1. Fear
One dream in the night seemed like a nightmare, after waking I was rather excited because I never have nightmares. I was even afraid to go back to sleep and so on. But I can't remember the dream itself anymore.
2. Series of Doors
Then a sort of big dream, and long.
Light in the dream. Outside, city, but maybe camping, complex building, inside the complex, ordering a sandwich, in doubt, but I take the one with crab anyway, this is the special one, because it has real crab in it, and you don't find that easily. I see how the girl behind the counter smears the crab salad on the bread. Nice.
When I take out my platter, like in a cafetaria, I am looking for a place to sit down. I come into a hall, like a refectory, but all wooden tables and seats, but in an orderly manner and fixed seats and tables I think. No room, all seats are taken. I have no mind to go eat outside, don't want to walk that far. So I look around, don't really know what to do. Turn about a bit to see if there is space somewhere. In doubt again. Then I decide to just sit anywhere. Somewhere in a corner seems fine. A girl and a lady sit there, but on one side, so the side closest to me is free and I sit there. I ask leave first. The girl is really pretty, long blond hair and sharp eyes. And I seem to recognize her from somewhere, maybe seen her in town or in the shop.
Soon enough the older lady is out of my view, and I sit in a different position, head of table, but I am shy and dare not speak to either of them. I keep my eyes strictly to my own platter and think by myself I will address them to small talk after I've eaten, which is an excuse. I just don't feel comfortable so close to a pretty girl like that.
I am also in a different position seated, not seated anymore but rather lying on my back and the food is floating above me, like a paprika piece, two pieces, red. And the other stuff I had with me. Raw paprika. I take it from the air and eat bits of it. This goes on for a while.
I don't know if the girl is interested in me. The scene does not allow me to finish it. It stops when I realize I am in this awkward lying position.
Scene changes, same complex or building, different room or rooms, a little further this time. Some kind of workshop is being announced but has not started yet, I am there, and staying, might as well do this. I go from one room to the other and back because nothing is happening yet. Then I see people assembled in one room, and I'd like to be noticed, having people know that I was here first and ready.
Almost a circle of people, but different rows. Most sit on chairs. One person, a lady, not quite in the centre, sits on a chair and starts giving a talk. All seems very reasonable, but I don't quite pay attention. Something else got my attention, namely the sexual energy present in the room or atmosphere. I don't know what to do with it. All people are quite serious looking.
Then I change my seat and go sit somewhere else. And someone I know is there too. Jadh, and she sat there before me, and saw her being interested in me, but I stay stoic, because I don't want to draw attention. I sit on a chair and she is on my right, and sitting on the floor, but she does not mind, and starts touching me all over the place. I soon enough have my hand touching first her head, which is closest, and then underneath her shirt and so on. I still try to keep a low cover, because this is not the right circumstances, yet I think that the talk is about sexual energy and so on. Want to put in into practice, Jadh does it for me.
Then the scene changes again, a little further in the building, different room, people are queuing up, again, I am the first to find the door. I don't know how I came here though, but in fact I think it is the logical conclusion of the earlier talk, which made people move this way.
First I am maybe the only person there, the door is in the corner and I stay there and wait. Then a man comes and wants to open it, he is very eager, especially because he says he knows the way, but I hold him back because I want to do this myself. Then suddenly the room is full of people and not one of them really knows what to do, but me, so when I go in they will naturally follow.
I open the door and am surprised to find myself in a very small spot or room, only two people can stand here, and the man who has been here before stands next to me, now the room is full. Immediately after entering I see in front of me another door. Again the man wants to open it, he is impatient, in fact he wants to show me that he knows. I don't let him, because I want to test myself and see if I can do this without help. And I can, from start to finish.
I open the door, I open it the other way than this man would have done. The door in my case turns in toward me, I enter and come into just another small room with in front of me another door. Again I open it, which turns toward me. The doors are soft, and the whole room is not only lighted, but soft as if the walls are done with velvet. Beige.
The next few doors open in the other way, away from me, but the rooms are the same. Then the doors become more ethereal, and are like curtains, white and flimsy (glasgordijn). Again I want to do it myself, because again the man is beside me, and I find the right way the first time to open it, that is from corner to corner, upper left to upper right. I here see that different ways are possible and I am prepared to experiment. I know well enough by now that more such doors or curtains will follow and they do.
At some point I open the curtain like I know how it is done and enter, but when I enter I fall down, there is a big space in front of me and no bottom and all is darkness, and I fall, but I have no fear. Maybe I have a little fear, but I am prepared to let it all happen, and disregard my fear. Even if the thought of fear blocks me from falling all the way, I concentrate to let it happen anyway.
