At some point in the dream, in that whole situation, when all of us are standing up and facing each other, I must have kissed my old flame, and good it was.

Cooking Seafood

1. Oyster Sushi

First of all a place like home, Inro is there, sits down. We talk. I prepare to take leave, I have to go somewhere, she gives me advice I think. The street where my parents live, I go with my bicycle. Light. Calm. Cross the crossroads, look out for cars that come from the right, lorry too. I cross and go left, toward Leuven. Morning.
I want to be on time so I hurry a bit. I arrive at the place, a cooking demonstration is going on, central kitchen in the living room, high tables built in a rectangle around the cook, and chairs around that where the people, or guests, sit. The cook looks like the manager of our shop in Antwerp. I have oysters and deep fried shrimp with me, this is my share. And I immediately have a good idea, why don't we make tartare of oyster? I want to tell the person rightaway. He keeps explaining what he is doing like in a tv cooking show, and the intention of the workshop is like that of the cocquerie at the Vaart in Leuven. 
I have to urgently talk to this guy, but I have difficulty to come close and tell him. Can't remember what exactly. So I interrupt, he is making fish too. But when I get close, stand next to him and ask him right in front whether I can ask him a question, he first says yes, because he thinks it will be about his cooking, but it is something completely different, and he does not want to answer and is angry and waves me away.
I am a little irritated too by that, but I back away and go stand where I came from on the side. That is when I see, on the right side of the central kitchen, three girls sitting, and they all look like Inro. I know the real one from the other too, she sits furthest of them all. The closest to me is Inla, and I am surprised to see her, but maybe this is my chance to talk to her. They all look up and I say hello to all three at the same time, which is difficult, because you can't give special attention to one in that way. I don't know what to do, who gets priority, what will the others think if I give one of them more attention.
But I go anyway to one of them, and because I am not sure who the middle one is and she looks a bit like Inla, I go to the real Inro, because of her I am sure. I know surely who she is. This means that I sit down between the two Inros, of course I only talk to the real one, and ignore the other, but they seem to be related. And the unfamiliar one is younger. I think she may Inro's sister. I don't know whether she has a sister. 
I reason that Inro must be present here because she was expected to, and how she can be here quicker than me, I don't know. We talk. I say to her I would have loved to know and see her when she was still into gothic. She has some things with her to dress gothic. But she does not want to do that anymore, that part of her life is over.
Early dream. Lucid.

2. Four Day Workshop

The dream continues, because I am really preparing for a journey. I go to another room or drive around on my cycle first in town, unfamiliar, big, modern city, light.
At some point I barge into Dabe. He is going to help me. This possibly has something to do with initiation. At some later point and in another place but still the same city, there is also Fras. And when we all leave, going our seperate ways, Fras makes the point of saying that the three of us will come together for a ritual later in the year, we have to discuss this. I say to Dabe that I'd like to do that in Germany, where he lives. But now I really have to leave and I explain to Dabe, of the four days, the one but last I'll be in Scotland to visit Fras for a workshop, so I can't make the full four days. I tell him I am quite busy. Four persons I have an appointmen with. Fras2 and Fras, and then Dabe and someone else I can't remember.
This second place was a small public room, next to the street.
I also remember wandering through the city, looking for the right streets, big streets, railway. There is a train leaving the city on the east side, I will have to take that one. Outside of the city I see the fields, and plots of land that people use for gardening, vegetables.
A lot more things happened there, but I can't remember. Hints to magic.

2+. Eagle Head

We are outside, evening, on the grass, standing, all near each other, I don't see the surroundings, maybe someone's backyard, or maybe the start of a field, countryside. Behind me is a house or are houses. Two people are discussing something important, at first I just listen. They are preparing for something that they are participating in and everything must be right. One of them thinks she or he is right, the others don't really know, I have my own opinion.
The whole topic is about the eagle. The person in charge has a white sheet with which she covers her head, while she holds the ends in her hands. This is the eagle.
And they discuss the importance of the word eagle, the English word and its root, or esoteric etymology maybe. That is where I try to follow, but I'm not certain about my own thoughts about this, so I don't interfere. It is important to use the word 'eagle' and none other. There is a mystic old French connection? Or Celtic?
What I think is that when my time comes to do this rite, I will use the Germanic counterpart, Arend, and that will be good too, whatever they think.
I must have seen a real eagle too, in the dream, white, brown, yellow, American kind, big.
 

3. Octo Head

Last dream was about a boy that went fishing with another person, but was tricked, river, boat, trees on the side. Because he got from the guy an octopus on his head which he could not remove. In a next fragment, this was in the news, and years later it was still remembered, when I walked the steets of a city, brick.

+ Before that in the same dream was a fragment where I was working on a computer, old model, on the street, outside, and two other people with me, who obviously knew more about those machines than I. I was working on trying to communicate over long distance, maybe England, Great Britain. Things were in English anyway. Though I was the least competent, I was trusted the most. Papers came out of the machine, don't know what it all was, don't remember. Dark.

(24 minutes of writing)

