Labyrinth of Doors

1. Fear

One dream in the night seemed like a nightmare, after waking I was rather excited because I never have nightmares. I was even afraid to go back to sleep and so on. But I can't remember the dream itself anymore.

2. Series of Doors

Then a sort of big dream, and long.
Light in the dream. Outside, city, but maybe camping, complex building, inside the complex, ordering a sandwich, in doubt, but I take the one with crab anyway, this is the special one, because it has real crab in it, and you don't find that easily. I see how the girl behind the counter smears the crab salad on the bread. Nice.
When I take out my platter, like in a cafetaria, I am looking for a place to sit down. I come into a hall, like a refectory, but all wooden tables and seats, but in an orderly manner and fixed seats and tables I think. No room, all seats are taken. I have no mind to go eat outside, don't want to walk that far. So I look around, don't really know what to do. Turn about a bit to see if there is space somewhere. In doubt again. Then I decide to just sit anywhere. Somewhere in a corner seems fine. A girl and a lady sit there, but on one side, so the side closest to me is free and I sit there. I ask leave first. The girl is really pretty, long blond hair and sharp eyes. And I seem to recognize her from somewhere, maybe seen her in town or in the shop.
Soon enough the older lady is out of my view, and I sit in a different position, head of table, but I am shy and dare not speak to either of them. I keep my eyes strictly to my own platter and think by myself I will address them to small talk after I've eaten, which is an excuse. I just don't feel comfortable so close to a pretty girl like that.
I am also in a different position seated, not seated anymore but rather lying on my back and the food is floating above me, like a paprika piece, two pieces, red. And the other stuff I had with me. Raw paprika. I take it from the air and eat bits of it. This goes on for a while.
I don't know if the girl is interested in me. The scene does not allow me to finish it. It stops when I realize I am in this awkward lying position.

Scene changes, same complex or building, different room or rooms, a little further this time. Some kind of workshop is being announced but has not started yet, I am there, and staying, might as well do this. I go from one room to the other and back because nothing is happening yet. Then I see people assembled in one room, and I'd like to be noticed, having people know that I was here first and ready.
Almost a circle of people, but different rows. Most sit on chairs. One person, a lady, not quite in the centre, sits on a chair and starts giving a talk. All seems very reasonable, but I don't quite pay attention. Something else got my attention, namely the sexual energy present in the room or atmosphere. I don't know what to do with it. All people are quite serious looking.
Then I change my seat and go sit somewhere else. And someone I know is there too. Jadh, and she sat there before me, and saw her being interested in me, but I stay stoic, because I don't want to draw attention. I sit on a chair and she is on my right, and sitting on the floor, but she does not mind, and starts touching me all over the place. I soon enough have my hand touching first her head, which is closest, and then underneath her shirt and so on. I still try to keep a low cover, because this is not the right circumstances, yet I think that the talk is about sexual energy and so on. Want to put in into practice, Jadh does it for me.

Then the scene changes again, a little further in the building, different room, people are queuing up, again, I am the first to find the door. I don't know how I came here though, but in fact I think it is the logical conclusion of the earlier talk, which made people move this way.
First I am maybe the only person there, the door is in the corner and I stay there and wait. Then a man comes and wants to open it, he is very eager, especially because he says he knows the way, but I hold him back because I want to do this myself. Then suddenly the room is full of people and not one of them really knows what to do, but me, so when I go in they will naturally follow.
I open the door and am surprised to find myself in a very small spot or room, only two people can stand here, and the man who has been here before stands next to me, now the room is full. Immediately after entering I see in front of me another door. Again the man wants to open it, he is impatient, in fact he wants to show me that he knows. I don't let him, because I want to test myself and see if I can do this without help. And I can, from start to finish.
I open the door, I open it the other way than this man would have done. The door in my case turns in toward me, I enter and come into just another small room with in front of me another door. Again I open it, which turns toward me. The doors are soft, and the whole room is not only lighted, but soft as if the walls are done with velvet. Beige.
The next few doors open in the other way, away from me, but the rooms are the same. Then the doors become more ethereal, and are like curtains, white and flimsy (glasgordijn). Again I want to do it myself, because again the man is beside me, and I find the right way the first time to open it, that is from corner to corner, upper left to upper right. I here see that different ways are possible and I am prepared to experiment. I know well enough by now that more such doors or curtains will follow and they do.
At some point I open the curtain like I know how it is done and enter, but when I enter I fall down, there is a big space in front of me and no bottom and all is darkness, and I fall, but I have no fear. Maybe I have a little fear, but I am prepared to let it all happen, and disregard my fear. Even if the thought of fear blocks me from falling all the way, I concentrate to let it happen anyway.
At the same time I could sense that the door entered in some kind of big hall, but all is dark, and there is no bottom. I try to make myself fall again, because I want to do this to the very end and see what happens. But it does not well work.