At the same time I could sense that the door entered in some kind of big hall, but all is dark, and there is no bottom. I try to make myself fall again, because I want to do this to the very end and see what happens. But it does not well work.
The scene shifts.
Now I am outside again, but I have some inside knowledge somehow.
There is a lady with red hair, middle aged, that I have seen earlier in one of the scenes of this dream, and she seems lost. I now know more about her not because I have information, but because I recognize the energy.
She goes up stairs and I follow and want to help, she is on her own and it seems she is running from something, maybe she is another dreamer.
At some point I see the pretty girl again, I think this time she turns her back to me, but I am busy with trying to figure out how I can help this lady. Some other woman is in the dream with similar eyes. All three have sharp eyes. I understand that there is a sixth division of which nothing was said, before, and this division holds the spiritual people. I think I am not yet part of that, but I recognize those people, and when I go through the ground floor rooms of the complex again I see one secret room where such people assemble. You can't enter unless you have this kind of sharp energy. There is a girl singing, she may be part of the sixth, but is in the adjacent room, which can have average people, or normal people.
That is about where the dream ends. But there was lots more.
Monday, 25 August 2014
Thursday, 21 August 2014
Diving Ship underneath Table
1. Broken Keyboard
Keys of the keyboard of my laptop broken at some point in a dream, maybe because I was a little wild or careless. A heap of keys on top of each other, but I did not panic, instead I saw that I could easily get them in the right place when I shifted one from underneath the others. Then at least would most fall into place again naturally. About the one I did not know.
I did think when it happened that it must happen to me, for the keyboard is old and one button was already loose. So I was not surprised. Though I don't want the computer to fall apart.
2. Ship dives under the Table
I read a note, outside in a city, with two other people, maybe my brothers, in the sunshine. The note is on the right page at the bottom, of a book which I am studying. This is something I wanted to know for a long time and know I have access to it. It is only a few lines, but in the middle the name of my father appears. I had seen it even before I read it, but I read as if I don't know, then when I pass the line with the name I acknowledge it. I am a bit surprised, because I did not think my father was in a secret society or did anything occult, but it seems that years ago, before my time for sure, he was part of an organization and worked personally on highly classified materiel. I try to remain poised however. First name and last name mentioned.
The passage is a hint, so we go inside the building, it is an old house, maybe in Holland. Maybe ship building. Now it is like a museum, so old furnishings, from the 17th century. The note also said 1641 or something.
I am looking for clues. At some point my father is actually there.
In the main salon, we sit down. There is another year I see, or the same, I can't remember. Then before I have all the knowledge, my father wants to let the ship to water. The ship is in the house, and he releases it, it has been a very long time since it has been in action, but everything still works, and my father remembers all. But the ship goes down, pointing dangerously deep. There is water underneath the table, we have all assembled at the table, big wooden one. The ship dives into the water, head first. This can't be right. A boat should float. There is some kind of docks, or at least access to the open water, underneath the table, you can see it.
My father hauls up the boat again. This time he wants to do it right. The boat starts high up like on a scaffold. Then, with some mechanism he lowers it, but he can't lower it one level at the time, but only half levels, meaning first the front and then the back, so every time there is a chance that it will slip and fall down. But it doesn't, my father is very experienced, we all see that.
Then he takes many levels at one go, and we all keep our breath, but he makes it. No worries. Everything goes fine. My father knows exactly how it must be done.
Keys of the keyboard of my laptop broken at some point in a dream, maybe because I was a little wild or careless. A heap of keys on top of each other, but I did not panic, instead I saw that I could easily get them in the right place when I shifted one from underneath the others. Then at least would most fall into place again naturally. About the one I did not know.
I did think when it happened that it must happen to me, for the keyboard is old and one button was already loose. So I was not surprised. Though I don't want the computer to fall apart.
2. Ship dives under the Table
I read a note, outside in a city, with two other people, maybe my brothers, in the sunshine. The note is on the right page at the bottom, of a book which I am studying. This is something I wanted to know for a long time and know I have access to it. It is only a few lines, but in the middle the name of my father appears. I had seen it even before I read it, but I read as if I don't know, then when I pass the line with the name I acknowledge it. I am a bit surprised, because I did not think my father was in a secret society or did anything occult, but it seems that years ago, before my time for sure, he was part of an organization and worked personally on highly classified materiel. I try to remain poised however. First name and last name mentioned.