Cows in the Field

1. Shopping for New Year Party

Dream starts in a house, dark, empty, night, brother N is there. Making ready for a party, rest of family is here or will be coming. Maybe home of N. New Year's party, and we are close to midnight, some things are missing for dinner, so I hurry to the shop, supermarket, possibly Match or Carrefour.
I go outside and start to run down the street, slightly downhill, too, and very straight and very long road. I hurry and run fast, really make my best effort to make it. I takes a while before I get in the supermarket. Dark as well, one level, still many people there.
I remember a part where they are closing when I arrive, but I can get through just in time, don't know where exactly in the dream.
There are only two things that I need, one of them is one onion, the other is maybe tooth paste or soap. I am rather disappointed that it is only that. Then I walk around in the shop and in the back on the right, there is a bench and I sit down there to take a rest. Two other people sit on my right. A boy and then a girl. When I look I recognize the girl, she is Cl, I call her name, and she is startled, because I said Sandra and she does not use that name anymore, now it is Sarah. She changed it to leave her past behind. She does not respond or react, so I call again. Eventually her boy friend asks whether she knows me, then she explains. I know her from the lunch bar. Her face looks different now, she looks like someone else and I don't recognize her anymore but I know it is her, I leave them in peace.
When I go to pay, back in the centre part of the shop, I queue up, two people in front of me, then only one. Two counters are open. Then things get stuck, because the lady in front of me needs an invoice, and the cassier does not know how to make one, or not in this case anyway. After a while, she calls her superior. It takes a long time, all of it, and I am pressed, I watch the clock, and more than an hour and a half have passed already, it is past half past six and I want to go home, I decide to leave without my shopping because I've wasted enough time, but that is when the supervisor comes so I stay believing that it will work out, but that is not the case, it still takes a long time, I am not pleased.
On the way back, straight line, very fast running, speeding, my brothers run with me, we run through the fields, upward. This time light. I run faster than the rest, am ahead. We run through fields, but also where there are cows, which is a little strange, we climb over fences, trees on the left, we still go through, right through nature.

2. Dream Notes Threefold

Other dream, arrived. Colleagues there waiting. Digr there, possibly Keva and Brva. Sit down in the kitchen which looks like the kitchen of my parents.
I arrive later. People are discussing things, I get involved, it is about dreams. I remember the part they are talking about because I recorded it quite detailed. Three phrases of which one is true, but I wrote the three of them down. Digr won't believe me. 

(18 minutes of writing)

Jewish Quarter

1. Planning a Gun Party

(From notes). Ordering my notes, inside, sunlight, partly outside. Maybe Russian. White paper, I remember orange and blue lining, maybe rectangular shaped papers. I sit down for this. Am relaxed. 

I join something. Two other people are also here. We start outside. I mop, maybe the kitchen. High place everytime, view to outside.

In the meanwhile a lady leader figure arrives and is preparing for something, maybe she is an architect (from notes). The event she prepares will have many guests. It will last several days, with one main day. All is on her paper, schedule, I help her. There will be a shooting competition, maybe clay or carbine.

Everything is planned. Then it appears that the person responsible for the shooting, possibly the only man capable of handling a rifle and not a member of the party itself, will not make it that particular day. When we do the shooting for fun, he at least must be present to supervise.

2. Still Exhausted

(From notes). Legs with us, I come along. I remember that we now are one year later, it is March, last year we started in January, so more than a year has elapsed. Still my legs hurt, I think. After all that time. Still I have not recovered fully.

3. Two Jewish Buildings

I'm walking in an unfamiliar city, dark, by day. We end up in the Jewish quarter. There is a building which is isolated, right in the centre, and then a street around it and buildings, but this central building really stands out. It is a big block, maybe like bank. Jewish property, so maybe diamond factory.

We get a tour. Someone guides us. There is another Jewish building between the normal houses. Also big. These two buildings are special, they don't look so, but they feel so. This second building I remember, I've been there before, ten years ago. I worked there. When I say this, I don't want to give away my age by saying ten years. Anyway, people get the impression that I go a long way back. (From notes). I go along with a young guy working, but we have to wait a bit longer first. Then I say something, like: ten years ago, I have worked here already. Everyone is surprised that I am that old already.

The place reminds me of Heidelberg. In the dream we never enter, but that is the intention, for the second building at least, not the first, that is more exclusive. I haven't been there.

We hear about different kinds of Jew that exist. One particular kind is emphasized, I don't remember, it was something like kishkish, but it does not exist. The others that were named were the classical ones. This KK were the weakest group. All this is information I have already, in the dream. That is when we enter? 

4. Seven Drinks

We are outside, on a square, big one, but where we sit, in the sunshine, good day, that part is private, or closed off. Jews are sitting with us, or the building behind us is theirs. In the middle of a city, big city. We relax. It is my turn to get drinks, or I want to get a drink and think it is only polite to ask the others, in the old days I would not have done that. So other people start to order, and I have to remember seven drinks, among which two cokes, my own water, and a special kind of water I have not heard of before. This is a kind of sparkling water, but only half, the other half is still, so you have both kinds in one and the same bottle, one and the same glass. I wonder how that can be, and I am curious. It appears to be a new thing and the thing is that it is like the atmosphere, mixed constitution.

Maybe the Loving Hut.

I get up and look for drinks. I remember two different place and they don't really match the square. One is near a green and I get my drinks from a ticket booth or something like that, there is a small space you can enter and there are the drinks, or you order them. The other (don't know anymore). But I don't find the place for ordering drinks rightaway, this is the second place I talked about, and it is on the right behind the fence.

Livl is sitting in the corner at the table, whites. Kr is there too, after a while he comes helping. Or someone else does. I don't particularly make an effort to remember. I actually forget, I can remember four or so.

At  the table we discuss whether we will go to work tomorrow, but everyone wants to go work rightaway, I don't, it is 4pm, and not time enough anymore. I want my free time till I really need to get back to work, so I only want to start working tomorrow. Livl wants to work rightaway.

Lots of sunshine.

5. Pepper Poker

We are outside, but private, at a long table. The house in front of me. Back part of a street. Behind me a fence. Long space. Don't know what's on my right.

We are playing poker. Three rounds I remember. Maybe we are five players, but one does not pay attention, so maybe really four. My brother N is one of them. He sits across of me, and maybe no one between us, or maybe one person. We play with Roma tomatoes instead of cards. We all have two. And we use the red pins, which are used for sealing AMP boxes. After one round already, I don't win, but see how the others are playing and wait for my chance, after one round we the pins have changed into chili peppers. I bet a lot, and the person on N's left also, he is winning. A whole pile of peppers, and a pile in the middle too. Second round. N is not waiting for me to bet, although I very much want, or maybe the third round already. He thinks he is going to win, but I have good tomatoes too.