The scene shifts.
Now I am outside again, but I have some inside knowledge somehow.
There is a lady with red hair, middle aged, that I have seen earlier in one of the scenes of this dream, and she seems lost. I now know more about her not because I have information, but because I recognize the energy. 
She goes up stairs and I follow and want to help, she is on her own and it seems she is running from something, maybe she is another dreamer.
At some point I see the pretty girl again, I think this time she turns her back to me, but I am busy with trying to figure out how I can help this lady. Some other woman is in the dream with similar eyes. All three have sharp eyes. I understand that there is a sixth division of which nothing was said, before, and this division holds the spiritual people. I think I am not yet part of that, but I recognize those people, and when I go through the ground floor rooms of the complex again I see one secret room where such people assemble. You can't enter unless you have this kind of sharp energy. There is a girl singing, she may be part of the sixth, but is in the adjacent room, which can have average people, or normal people.
That is about where the dream ends. But there was lots more.

Descent in the Museum

1. Bathtub Ejaculation

Nighttime, house, everyone gone to bed, I am the last one up and going to bed as well. House of parents, but on an upper floor and has more rooms, but all is on one floor. The room that is mine is somewhere stacked away in the back, behind the bathroom, which in reality is D's room.
Some people are still awake in the living room but they are not family, two Turkish or Moroccon people.
When I'm in the bedroom I suddenly have to go to the bathroom very quickly and I hold my hands in front of my crotch. I pass by the original bathroom but go to the large one a bit further down the hallway. From the corner of my eye I see the two people awake to my left, the door to the living room is open. They are also making ready to go to sleep.
I enter the bathroom, am in a hurry, there is a large white bathtub across and I loosen and relax. All at once I start to ejaculate heavily and enormously. I can't believe it myself, but it looks like a good inner clean up. The first moment took me unawares and then I immediately aim in the tub with both my hands. But the first shot already is all over the place and sticky and I know it will leave stains, but I don't feel like cleaning it, so if mother says anything about it in the morning then that is that.
Meanwhile the other two are also in the bathroom and at the sink. Greenish atmosphere.
I have filled the whole bottom of the tub with my ejaculation. The weird thing is that it does not coincide with a wet dream. The ejaculation reminds me of the one in one of the scary movie movies, I think. And it was rather fluid.
Then the two behind me sympathize with me, but I don't know what to think of them. They are looking for a knife, one of them at least, he looks like one of those restaurant holders of pita bar. Maybe he is joking, they only have a comb, which is natural in a bathroom. A third one comes in. I don't know to feel embarrassed or threatened. Maybe a bit.