The passage is a hint, so we go inside the building, it is an old house, maybe in Holland. Maybe ship building. Now it is like a museum, so old furnishings, from the 17th century. The note also said 1641 or something.
I am looking for clues. At some point my father is actually there.
In the main salon, we sit down. There is another year I see, or the same, I can't remember. Then before I have all the knowledge, my father wants to let the ship to water. The ship is in the house, and he releases it, it has been a very long time since it has been in action, but everything still works, and my father remembers all. But the ship goes down, pointing dangerously deep. There is water underneath the table, we have all assembled at the table, big wooden one. The ship dives into the water, head first. This can't be right. A boat should float. There is some kind of docks, or at least access to the open water, underneath the table, you can see it.
My father hauls up the boat again. This time he wants to do it right. The boat starts high up like on a scaffold. Then, with some mechanism he lowers it, but he can't lower it one level at the time, but only half levels, meaning first the front and then the back, so every time there is a chance that it will slip and fall down. But it doesn't, my father is very experienced, we all see that.
Then he takes many levels at one go, and we all keep our breath, but he makes it. No worries. Everything goes fine. My father knows exactly how it must be done.
Sunday, 17 August 2014
Match Closing
1. Shopping in the Supermarket
Closing time and I go to the supermarket, which is called Match, because it is closest to me and this one is underground. I thought I had time enough, but when I arrive I see they are closing the doors already, I squeeze through, through the small slit, staff is closing the doors and in the way. I manage to get through and somehow get down, descend the stairs or escalator. I am down before I know it.
I am surprised to see so many people still shopping here. I get a basket, but at the entrance of the shop proper I tell the people of the shop there, two women, that I have a bag with me from another shop. In fact, I had already bought two things in another shop but thought it too little food, so I thought of buying two more things here. This is what I do and I know exactly what I want. I already have the croquettes. So I leave my bag here, which is from SB. A very big bag, and it is soft, something large and soft takes a lot of space in the bag. The bag is the largest size, so it stands out. I hand it over, the women are not used to that, which means that I should not have done it, but it is alright. Then I enter the shop hands free.
I look for the two more things I need, one is again something in the freezers, because I want something deepfried. I walk a little about in the shop as if I'm lost. Before I know it I find myself at the check out, many people are queuing and that in different rows. I did not even realize the checkout was this way, I am rather disoriented. For a moment I don't know what to do, but I end up there again whichever way I go, so I go to the checkout and call it a day. The shop will close anyway.
When it's my turn I see that I have quite a lot more things with me than I anticipated. In my enthusiasm I bought many things. I don't worry about it. I am at the counter, and people queue up behind me. Because I have a lot of stuff, it takes a long time. I have my bag ready for everything that the person at the till scans and gives me. Everything has its place. It goes rather slow, but I don't mind. I don't mind the people waiting. Also, now my brothers appear, they queue up and look at me with something in their eyes that tells me they don't know what I'm doing or why, they have questions, especially N.
When it's time to pay I take my card and put it in the machine, which is high. The price is given on a display above it. I'm not sure the price is right, but I don't care. I insert the card, it is my old card, blue. But some herb like parsley is in the way, and I squeeze the card in anyway, so that some herb fluid smears my card and the inside of the machine. I'm not sure I should take the green away first and try again but I leave it as it is. The display is aware of the squashed green and it says so on the display, fluid detected.
When I finish I collect my bag.
There was another dream before this one that I remembered first, but now I don't.
Closing time and I go to the supermarket, which is called Match, because it is closest to me and this one is underground. I thought I had time enough, but when I arrive I see they are closing the doors already, I squeeze through, through the small slit, staff is closing the doors and in the way. I manage to get through and somehow get down, descend the stairs or escalator. I am down before I know it.
I am surprised to see so many people still shopping here. I get a basket, but at the entrance of the shop proper I tell the people of the shop there, two women, that I have a bag with me from another shop. In fact, I had already bought two things in another shop but thought it too little food, so I thought of buying two more things here. This is what I do and I know exactly what I want. I already have the croquettes. So I leave my bag here, which is from SB. A very big bag, and it is soft, something large and soft takes a lot of space in the bag. The bag is the largest size, so it stands out. I hand it over, the women are not used to that, which means that I should not have done it, but it is alright. Then I enter the shop hands free.
I look for the two more things I need, one is again something in the freezers, because I want something deepfried. I walk a little about in the shop as if I'm lost. Before I know it I find myself at the check out, many people are queuing and that in different rows. I did not even realize the checkout was this way, I am rather disoriented. For a moment I don't know what to do, but I end up there again whichever way I go, so I go to the checkout and call it a day. The shop will close anyway.