I win anyway, because to my own surprise I have four tomatoes, which can only be a four of a kind. I win anyway. Maybe the earlier winner is close to me, but I win anyway. I keep betting, and following what the others do. Then I show my tomatoes.

6. Gold Necklace

I'm in my room, I am looking for something, all kinds of things lie about on the floor. Light, towels. Morning. By the door (to the bathroom), in a pile of towels, I see my golden necklace. On the floor. I go get it. I knew it was there.

Morbid Mob Ritual Oppression

1. Vampire Church

Me and a few others arrive at a place, big place, mansion, sometimes looks like a church. One big hall. Two levels, like a church, higher platform where the choir sits.

We are mostly on the left side, and first of all on the higher space. This is where you can watch and wait. If you participate, you go down, on the dancing floor so to speak. A lot of people have gathered. Between the high and the low are a few steps, stairs. People gather like they do for a gig, at the moment not much alive, because the event has not started yet. And they are rough people, but also young people, so it must be a metal concert, or gothic. Leather jackets, bikers, and so on. Mostly men indeed, though at least one girl is in our group. We were not prepared for this in any case.

Maybe Candlemass will be playing. Something like that.

There are two men guiding the whole thing, leaders, and they have a few people underneath them in the crowd to manage all. They determine everything, the whole show. They are in the middle. One person in particular, he is like a showman or guru.

We join. If we want or not, we are dragged into it. This chief takes one of us, maybe the girl, or maybe a good friend of mine (so in the dream, I don't remember anyone I know in this part of the dream). He takes him in the centre of the floor and with the help of a few people starts to bind him. It is all weird stuff happening. It is dark and churchlike, gothic like. Our friend is being hanged. He get strapped in cloths, like for bungee, and the colours white and green are used. Most of it goes around his neck, so people think he will be hung by the neck and die for real. I have no fear. I see that they bound him underneath his armpits, so he will be held by his arms, but still it is dangerous, and I don't think this is right. Ropes. I still let them.

Then he is pulled up, so he hangs for real. What the chief does is much like torturing him. And it has been his intention all the way, which means he has no good intentions for any of us present, all the people are sacrifices or victims. The crowd goes wild, maybe this is what they want to see.

The leaders are members of a gang, or maybe maffia, this is an underground thing. Maybe Vampires.

After this first session, we are all at leisure, free time, we have time to walk around, and I go to the floor and walk around, from the left side, clockwise, and admire the architecture, which is exactly like in a church, only the plan is not like that of a church.

In the meanwhile, the leaders start to look for a next victim. I know they have their eyes on me, but I try to avoid them as much as possible, which works well, until I almost got to the higher ground again. That is where they stop me. The first time they ask I resolutely refuse.

They have a new contraption ready, not really in the centre, more to the side of the higher ground. This is made of human skins. And the person will be held between the skins and mid air. I don't want to be sandwiched between that. Not at all. This is morbid. They will hang the person in this, and they want to hang me. I really don't feel like it and they can't force me. I can see very well that if I don't cooperate, they can't force me either way. So I am in my right, and I escape this fate. Then I am back on the higher level.
When I walk around and realize it looks like a church, I see the corners in particular and think of this as Enochian rite come manifest.

Maybe a cafe, later, or a refectory, or a library.
Same place, looks different. Now it is filled with Indian people. They are preparing for a rite. Same division of the room. I want to join right in. And when they start to chant I automatically join them, but after a while I realize I don't know the words, because I try to understand them, think about them. And what is more, one of the Indians is looking at me with a look that says I shouldn't join. Meanwhile, my buddies are on the platform part, and one of the guys continually tries to tell me I shouldn't join. I don't want to listen at first, but after a long while, I yield. This is not my rite. Besides, again, it feels dark and dirty.

Another part in the dream, maybe before the Indian rite, which is outside of this place, there is a courtyard, but all of the people present are lying in the dirt, like they are dead or exhausted, and we seem imprisoned, and at the least we are under the control of a few bad guys. We are crawling in the dirt, there is mud beneath me, I'm lying on the floor. One of my friends is next to me on my left. I am at the side, and in the corner. This is a small space. High walls, one side open, but fenced off. The guards sit on a container in the opposite corner.
Two leaders still, performing a play or something? More to the corner is water or what used to be that, now it is dirt, and dark, and I am so close of it, but I don't want to be in it, let alone touch it.
I keep quite. So I don't call their attention to me. But at the same time I am waiting for the right moment to strike. Something must happen. I know I don't want to endure this, and I won't.
At some point, a ball, or something ball like, is thrown, from person to person, maybe red. I wait for that. This will create an opportunity and I will release myself of the oppression.

After all the events the sky is clear and there is much light, and we go in again, but on one of the upper floors, not the main hall, and we are guided, as in a tour, and get descriptions. Rows of tables, students sit there, young people, boys and girls, and are having their meals there. I wonder whether we should be quite, because this is the library too. All walls are of glass. Maybe a part of the building was ruined, and all the old stone is replaced by glass. A lift is there too which is rather modern. Doors of glass. I still think the young people sitting here are under some kind of spell or are like prisoners, but I'm not part of that. Somewhere deep inside I don't want to be confronted with it and fear to become a part of that again, but I won't allow it. This place is still dangerous. Everyone is brainwashed.
How does one escape a place like this?

Coco Rice

1. Badminton Bump

We arrive in the badminton hall. There is another team playing. Their part is fenced off. Screens. And behind us too, we have to dress in our outfit in the hall itself, which therefore is only a small narrow stroke. It is dark. We come in from the corner on the right far end, not the usual place. A person who I've played badminton with years ago in another club is also there, Je. (The dream reminds me of another dream years ago, about an underground swimming pool).

Something something (can't read notes, this was a very early dream in the night) inside, and being secretive.