2. Museum Lift and Bedding

There is a dream where I had a date with the girl from the museum and I go to the museum, lots of people, toward evening. I go through the grand portal and enter. Some lecture may be going on, school children, busy. Red atmosphere, a bit dark. Steps up to enter. This portal is in the street where I met her.
Don't really remember how, but then I met her and she took me in the lift. We were on one of the top floors, but now we take the lift down, and this goes really fast, I can barely stand on my feet and am a bit frightened by it, by the speed. We are going down real fast. She has all control, this is where she works. We pass level 24, but go down to zero or even negative.
Then all the way down we go in a horizontal way a little further, this I had not expected, and it goes fast too, a little bit sf like. Still in the same lift. Garages, basement.
Some other things happen that I can't remember.
At last, later, we are back up somewhere and I am supposed to sleep in the hall, the floor is one big bed and these are many beds, all red, next to each other, like a checker board, and there is just one space left on the side where I am and this is where I have to lie down and sleep. I do that. All other spaces are occupied.
She comes lie with me and immediately starts to get on top of me, her legs and waist heavy. But I am not comfortable with so many people around me and they can see how she wants to make love with me, I am a little embarrassed, so I hold out. I don't get a stiff one, can't if it is rushed so and with so many eyes on me. Then after a while something changes and she is on top of me again, but I can't hold back and take her and see my own penis and how the foreskin moves back further and further almost as if my whole penis is skinned after a while, and I am thinking this is the farthest I have ever gone, but this does not seem good for my body so I hold back a bit.

Watchin Two Ships on the Water

1. Snakes

Maybe a dream about snakes, but I'm not sure.

2. Square Lake

At home, light, toward dinner time, kitchen, brothers are there. We are preparing food. All is on the table, and some things in the oven, which is open. We're busy, the kitchen is full. S is there too, possibly I. On the table is Vol-au-vent, and potatoes are in the oven.
Eventually our parents arrive, they are late. I fear mom will be mad about us using the kitchen, but I stand my ground.
Scene changes. War time, we are outside. The enemy is there. Behind us is a house, this is ours, we are now on this side of the house which is a different world. The other side of the house is the past, not now is a good idea to go there. We meet the enemy, they are three people, among which a young girl with long curly black hair and a guy my age or a bit older. They are the main ones. I meet them face on, they have more fear than me. When the confrontation is over, the girl lies on the floor, on the street. I know I have only one choice and that is to rape her. She expects it. I go toward her and she wears a jeans. I feel between her legs and I feel her pussy which is very wet. Though I have doubts about the wisdom of this, I know I'm left with no choice but entering. In fact, this makes something right, as if we are a couple now.
Then all of us go in the house, which is open as if there are no walls and you can see the other side, there are many people there. Stalls, like a market, selling fabrics and trinkets. Part of it is in the house. Most of it outside. They, the enemy persons, want to go outside, I have no intention to follow and stay in the mid-zone. I realize that the other side is the past.
Scene changes, we are outside, on the right side, we sit as if to watch a film, on a dike, there is a square lake, very big, lots of water. Four dikes around it. We all sit on one side. The girl is with me. We are about to watch a film. I wanted this. This was on my schedule, but no all the others are here with me and they don't have a clue about what is happening or will happen, because they have not seen the other two earlier parts. I briefly try to explain when the film starts. The film is what happens on the water. I fear it will make no sense to the others.
Close to where we sit are two boats, wooden both, one longer than the other, but both very big, and simple. And two people are there, in the water. They try to get in the boat, in one of the boats. One guy tries to get some long planks of wood in the ship, but I don't want that to happen. It never works.
At some point the big ship overturns and they're in the water. Then it takes the shape of a train. And then a train comes from behind us and we have to take care it does not overrun us, because we are almost sitting in that corner. They train passes. Another comes. We go down the slope. Now it is a meadow of grass, not water, and we run uphill. Another train tries to hit us. Then lots of people are on the green and run uphill. There is a giant, I see him aim his fist to hit, but also see he cannot see us or something so we don't have anything to fear. I run this way and that, but the orange giant hits the ground and I never stood in that place. Then again. Now it becomes harder to run uphill and I see another giant. This is about where the dream ends.

Dating Game

1. Preparing for the London Conference
(Wet dream)

There was talk about me visiting London, for which I was preparing, the February conference.
At some point I lie on the floor and Bale too, and she has her back to me and I am close to her, and the atmosphere is erotic, and when I approach her it is what she wants, and I am ready to enter, though I am still not sure. From behind, but when I make ready it is the front and I know I am so roused that I will immediately come, so I think I might as well kiss her at the same time. And I seem to have multiple penises. I am clumsy and I come. This is a wet dream. I wake after this.