When it's my turn I see that I have quite a lot more things with me than I anticipated. In my enthusiasm I bought many things. I don't worry about it. I am at the counter, and people queue up behind me. Because I have a lot of stuff, it takes a long time. I have my bag ready for everything that the person at the till scans and gives me. Everything has its place. It goes rather slow, but I don't mind. I don't mind the people waiting. Also, now my brothers appear, they queue up and look at me with something in their eyes that tells me they don't know what I'm doing or why, they have questions, especially N.
When it's time to pay I take my card and put it in the machine, which is high. The price is given on a display above it. I'm not sure the price is right, but I don't care. I insert the card, it is my old card, blue. But some herb like parsley is in the way, and I squeeze the card in anyway, so that some herb fluid smears my card and the inside of the machine. I'm not sure I should take the green away first and try again but I leave it as it is. The display is aware of the squashed green and it says so on the display, fluid detected.
When I finish I collect my bag.
There was another dream before this one that I remembered first, but now I don't.
Thursday, 14 August 2014
About Heathenry
1. Heathens
At the end of the last dream, Asgr was there, inside, a house, maybe hers. Dark environment, other people were there, table, greens and browns. By the window. Maybe her son, or in her arms, which made her say something about religion or heathens which made me reply. Maybe the discussion was about heathens, and at least did she use the word heathen twice. And I wanted to correct her because the word has different meaning for me and I have some respect for it, and I talked a little about belief I think.
At the end of the last dream, Asgr was there, inside, a house, maybe hers. Dark environment, other people were there, table, greens and browns. By the window. Maybe her son, or in her arms, which made her say something about religion or heathens which made me reply. Maybe the discussion was about heathens, and at least did she use the word heathen twice. And I wanted to correct her because the word has different meaning for me and I have some respect for it, and I talked a little about belief I think.
Wednesday, 13 August 2014
Out of Order Toilet
1. Toilet out of Order
At my parents' place, I was in the bathroom, light, by day, maybe early morning. I went to the toilet, there was already shit in it, and possibly it was mine. I went anyway, then I tried to flush, but it only became more. This was filthy. Then I waited and tried again a little later, but it was stuck and more water build, shit was floating abundantly in the toilet. Then my youngest brother came in. I was doing something else at the sink, washing my hands probably. I was going to be open about it, so I went to look again to the toilet, no improvement. I did saw one big roll of shit on the side, not even in the toilet. I had no idea how I could get rid of this all.
2. Aquamarine
In a dream I opened my money pouch and there were about three beads of aquamarine in it. That is more than I remembered having. But some looked odd, as if they had some mechanic working, bead in a bead or something.
3. Sovo
Last fragment, Sovo was there.
At my parents' place, I was in the bathroom, light, by day, maybe early morning. I went to the toilet, there was already shit in it, and possibly it was mine. I went anyway, then I tried to flush, but it only became more. This was filthy. Then I waited and tried again a little later, but it was stuck and more water build, shit was floating abundantly in the toilet. Then my youngest brother came in. I was doing something else at the sink, washing my hands probably. I was going to be open about it, so I went to look again to the toilet, no improvement. I did saw one big roll of shit on the side, not even in the toilet. I had no idea how I could get rid of this all.
2. Aquamarine
In a dream I opened my money pouch and there were about three beads of aquamarine in it. That is more than I remembered having. But some looked odd, as if they had some mechanic working, bead in a bead or something.
3. Sovo
Last fragment, Sovo was there.
Thursday, 7 August 2014
Phone Game
1. 2048
Fragment of dream. Playing 2048, but different square. All were grey squares. And when I opened the game, there was already a lot of numbers in it, but in such a way that in one swoop I would be able to reduce it to half and get a lot of points. So after a moment's hesitation, I do that, and I end up with four adjacent squares with numbers, which is one row, and they are in the upper row. Then suddenly the rest of the square just disappears and I am left with that row of four. But it also means I am stuck now.
2. Last Breath
Late dream after being awake before. On a weekend or something, city, foreign, abroad, maybe Spain. Table in one room, and Fras is there, and we have gathered here for her. In the other room, to the right, I was earlier, and drew pictures. Now we assemble at the big table, lots of folk, to eat together. I am in a hurry, and so must Fras be, because we have an appointment somewhere and we must leave soon.
Then she starts saying things that last time she had a fit things were very bad, and that the next time will surely mean her end, and people start to worry suddenly. Her appearance is very different, I don't recognize her, she is an other lady, and wears thick red lipstick. Like a sick woman. Lots of makeup to cover for the real damage.