There is another boy who is changing clothes here. Walks about, seems a bit lost. He is being secretive, mysterious. I have to pass him to get to the court, at some point, and he does not move, so I shove a little, the signal is clear because I'm rough, but I don't really push him. And he does what (I can't read). Afterward again and he backs.

At some point in all this, he accidentally hits a pole, one that is used for setting up the net, but a big one to hold up the net at the ends, and this pole, like a bar, is still cross of the room, I mean, it is not set in the floor, but stacked somehow, but he walks in it. He goes tell his boss. I'm sure he means I did that to him.

2. Sex

(From notes). I'm on the second floor, the place consists of many rooms, all are dark. Everyone has his own room or place. There is a girl there, I fuck her throughout the different rooms.

3. Cooking Rice

Same dream. 4pm, home, parents, brothers, we're out in the veranda, watching a film with Bruce Willis. I'm sure he himself was in the dream too. He is upset about something. This is in the living room. Us brothers are rather impressed.

Watching the movie and listening to music.

Then I want something to eat, because I'm still hungry, and I decide to make rice. This is a more lucid part, and more light. This is in the veranda. Everyone of the family is busy with his own stuff. And I cook for myself. Because it is 4pm, no one else will eat, but we will eat together in the evening.

So I start preparing some Indonesian food and sometimes want the advice of my father, who is there. I don't want people to see what I'm doing in the first place, but after a while, the cooking is so extensive that I can't. At first I make plain rice, and rice with coco, and then later something else with coco, and I start to experiment with sambals and vegetables. The vegetables come from the garden. There is a plot of land with vegetables, this looks like the place where Stco lives, and he is there. Part of the dream is outside, and feels wholly different than the inside part. 

Because inside is in the veranda, it seems to be outside, too, sometimes. Whites.

When I finally finish with everything, there was a white screen, or white cloth, and I mostly used the left part of the veranda. I suppose my mother was sleeping in the relaxing chair, when I finally finish it is time to have dinner together, but I eat mine alone first. This is rather a bad timing. I can still eat later, too.

Then I set myself down on my bed to watch telly. And to have my food, this is in the left of the veranda.

After that I still want to go to bath, outside, terrace garage, but the dream ends there, so it is only a plan to have a bath.

4. Planting Seeds

Maybe same dream, but before above fragment. Garden of Stco. A space apart in the corner. There are certain creepers there (slingerplant, woekerplant). On the left in the corner is a small spot of earth that is tilled, and we need to place the seeds there which we do, I do that automatically, I don't think about it. I put seed by seed in the earth. Then I think Stco helps me, too.

There is a table outside, at the other end of the house.

5. Small Big Dwarves

Maybe an earlier dream.

I remember dwarves, this too was in the veranda, right side, or outside, or in between. Light, brother D was there and commented on what I saw. The dwarves were ceramic, and all the same size, like garden gnomes, rather voluminous, but not real size dwarves. Then I suddenly saw another set of dwarves, they were half their size, but of a more normal stature. D explains, about the first set, that these keep growing with age, so the elder ones will be bigger. The second set is of another nature, they will always remain small.

Music Bath

1. Car Quest

Only a fragment of a longer dream. Inside, light, sunshine, day. Large building, square, with centre patio, like a patio, or school, green colours. Running through the long corridors, half open to the outside within. Quest, whole dream long.
I remember being in a car, passenger, right side, two other people, younger than me in front of me and driving. Open car, small thing. Some discussion about where we're going and how, this is still on the premises of the building, temple complex (?).
Can't remember more.

2. A System of Numbering

I must have dreamed about taking notes of my dreams, as I remember mixing up the numbers. I started with 2, then continued with 3, then corrected the first, and then I was somewhat confused.

3. Small Dark Grey Cat

Inside, light, other people in the background, big house, don't remember how it looks. I sit in a corner. There is a grey cat, striped, but rather dark, that comes to me, I scratch it behind the ears. There seem to be two ways of stroking the cat, either the body or the head, and it takes two different techniques, but I know them both, and I do one first, and then the other.

4. Famous Guitarist

Dream in a part of the house which is private, bathroom. Musicians in a half circle, play, one guitar player in particular is there who is well known, Jawa. The bath is ready, someone will be in it, or will go in it, I don't remember exactly.

+ Somewhere in a dream or in between dreams I was thinking on the word Vala and whether it could denote males also, or should a word like Vali be considered for that.

+ And maybe the type of dream where I have a house in the middle of an unfamiliar town, on the down side of it and I have to climb my way up, with my bicycle.

5. Yin, Yang, and Mugwort
(Hypnagogic Dream)

I remember a smaller house, with few other people, maybe my father and my brother N. Stairs on the left, I ascend them, maybe there is a telescope on the upper floor.
There's also a part when other people come home, and I'm already there. Something with glasses, they need to be washed, they used them earlier, but now they don't know which one was used by whom. Also, before everyone enters, I receive by post two big cardboard boxes, apparently I know what they are and I put them in the corner, rather disorderly, next to the radiator.
The people who arrive tend to go sit outside on the terrace, I don't want to, because it rains. So I stay in. Grdr is here. And then all the people are male soldiers in old uniforms, and there is Tivd teaching them how to clean the glasses, she explains that the left hand is yang for this and that reason, and the right hand must be yin. And she takes a glass and moves it upside down and so forth, I think this is interesting, and I am supposed to go there and listen, but I don't feel like, so I stay thickheaded.
Later everyone is gone again, and I am again alone, but I don't care. I will go as well now, this is when my father and brother come and help me. I finish a certain job. There's herbs that I harvested, in fact at the same time they needed to be cut, because they had grown too big and were in the way. I recognize the herb, but don't know the name, it is not mugwort, but that is what it reminds me of.
I take the lot outside and will bind it together to transport it on my bicycle. This will be hard because when I go outside, the pile of herb stalks gets bigger and bigger and becomes too much to carry. So I lay some down, now I am at the street. It is calm, maybe morning, but I have to hurry anyway, because I fear a car will want to pass, and the branches will be on the road. That is whene I get help, either my father of brother, or maybe a woman friend.
This friend takes out or weeds out if you will, the dead stalks, they are as big as young trees, and look like dead elder tree stems. I think it is good that someone helps me sort this out.
That is about where the dream ends.