Maybe in the same dream.
Dining room of parents, and people are gathered there and there is some dating game going on, and when it starts I am still ignorant of what it is, then a girl in red to my left, she has a lady friend with her, young both, calls my name, so that means I have to answer questions she asks me, in public. And she asks me what my worst personality trait is, and the situation becomes such that I answer: my analytic thinking, and everyone laughs because it suits the situation, which I forgot now.

2. Private Discussion

I am in the living room of parents, visiting Dive, this is a rare moment, because I have not seen him since a long time. Also, this place is meant for just the two of us, no one else knows of it, and thus the place becomes like a place between places, so it feels. But my colleague List is also there and therefore I don't talk to Dive, List thinks this is weird, but I can't talk with Dive as long as she is in the room. This takes a long time, after a while a topic comes up that suits me and I start talking too. Other things happen.

Queen City River

1. Two Lemonades

There is lemonade with bubbles and also something with bubbles like champagne or cava to drink. I think there were two lemonades.

2. Chick Peas Stew

There is a small kitchen. We are cooking. There are two main dishes. One is with chick peas. I have these in a kind of wok and add liquid, water, now and then to let them simmer and make it a stew. This is on the back fire, on the front fire, both to the right, is another pan, but I can't remember what. Though the food in the front pan is working much better. The chick peas don't seem to cook. When I finally take the chick peas off the fire, I put them in a glass bottle vessel to hold them. This is all in my apartment kitchen.
On the working tablet next to the fire are different glass bottles. One is empty and closest to me and this one I want to use for the chick peas, but there is another one that looks more or less the same and has honey in it. Because I don't pay attention well, I put the chick peas in the honey pot, and when I realize I curse myself, and the chick peas slowly sink to the bottom through the honey. The chick peas are still warm. I find I am clumsy, but then I leave things as they are because I can't change it now. And after that I am thinking that it might actually be nice to have chick peas with honey, might not be bad at all.
All the way through the dream I feel uneasy because I expect someone, also the person or being I expect is a force opposing me. He never comes, but I feel the pressure of his near presence on my actions, and I am aware all the time. When this being comes I know I won't be ready. That is why I am a bit uncomfortable.

3. Mother and Child

Something about a mother and child and food. This was a dream before the other two.

4. Twin Pool and Istanbul

We're at a swimming pool. It is a double one because where we enter is one, but this one is not used, and there is another one to the right, a door leads there, and this one is used. We are the only group present, and it takes an awfully long time before anyone takes a jump to swim. I stay at the left pool, but Stco is here and he is happy to go swimming and he goes to the right one and is in his swimming suit and cares not what the others think.
I don't feel like swimming at all.
The pool complex is underground. There is a young lady who is a teacher and she organized this, got us all here. I know most people. Everyone does as he or she likes. The lady has blond hair and is a bit too strict, so the others don't really allow her to mix with them, but I keep my distance at everything that happens too. They are all friends.
All those who don't swim stay to the left, standing, nothing happens, this is really boring.
There is something about seven books, when this is mentioned, my interest peeks and things get a bit more interesting, but it is not why we are here. Anyway, the change of topic makes me alive again. (I can't read my notes here). Something about right pool something something, also there is more light than at the left pool, and something about wanting to see her something something. And she comes to get me (but I can't remember the context).
The lady teacher is rather bright and active. I suppose she comes and get me, but I can't remember the context.
Then she makes her move and quickly leaves the pool, I see it happen. I know she will leave all of us behind. I know she will try to close the door and go off on her own. I don't let her. That is, I follow immediately when I see her take off, and I see the shutter behind the door go down already but I am quick enough behind her so that I am out of the pools with her. The rest of them stay behind. The ones at the left pool are confused, the ones to the right don't know anything yet.
Then the lady teacher goes to the cabin or head quarters adjacent to the left pool, this is an office, and there is a large window that looks out to the pool, in fact, to the right too is a large window so you see the hallway. I know she wants to close off everything, but things happen very slowly. She wants to shut herself in in this office. But I am still behind her and am in the office as well. This is the control room. She should have closed the door in the hallway, but did not. The door of the office is shut and locked.
The next moment I hold her and things turn into sex.