She says everything will be okay, because Ca, from taiji, and he lives in Portugal, will take her home on Thursday. In the dream, Thursday is in a day or two. And it means that Ca will drive her in his car from Spain to Belgium or Holland.
I'm rather worried and I would like to get to the appointment with her. This is something between her and me.
Fragment of dream. Playing 2048, but different square. All were grey squares. And when I opened the game, there was already a lot of numbers in it, but in such a way that in one swoop I would be able to reduce it to half and get a lot of points. So after a moment's hesitation, I do that, and I end up with four adjacent squares with numbers, which is one row, and they are in the upper row. Then suddenly the rest of the square just disappears and I am left with that row of four. But it also means I am stuck now.
2. Last Breath
Late dream after being awake before. On a weekend or something, city, foreign, abroad, maybe Spain. Table in one room, and Fras is there, and we have gathered here for her. In the other room, to the right, I was earlier, and drew pictures. Now we assemble at the big table, lots of folk, to eat together. I am in a hurry, and so must Fras be, because we have an appointment somewhere and we must leave soon.
Then she starts saying things that last time she had a fit things were very bad, and that the next time will surely mean her end, and people start to worry suddenly. Her appearance is very different, I don't recognize her, she is an other lady, and wears thick red lipstick. Like a sick woman. Lots of makeup to cover for the real damage.
She says everything will be okay, because Ca, from taiji, and he lives in Portugal, will take her home on Thursday. In the dream, Thursday is in a day or two. And it means that Ca will drive her in his car from Spain to Belgium or Holland.
I'm rather worried and I would like to get to the appointment with her. This is something between her and me.
Tuesday, 5 August 2014
Kitchen Knife Suicide
1. The Way
Middle of the night, at house of parents, I am in my bedroom, but then I hear my parents are up and I go look. They're in the kitchen, my mom has a large kitchen knife and she slits the left wrist of my dad, in the dangerous direction, the right direction.
I go to them because I want to stop my mom. My dad then goes to the hallway where he will call the medics, and I face my mom. She comes at me but slowly. There is a clear desperation in her eyes and movement. I fear slightly that she will cut me knowing that I cannot die in dreams. I slowly back however, and try to look for a way to make the knife harmless. We are very close. Then we are at the kitchen door. When she comes forward with the knife I make it so that the knife gets stuck in the wooden door frame, and I hook it behind the wood where the hilt of the knife is. This way I should be safe, but I don't feel safe, the danger is not over, she is still out of her mind.
My dad comes back at some point saying that we have to take her to a place called Le Chemin. And I know this is a place for old people, or despairing people, maybe psychiatric. Can't remember now. My dad is fine, he phoned the hospital for mom. She has to be removed.
///
yesterday's dream was about sofo (or maybe the day before) and the attraction is such that we cannot but hug, this time sincerely. And I let her take the initiative.
a few days before that in france, there was sofo in the room I was sleeping, and behind it was a field, some sf effects, the plants were very outlandish, she comes round again into my room, and eventually we hug, but for me this does not yet feel good. I record the dreams here anyway.
Middle of the night, at house of parents, I am in my bedroom, but then I hear my parents are up and I go look. They're in the kitchen, my mom has a large kitchen knife and she slits the left wrist of my dad, in the dangerous direction, the right direction.
I go to them because I want to stop my mom. My dad then goes to the hallway where he will call the medics, and I face my mom. She comes at me but slowly. There is a clear desperation in her eyes and movement. I fear slightly that she will cut me knowing that I cannot die in dreams. I slowly back however, and try to look for a way to make the knife harmless. We are very close. Then we are at the kitchen door. When she comes forward with the knife I make it so that the knife gets stuck in the wooden door frame, and I hook it behind the wood where the hilt of the knife is. This way I should be safe, but I don't feel safe, the danger is not over, she is still out of her mind.
My dad comes back at some point saying that we have to take her to a place called Le Chemin. And I know this is a place for old people, or despairing people, maybe psychiatric. Can't remember now. My dad is fine, he phoned the hospital for mom. She has to be removed.
///
yesterday's dream was about sofo (or maybe the day before) and the attraction is such that we cannot but hug, this time sincerely. And I let her take the initiative.
a few days before that in france, there was sofo in the room I was sleeping, and behind it was a field, some sf effects, the plants were very outlandish, she comes round again into my room, and eventually we hug, but for me this does not yet feel good. I record the dreams here anyway.
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