Home Party

1. Jeve

I only remember the last part of a dream.
We are all in the living room of my parents. Lots of people, most I know, it is a mix of family, friends and neighbours. Beha is there. My brother D is there. At some point in the dream, J&W are also there, my cousins, they sit in the sofa across of me, I'm sitting more on the side of my mother's chair. J&W showed up today, although this is the first time they reunite with the family, and they start arguing, in a friendly way, as among brothers, but the thing is that they mostly speak to each other, not the rest of the guests. They are grown up in the meanwhile. One of them gets up and goes to my room and comes back. The way they act reminds me of how Bedr and Jodr related to each other. They are brothers, neighbours. I tell this to the other guests, while they are a moment away, that is, to my room.
The main focus of the dream, however, is the presence of Jeve. I can't take my eyes of her. Earlier in the dream she was in the bedroom of D, together with others, as well as me, but I don't remember what happened there.
Now, she's a guest as so many others, and she sits across of me, which is a long way, but easy to look in her eyes. While I continually long to talk to her or to watch her, I eat grapes, green ones, they are on the table. Some of them are a bit too ripe, but most are okay. I pick them with care. My brother N sits on my left, and shares some of the grapes. 
If I remember correctly, there's also cheese. 
The whole thing reminds me of a Christmas party. 
In an earlier part of the dream, I certainly conversed with her a little. Different looking room. Can't remember well.

+ Okay, this was before the part of eating grapes. There were also cookies on the table, two different kinds. I take both, each in one hand. Then I see Jeve across of me, and I show them to her, because she knows these cookies and what I think of them. The one I like, the other not so much. This is the same kind of moment as in the dream saying goodbye yesterday.

+ Same dream, still earlier, in the living room. I've got all kinds of stuff with me, maybe books. Anyway, I'm carrying a bag of the shop where I work, a big one, which can take a lot of weight. I'm proud to have this bag with me and show it, but then I see many others have it too, for example my brothers, D for certain. They carry these carrier bags. All the same mark. Now I don't feel so special anymore.

Of Horses and Elephants

1. Barefoot Bar

Jeve was on my mind throughout much of the night and at least two thirds of the dreams.

When I go get a sandwich at the lunch bar across the street, I see that the place has been refurbished. Now there is a hallway, then the main area where the tables are and then the kitchen, which is also the place where you make your orders, or used to. I go there because I'm used to.

I'm in the corner. Jeve is busy explaining something to someone. Two boys tend to me. They're new, I've never seen them before. There is someone else who looks like Jeve, who I suppose is her sister. I'm also thinking, Jeve's first name must be related to Marianne.

There's light in the place, lots of space, yellows. Sometimes a faraway feeling.

I'm barefoot. Maybe I'm not served by young guys, but youngsters want to order a sandwich too, when I'm there.

When I go back, I pass Jeve who is explaining something important to her sister, halfway the table area, and I know she is busy, but I say goodbye anyway. Wave my hand. She is a little irritated, but more surprised, for being interrupted. I go on anyway.

Then I go back to the shop. List and Liha are working. I see the clock and see that I have at least another fifteen minutes break. But I can tell that they need me for something, so I decide to make myself available and help.

2. The Narrow Stairs

Here's another fragment which may be in the same dream as the above.

Library in Herent. Up the stairs. Very small, very narrow, I go up until I can't go up anymore. And I end on the upper floor. I'm looking for something in particular. The rooms themselves are small too. The stairs are wooden, a light colour. And steep. Light. Maybe lucid. Maybe I was in the shop first, then arrived at the first floor, then needed to go up another level where everything changed.

Something about Indonesia. I say something about it.

Tables.

In one of my dreams there was Arve.

3. A Soldier's March

The dream begins when I want to return home and realize I wandered so far from it that I don't know where I am. I'm in a city, and walk the streets, my bicycle at hand. I'm lost. I try to trace back my root and go back maybe three turns hesitantly. Day. Bystanders. Then I think I found the right way. Or anyway, the way which would lead me in a straight line back to home, such as a high road.
When I turn to enter that road, I see a very broad road and a T crossing at the end. That already is disappointing, because it is not straight, I will have to decide turning either left or right. So I still don't know where I am. Because this is the most open route I go for it. The landscape is open, there is no traffic, there are no houses, etc. But the road ends and I can already see is.

I go forward. Somewhere in the dream I know I am in Hainaut or Kortrijk. I got here all the way with may bike, which is a very long way and now I have to get back to Leuven and I think that is almost impossible. We try anyway.

Halfway on this road on my left I see deer. Then, moving forward, I see hunters. I recognize them immediately. The ride horses, and when I get closer, I see they don't only ride horses but elephants as well. I am a little intimidated by that but I still go forward and decide to face it. They are all dressed dark. And they ride all next to each other so blocking the whole breath of the way.

That means that when I face them I have to squeeze through. I trust myself and do just that. I go through the centre. Two make way, but the one right in front of me does not, he's on an elephant of course. And when I pass I still slightly touch the animal. Neither of us wanted to admit an hair's breadth. On top of that, I know I can't return through this line once I get through.

When I'm behind this line, as if it is 'behind the enemy's line', than I see I'm in a military camp. They are preparing for an event. Something that they do for themselves, like a ritual or ceremony. They will parade, but not with public significance, only for themselves, for the sake of the military.

They are all foot soldiers here. On the right side are the barracks, and most of the people, preparing. One of the soldiers standing by is overseeing and comes my way to ask why I'm here. Here also, some are on horseback.