Then the scene changes and I am outside in a city and running away, as if fleeing from somewhere, I am alone. I want to get away from where I am. I know the streets. I am in Istanbul.
I go over the something something (can't read). Streets. At some point I have my bicycle with me, there is a wide road made of different lanes, this is quite complex, this is too my left. Large buildings on the sides, and to the back of it there is a high wall. I see Turks sit on the sides. I take this road, and this might have been a change of thought, because I was heading straight through.
At the end of the lanes is the wall, but many Turks sit here and they smoke water pipe and have the kind of clothes you expect. There are stairs to the right that go up, and I think that is my best option, because the road does not continue here, it starts here and goes to where I come from, more or less, so I go up the stairs, which leads me through a series of small buildings and archways and maybe small shops, and I quickly get lost. I don't really know where I am.

Finally I go through a gate, and when I do that I am suddenly outside in the old part of the city, as if I have crossed a border. The border is more real than I thought, and now I can't return to the core of the city. I am excluded. Once you cross that border you can't reenter. I am shut out. I find that troublesome, but I am left with no other option than to follow the border to my left, which is in the form of a small wall. It is more light here, and you really are outside, though before it was like in the night and perhaps covered. The pavement is alongside a modern road, this place is much higher up than where I come from. You have a good view and see the city, but the feeling of being excluded of it is not nice. I try to do my best to find a way to reenter. As long as you are in you have the choice of being in the two worlds. I don't have that choice now.
I follow the street and the wall, and a bit further I see houses and the first house I somehow recognize, and I know who lives there, though I have never actually met the person or been here at all.
To my left you see the deep, and there is a big river, water swelling, full. The river is really really wide, and goes in cataracts down and seems to enter into the centre of the city. I don't see well from here how that works though. The water is churning and moving, and goes downstream, flows. Mighty river. I know the name of the river is Tesaract, not Cataract, and she is a queen. This is an amazing sight. I know the river is a living being. And intelligent. It flows towards the city.
I keep walking and find the house, which is white and has a strange construction, funny building, larger on top than below, and looks out over the water and I know an Englishman lives here and he used to be a writer and he had a lot of contact with the inner world once, but since many years he has been banned or excluded from it and lives here ever hoping to return, but I know he might just be my only solution to get in again. I know what he looks like before I see him, and he has a bushy curly hair cut, rather long, he is not yet fifty I think.
I go to the front, I see a door and windows, and stairs, all in white. Not a clean white though.
I see him come down the stairs inside, through the window, and I know he will come and open the door for me, even if I have not announced my self or rang the bell. When he opens the door we exchange a few words of greeting, but he is not interested. Then I tell him I know who he is: are you the writer Rob Robin (I don't remember the name exactly, but it was something like that). The name was on the door bell, but I had expected another surname. He is surprised when I tell him I know he is a writer, and he keeps from shutting the door and lets me in and says we should talk. 
Inside he explains that the sultan, who governs the city has some kind of rule about banishment. Something about six years, I can't remember now. Something about having inherited enough, maybe this is about me. Something about father and son. I think there is a woman living here as well, and the son is his, maybe eight years old, can't really say. Something about in the future. Something about the water, too.
At some point I see the water as it is and more like a lake that churns and moves all the time.
I know I will have to go in the stream. I don't know if this is a real part of the dream, because it might have ended in the house of the English writer, but I remember thinking about the entities living in the water, and I am in the water too, quite deep, too, and that I should be prepared and be able to know who is who in the water, because they will test me. There is not just the queen, but her three daughters as well, and I know their names in the dream, especially of the eldest, something with a's, but I can't remember now. And lower in the hierarchy is a bunch of water beings called Mercuries, and I am sure I will meet them all, or they might even come and help me.

+5. Vampirism

Hypnagogic dream or whatever.
Table, reminds me of Loving Hut restaurant. Bale on my right, I am on the left. Re is across of me, other people there, possibly Elbe and Rume. At some point I want to get up and get something or do something else, leave the table, and just at that moment I hear Re speak about his troubles with Bale, and they sound very similar as what I went through with her. So I don't leave, but out of politeness I stay, though I say nothing, but I am a bit worried that this happens to Re as well. He explains in detail, long time.