The street is effectively a dead end. Fields all about, somewhat rustic place. Quite. Which is good for the soldiers, so that everything they do is kept to themselves.

The whole troupe gets ready to march. They move back into the city, but another part than where I was before, so I do get a chance to find a way back. They will also perform, do theatre and other stuff. In the meanwhile it is clear that none of them can help me, I'll be doing my own rescuing. But they are okay for me to come along. That is, as long as they can keep doing their own stuff, which is the very traditional but obscure performing.

So I follow. These must be the streets of Kortrijk. They are steep. I have my cycle still with me. I go the same way as them while I am looking for the right direction. The bulk of them march up a certain lane, but this is a different route than the one I took. Theirs is a little more open, public. And people come out to watch. I see more of the city but have a hard time finding my way. Still I can't break free of the company of soldiers. My own way, however hard I try to look for it, always leads back to them.

When I look at the soldiers I see they play something out of ancient times. Many are dressed as ancient romans, and they got baby elephants with them, grey ones and pink ones.

Eventually, they enter a building. In the meantime I've befriended one of those soldiers, he is open and talks to me, which is good. Still, inside, nobody knows what to do about me. When I ask or keep asking these soldiers where I can find my home town, there is even one of them that laughs at me. This person thinks that what I want to do is unachievable, because Leuven is that far.

We go up a level, old building, one that they come to every time. Large open space where priests work, or old catholic persons with a strict routine. Lots of wood in the interior. Lots of private space that we can't access. We pass a desk, which forms the line between public and private and an old man of faith is working there, writing. He's got a pile of books in front of him.

Now that I'm here I might just enjoy it. The old man is bald. Maybe this is a catholic study centre. I look at the books, because the top one intrigues me. It says Goetia. White cover, black sigil. Then I take a closer look, four lighter books are underneath, all by Jan Fries, among which Hellrunar. They are paperback editions.

That one soldier is with me, and then there is another soldier who's his friend. All the rest is wandering about, like in a museum. Of course, I ask the priest about this book. I don't get a clear answer. I don't have to, because I can see what kind of books these are anyway. But when I did the asking, my friend soldier was a little alarmed that I disturbed this old man. I should not have done that. But no one can tell me off.

That is about where the dream ends.

It was rather lucid.

Moving House

1. Scorpio

I'm home, house of parents. Living room, I'm alone. Everyone else is out. It is dark. I'm on the sofa. There's a scorpion on my hand, and I got a glass in my hand, much as in the film Skyfall. I don't know exactly what, but I suppose I drink. I take a long time before deciding. There is a little fear for the scorpion, but I know I want to do it anyway and will do it anyway. And I do. Then the scorpion falls on the sofa and I have got a wooden spoon, one to cook with, in my right hand and I hit the scorpion rightaway. I hit it in the right way, and the scorpion is numb, but I can't kill it. It ends somewhere in the corner of the living room, by the tv, as if I flung it that way. Maybe I did.

That is when I see there is another victim scorpion lying on the floor. Maybe dead, maybe only unconscious. And I know I am in danger because these scorpions are still alive, and there will be more and more if I continue doing this. Then again, maybe they are all harmless and I need fear nothing.

2. Pirate Castle

I remember in a dream seeing my cousin Dare. And there was also Toha, don't know the context.

Again the dream is at my parents' place. I am there, outside, front of the house, when a truckdriver asks me if this is the right adress. He's got a truck and drives onto the asphalt beside the house, to where the house is. He says he's a mover, he is here to help move house. Another truck comes after shortly, driven by a skinny man who does not get out. His car is black, his charge is very strange, futuristic, reminds me of the iron throne of Game of Thrones, with spikes, tall, not long. And he's the garbage man, but he comes specifically for this job. He parks his car not far from the street and I think that is a bad place because no one will be able to drive on to the house anymore, but his car is rather small too and he parked it on the side.

Don't know what happens next, I think some of it played inside too.

Then at some point I am back of the house and outside, it is light. And I look at the house, not the garden, garden at my back. But I see the neighbours' house, their house attracts my attention. The house is different. A lot more has been built on top of it. It got towers and (kantelen). Light colour of brick, different colours mixed, orange and red. Black and white, too. Looks a bit gothic, and also a bit piraty. This used to be the house of H&B, but they don't live there anymore in reality. Maybe it is the new people who built this.

Then I look at the left, the house of T&B. Some of it is in the same style, to my surprise. The part closes to our house is. Tower, and a flag waving on top. It really catches my eye. It is very big, much bigger than a flag is supposed to be. Black, and also white, like a pirate flag. But not the same design. And the flag is not really rectangular, rather irregular. I'm quite impressed by all this. Looks a lot better than before.

3. Spicy Red Underwear

There's a hall. Inside, I think we are training, so lots of people doing the same thing, in flow. Maybe taiji. I'm in front, but not teaching. Someone else teaches I think, it is also possible that we all practice independently. On my right and more at the back is a lady that catches my eye. She wears white. I know exactly who she is. I like her, but don't want to make contact in public. Then when I look again, she wears less clothes. And so on until she only wears a bra and underpants. Both red, and very spicy. I like that very much, but I keep practicing and stay focused. I don't know if this girl expects anything of me, but I keep doing my own thing and ignore her. Maybe if no one was here I would go to her, but I'm not sure.

4. Bedroom Bath

Home, house of parents, inside, section of bedrooms, brothers are both in the neighbourhood. I come from somewhere. The hallway is dark. The door to my room is open. That is normal, since I don't live there anymore in reality, and my parents keep the door open. But I see a girl there. And I enter my room. And the girl, as if far away, goes to the foot end of the bed and there is a hot bath there and she enters the bath. Her hair is wet. This woman looks like Hids. I hesitate a little, then I join in the bath anyway.

Shishigami

1. The King Deer

From notes, one dream, not chronologically.

Choosing between two books.

Drive up a hill, through a garden, a competitor who joins.

Quiz.

At home. Cousin Dare and aunt L are there. 

Shishigami.

There is a dream in which I am at first alone in a house. This is home, but it does not look like it at all. It is dark, no lights are on. No activity. Many more people will arrive later. I am the outsider again. Did not go out with the others, or am back early. I think I just did not want to be part of the group. 

The main room is a low level, there is higher ground, like a balcony, you can oversee the main room. This room is divided in two. Everything happens on the right side. There are tables and chairs. A bit like a cinema. On the wall is a screen which serves as telly for a projector, something like that. A long bench is also set sideways, in the centre of the room. All kinds of stuff are on it and in its vicinity. So I play with the technology, like looking for a dvd, seeing whether this beamer really works, and so on.

I want to watch a dvd anyway now that I'm here and got some spare time. So I look for it. One is already in it, I take it out. Then I take a documentary. Four dvd's in a box. Or maybe it was Game of Thrones that I wanted to watch. What happens is that there are two dvd's. I try one of them thinking it is the other, so I mistake, or the mistake is made for me by the dream, whether I chose the right dvd or not.

Anyway a nature documentary starts to play when I try. What I wanted was probably the Hobbit, or Lord of the Rings. The computer itself is a rather big machine.

I fiddle with the electronics, I'm utterly clumsy with it.

Later the people arrive. We still sit on this right side. We are divided in two groups. One is closer to the telly or screen, and the other is about where I was, and I know them and join them. They are my team. In the meanwhile the atmosphere turns a dark blue. We are all waiting and watch. I don't know the people of the other team, though I wonder who they are. Young boys, adolescent, young adults more like.

The far end, behind is the upper story, but the far end where the door should be, is now more like the opening of a train tunnel. And I expect a train can issue from it any minute and just ride through the room. In fact we are all waiting in anticipation.

Then suddenly a kind of deer enters the room. It issued from the door. When it appears, it does look like what we were expecting. Now two camps form, the ones who are pro and the ones who are contra. There's a tension of what needs to be done. Some want to shoot it.

I'm reminded of a scene from Howls Moving Castle.

Earlier, I was the one who was lagging behind, don't remember of what. Jump on something, can't remember.

Kind of gate, that is the door.

Deer enters, will we shoot it? We all gather around it, the two teams. And then suddenly we start to dance, clockwise, and I take the lead, or maybe I don't but I follow the lead and in this way I entice other people to join, because they wouldn't move otherwise. Now the atmosphere is rather red. In fact, I am good in this dance and I know the dance, whereas many others don't.

At some point, maybe later, two male students enter the room. We are on the upper level or closer to that space now. They start talking about 'reigers'. By that they mean 'swingers', people who are out to have sex. I join in and give them a few ideas, like what kind of sex games they could play, or could imagine about, and they like that.

2. The Girl with the Black Hair and the Small Tits

There's another dream. I remember a girl with long black curly hair who looked quite good although I never clearly saw her face. Her hair was wet and it looked like she had just jumped out of bath. She might have washed her hair just a minute ago.

First there is a distance, dream is like one I'm not it. Then I somehow move in, get closer and we start to have sex. I notice she got small tits, but that's okay, I like that. I touch her anyway and hold her very long. She obviously likes it. I start anyway, though I had reservations, but I realize there is no reason why I should not go for it. However, I don't penetrate, or we don't.

3. Change of Twenty

In the day I remembered another fragment of a dream. Light, I have to give a person change. We're among friends. I don't have that kind of change. I've got lots of money in my pocket, like notes of fifty, but not the exact amount that this person needs. Then another person standing on my left says to me, you do have the right change, and I take another look in my wallet, and yes, there are two notes of twenty, and that is exactly what I've been looking for. So, problem solved. Inside.

Cooking Shells

1. Driving the Island

We're on an island, relatively small, hills, one big city. We drive around, and try to find the place where we need to go. My brother N is with me. Light. 
For some reason which I forgot we keep driving, and drive around the whold island, in a circle, clockwise, but eventually arrive at the same place as where we started. There we get out. The island is busy. Alth is there, his brother M too. 

2. Maybe Water

Dream in between, which I've now forgotton.
+ There was something with a green e-reader or tablet, that I was reading from, on my own, inside.

3. Mother and Daughter

In an office, I am on my computer there, colleague across of me, maybe Ch. Long tables. The long table behind me has computers too, Keva works there, he is not there, because he is in a meeting with the boss. Then Digr appears and says to Keva: do you know what you can do? You can clean your computer screen. And use Boes for that. And I am thinking, yes, I had that idea too, only never said it. And then there's the colleague across of me, who comments that Keva must do extra work.
I like to show I know this Boes. Digr says, the cow with the Roekstok, he means Riek, which is what I say, fork. And I say, I would be happy to have any opportunity to watch Boes, even if it meant cleaning.
Then the scene shifts. We are in my bedroom, real one, I'm in bed. The pc is ready in my bed to note my dreams. I have a bowl with shells in my bed too, I'll have them for breakfast. There are filled. I try one while Brva watches me doing this. I can't figure out how to eat the shells. Then the daughter of Jotr enters, and her mother, which is not the wife of Jotr, and it finally makes sense, I don't say a word, but mother and daughter look very alike, which means that Jotr has two wives. The mother has short, black hair, little grey in it, she is very strict, and is lecturing one of is employees, I can't remember exactly what she said, don't remember who else was there too.
In the end, they leave, and I'm alone with my shells. The cook appears, he is the guy from a certain sandwich bar, Crusty. He makes me something else besides the shells, and then we have to settle the bill and he says it is 20 euros, which I think is a lot of money. But I guess the numbers are right. 
I'm not happy about the shells, and he tells me I had them before and did not like them then, but that he has to charge money for them now again. I follow his reasoning. Meanwhile I'm thinking I should boil the shells in soup, that would be better, and before the cook leaves that is just what he says, and I'm sorry that I did not speak up earlier. But I'll do this anyway.
Then I make myself ready to record my dreams on the computer.
That is about where the dream ends.