Taiji Park

1. Quiet Day

House of Phpa, day, me alone, maybe Phpa there too, morning maybe. Front yard. Not much happening, all the time. Quiet dream.
After this dream I had another dream, but I cannot remember it now.

2. Good Position

Sex. Inside, light, few people. A girl in front of me, sits on the floor, so me too. We get ourselves into a good position, but we never really have sex, this is as if we prepare ourselves and try to get in the best of conditions. So I have an erection and sit in such a way that I am in a good position.

3. Pagan Taiji Class

Maybe in Phpa his house as well. Back of the house, training taiji, this is in a garden somewhere, away from the city in fact. There is a gate in front, then the lawn and we train in the upper half of it, no one behind us, then the end of the park there is also something like a gate and a parking lot beyond that and then the access to the terrain.
So we are on our own, which is good for practice, one person in front leads, and a handful of us follow class, this is some kind of improvised class, and I am one of the more experienced people. Maybe we do Needle in the Ocean, but we also do the kicks in section three of the long form. To my right is a lady with a lot less experience and she asks my help, which I give. She has got short blond curly hair and is older than me.
Later I see a plan of the park or I visualize it or I have the plan in my hands and I see the lay out of the terrain. The gate in front of us is a goal for playing football, and the lines are marked in white. I think I show it to the lady and some others near me. By that time it is clear I can lead and help them all.
Later still we are inside, this is in the back of the house, having a break from the strenuous training. There are about a dozen people, the small place is packed, all chairs around the table are taken, and people sit on the window sills and so on. The whole atmosphere and talk among the people is as if I have just given a very good workshop and I am in the centre of attention. I am at the table, by the inside door, not far from it. I recognize a lot of people, and although this feels like a pagan gathering, I see faces from taiji as well, from the European school, maybe Resc.
All of a sudden Lica is also there, and I had not expected her, we are in the same taiji group. All of us have a drink. There is discussion. I cannot remember the rest.

Jade Rings

1. Areas of Water

Something about Dore, maybe she was there.
Different people present, I am the leader, because no one else wants to take the lead.
Then we arrive at the water, dark, outside, like a lake, this body of water has different areas, with different waters, and they have different qualities. (Reminded me of Life of Pi film).
When I am in the water I choose carefully which water I want to be in, strategically. I choose the brightest spots, with clear deep blue water, like the ocean. The water is like the ocean, and I want the clearest. In the dream I know that this is because of a certain kind of fish in that area, they keep the water blue, slim, small, school.
For me it has been a long time since I've been in the water, and that is why I want to something something. But my friends advise me not to go to the dangerous areas. Regardless of what they say I go to whichever area I like and make these decisions myself, but they happen to be the harmless ones. I go to the bright spots, and I avoid the dark ones. Shades and colours of water.
Later we are inside, and upstairs, and there is also water, maybe a swimming pool and we go swim there. 
In the house I bump into Mr Vdng. Something about a message I sent. Maybe something about taiji.
We go from room to room. Someone is happy because I have informed her. I can't remember about what.
Something about soup.

2. Monolith Stay Out

Outside, gravel, back of a house, looks like a ruin, not many people are here, we are here to investigate, or I am here because other people I am with are here. Day. There is a rock or tall standing stone in the back yard, but all is stone. It looks like a monolith, but not smooth, and this may be a quarry in fact. Yellowish colour.
Back is the house we came from, and in front is another house. This place is owned by other people, and we are visiting, and maybe we have to be careful. I am vigilant at all times.
At some point inside, on an upper floor, something something.
Later, inside, dark, people come together and I already see what this is about, but the man, one of those who live here, is explaining what we are about to do. I don't trust him at all. They were busy when I entered, but I join anyway, because I was supposed to and because I know what to do before this person gives explanations. He feels like an alien.
Everyone has rings on their fingers, most are men, most rings are jade. The person speaking has many on his fingers, different sizes. I take off one ring that I know and show it and put it in my mouth, and slowly I feel how it melts, after some time there is not much left of the ring, but it is still in my mouth and the rest will not melt away, because I don't want it.
There is a second ring, and this one I keep for myself (or maybe the first ring I put on my fingers and the other one I eat). The other ring is being auctioned. 
This one person who is like a boss sees me stealing one of those rings.
Later after a while I take out the leftovers of the ring from my mouth.