(18 minutes of writing)

The Yew and the Squirrel

1. Inro

Inro was in a dream, can't remember. I suppose shop environment. Good natured.

2. Book Question

At home of parents in the living room. Everyone is there. Light. Sitting in the sofa. Watching telly. Rurouni Kenshin on television, which means that I'm the one watching, and all the rest is just there by accident. Parents are there.

We are eating in front of the tv.

I remember we are having Osso Bucco, but I don't know if it was this dream, I suppose so. It was tough, not tender, I did not like the looks of it, because the meat was too white. Maybe two pieces of meat looked good.

At the same time this is the shop environment and suddenly, Me appears, from the dining room, asks me a question. She asks where she can find the latest cookbook by Jeroen Meus. The yellow one. While at the same time I'm reading a book in English (This from notes). 

In front of telly, I make myself a slice of bread with mussels in sauce, like my father used to buy for us. This has been a long time.

3. Threesome

(Wet Dream)

Outside in the garden, grass, park, green, looks unfamiliar, but as a matter of fact it is the garden of my parents. Somewhere near the side is a bush which is handmade. All made of yew branches. And cones attached to it, big ones. Squirrels try to take the cones, they have to pull hard. There are two squirrels. Pull, pull, then snap, and the squirrel takes away the cone. I think that is a wonderful sight. Dark, by day, like a thunderstorm overcast.

Jome is there. I haven't seen her in a long time, but she looks still the same as when I last saw her years ago, although in reality she now looks different. In total we are a get together of three boys and two girls. That of course is a mismatch. So we will have to share. And someone makes the calculations. We three boys can all have Jome, because she is the prize, 33 times. But in total the sum would be 165. So there is a little bit of competition. Especially with me and another boy, who wears white and who is trying to get real close with Jome, although I know she wants me. We had contact before he joined in, but not in a way that you can say things were finished.

Then we are in a corner of this garden, and it feels like we are inside of a building. And we all lie on the floor. And I try to work my way toward Jome, but in the meanwhile that other boy lies next to her. He is actually her husband, her rightful partner, boy friend. I want to have a piece anyway so I go for it.

At some point at the end of the dream, I get close to her and we have sex. I have trouble entering, but I get there anyway. I remember, earlier I had the same problem. It is not really a problem, just not smooth. I get in anyway.

Now, this last time is too much for me, and I lose my seed. This is a wet dream. I am too tired to hold it back so I let it go. End of dream. I don't really sleep after that anymore.

4. Change Sheets

At some point I saw my own bedroom in dream or astral vision and realized that I should changes the sheets. This is very necessary. The sheets and cover especially are torn from the bed almost halfway. (Hoeslaken).

Catch the Taiji Train

1. Playground Sex

Outside playground at complex, enclosed, big square and smaller, fenced. Lots of people, like in a park. I go from the big squar to the small one, which is certainly a playground for children, area with sand, and a slide is there too if I remember correctly. On the side are sofas, I sit down. Children are playing, parents are watching or helping. Three children have followed me, they have followed me from the other place to here. Three or four, they are girls, seven to ten years old maybe, all blond. At least one of them climbs on top of me, and I let her, I actually enjoy this. I doubt about what the other people around will think, but I let it happen and don't take action myself. I get a little bit sexually roused, though.
This is the end part of a larger dream.

2. Taiji Train

I'm in a town, familiar, together with Svdb, evening or nighttime, because it is dark already, and we have to catch the train. We've waited just a little too long before deciding. Svdb is going to drive us, to the train, maybe we can catch it. This is in Wezemaal, and either we come from taiji class or we go to it. Anle was there too, but travels on her own, I suppose she is home already. Svdb is going to help me. We see the train pass, drive through the city ourselves. In the direction of the station. I think in the end we catch up, but I can't remember.

3. Shooting Birds

Home of Anle and Svdb, though looks different than in reality. White walls, big table in the dining room, one level only. Country house. Hunt. I have or get a rifle, a hunting gun. I need to have one for the reason I am here. And in a small window I see birds, green and yellow, parakits. I shoot at them, but miss every time.
I go to the kitchen. Tivd is also here. All taiji people. Can't remember what happens next, this is the middle part of a dream, the whole thing played in this house.

+ Something with cucumber. I was in the kitchen making soup and added slices of cucumber in it. Also something with crisps. Someone made a comment on me having or eating that.
4. Diving for Fish
(Hypnagogic Dream)

We are out at sea, I know these waters, it is possibly Indonesia. The people on the boat are here for the first time. They are looking for something in particular that you can only find in the (dream) water. Ocean. Something about the vegetation maybe. I look down, the water is clear, but the ocean floor surprises me, this is not the usual kind, and maybe we are in a special place. The floor looks totally artificial, like in an aquarium. All pebbles of the same size, and nothing else, grey and white, looks nice though, but I'm rather alarmed by it. It feels like danger, like a place with a will of its own that you can't control once you are in the water and it gets to you.
Eventually we all dive anyway, but the waters are sterile, clear, but nothing lives there, unless you would say that the waters and the pebbles are the residing life itself.

5. Metal Coat of Arms
(Hypnagogic Dream)

I'm in my bedroom (real life one) and wake up, when I look out of the window I see that people have hung coats of arms on there walls and between windows, but thy are real metal shields, sometimes also square or rectangular, but still of metal and very big.
I recognize the colours of Leuven among them. Across the street, there's lots of weapons with whites and reds. I think, aha, that is what I heard earlier in the night, all the clamour, they were busy hanging up these things. I don't know what the reason is, everyone else seems to know, this is a special day.