At some point outside, day, there are two teachers from where I went to school, this place looks like the park in Herent, and they walk hand in hand, many people are in the park, it is not really the park but reminds me of it, I am there in the corner, but in the park nonetheless, when I see them coming, they approach and try not to be bothered. One of them is a sports teacher, and when they are too close they let go of each other, because he does not want people to know they are gay. They keep going and go wherever they need to be.

Earlier in the dream, something about sleeping, staying over somewhere. Something with the curtains. This is in a big house, and on the upper floor, we take one side of the house, and the windows are big. And I know on the other side of the house on this same floor are private quarters but we are not allowed there and I don't want to go there anyway. But the people who are with me don't know and think that this one room is all there is, but it is big enough, like a ballroom, but more like a living room with furniture and so on. There is a small electric fire somewhere which is burning and I think that it is no use for such a big room, and there should be a normal radiator too.
Only later I hear people on the other side and know there is a midnight party going on on the other side of the door. I can almost see the people.
I was not alone in the room, other people stayed here with me, and there must also have been a person from the house showing us around.
At some point in I don't know which dream we are outside again and it is time to make food, and I think we are supposed to make it ourselves, and there is a kitchen, across the gravel yard, so this is still in the same area. I am eager to start cooking, even if I would rather have that other people made food for me. I see all kinds of things in the kitchen. The kitchen is one room you enter, some steps up and then a small cooking area. There is an Asian lady working already, she is making food for us. There are chicken legs, and curries. And there is yoghurt and lamb, and all kinds of oil, and I watch the lady work, and I ask her also what oil she is using, while I already see what it is, or I guess it, it is peanut oil.

3. Hair Bands

Fragments. At some point in a dream I am wearing hair bands, black and many, on my left wrist, and this was possibly in dream 2 in the fragment with the jade rings.
There is a fragment of dream where I touch my dick and also have a towel and I suppose I sit down and I don't really want to come, but there is much ejaculation coming out.

4. Food Checks

Last dream. I sit across Licu, table, too big for us, inside but public area, greys, like this is some kind of basement. I still owe her money, we talk and then try to settle the debts and I give her my checks (maaltijdcheques). In order to get things right and balanced she reasons she has to give me hers, and she has many and I believe she wants to give me as many to me as I give to her in relation to the amount she has, and I have. And she keeps giving, and I think it is too much, hers are 36 euro per check, and she gives too many but I cannot but accept.

In Bed

1. Sleeping with Bale

I am on my own somewhere.
Then it is late, evening or night, Bale is in the neigbourhood, we had this arranged, upper floor, large bedroom, just we too, though before there were more people, and they must be somewhere around, but not near us.
I don't know how it happens, but Bale and me start to have sex. If I remember correctly, it started out a bit shy, and then there were no real obstacles, and we were in the bed (which I remember of other dreams, regarding Inro), and the bed is rather large too. Warm colours. We share the bed and I am thinking that now it happens though I had not expected it anymore.
I go in her at least twice, I mean two turns. And then I realize I am having sex, and all is going very well, and I also realize and maybe say that it has been twelve years since it happened. I meant to say that it is since such a long time that I have had sex, but for her it is different. I said that out loud. She has a lover at the moment, and is happy.
Now I read my notes: at first we were not really having sex but lying on the bed very close and this felt intimate. I slept because I needed to, but she was okay with it and me too, but it slowly turned into sex, that is what happened. And it also her bed.
Halfway through the session I am starting to panic a little. This is because I am starting to wake up and lying down I am looking in front of me, white sheets, she beside me, on the right, or beneath me or wherever, but I see an orange in front of me, actually a mandarin. I take hold of it. I have doubts for some time, then decide to penetrate this piece of fruit anyway and it is the best ever. Juicy and it kind of splatters when I do it and I realize that this fruit was meant to be penetrated. At first I was wary about penetrating a mandarin, but it was the right thing to do.
Then the people who were present come back into view or they reenter, these are all friends, like Elbe and Ande. And they all have things to say about us, and I feel rather unsure all of a sudden, but they don't mean harm, and I don't really now what they think or what they know about Bale and me.
Something about a stage play. And something about smells. Someone said the word 'geuren' smells, one of those friends, and I smelled it for real.

2. Cornflakes

Last part of a dream in which I have to resent the clock, it is 18 o'clock, which is 6pm. Digital I suppose.
Something about eating an omelet, and helping doing the dishes, to be polite. Mo (of zonnekompas) is there and she says something about mugwort (?).
Earlier in the dream I was at home and mom and dad are gone. Perhaps this was after the sex session of the earlier dream, in that case both dreams happened in the same REM phase. My father then asks me whether I would like cornflakes. We are in the car? I remember thinking that I don't eat cornflakes but I said yes anyway because I know I might find myself in a situation soon enough where I have nothing else to eat.
I look up when we are in the veranda, there is something with the roof, a normal roof on top of the glass one. 
Something about the sand playground too, this must be closed maybe.
Something about camping.

3. I am the Only One Seeing the Animal

I remember seeing an animal, this must have been in the house of parents, and I was the only one seeing it. And I'm not sure what it was, not really a marten, because this one was bigger and had other colours, more like a badger, but it wasn't really like that either, wrong kind of face.
I see it in the garden as well. Three times.

Remember My Dreams

1. Torn Key

Street of parents, nightfall, still light, quality colours. We were all at the end of the street, maybe at Stco's. Now, my brother N and I go back home, but parents are still there. So my brother and me come home and the house is closed. I have a key or there is a key on the door and I open it, this one I turn is so soft that it starts to tear, so I stop. And the lock itself was tearing as well. So it is broken anyway.
There were other keys and locks I opened, other doors.

2. Sex Session

Inside a house with many people who more or less know each other. Not very light. The ground floor is divided in different section, each on a different level, like terraces. Up on the right is a kitchen area but I don't go there. The living room is the middle in front and the lower one on the left. And behind is something like a separation and other areas are behind that that I can't remember being there, but more people are there. This is some kind of get together.
At some point towards the end of maybe the weekend I lie down on the floor of the middle living room, to the left side, and with somebody, a woman I recognize as Rigr. Other people have sex or had sex already, and people are pairing up, especially the girls are active this time. And there is some meaning or purpose in this, and I go with the flow, which is why I am on the floor, without understanding all of it, while the girls around me know the whole context. I think even one or two or watching us and giving remarks.
It is very slow and I don't know what I should do, but we undress ourselves lying there, and still I'm not sure about the whole thing, also neither of us is really excited. She is not very wet, and my member not all the way ready. I touch her pussy to feel if she is ready, and there is some wetness, but not in the right places. I put my finger in her, and she likes that and she actually thinks that I enter her, but I did not even know I was allowed, but I know it now. This is when there is more interference from the onlookers, and some have sex of their own. She says that she did not expect it to be hard, but of course it was not, and her remark made sense since all the earlier sessions with other girls and boys were the same and the idea is like this that it never works like that if you do a quick one on the spot with a stranger, it will never work.
After that I realize I am lying with someone else. And after that with another still, but this third time for sure is a man, also someone I know, but can't remember who. But we were already finishing and he gets up and goes away to the right.
That is the end of the dream as far as I can remember, but before there might have been a fragment with a bathroom., too.

3.  Dream Memory Substitute

I come home or it is time to work, but I am in the kitchen of my parents which is part of the shop, so more open and spacious. I sit down at my regular place and there is a computer there on the table. And Keva is in the neighbourhood, and he is exactly the person I was looking for, because I have been away for the night or the night and the day, and had asked him to watch my dreams, and now he is there and I ask him. And he says, yes yes I remember your dreams, and I see the piece of paper empty, which means that he did not take any notes and I am angry with him and I tell him. This is a red piece of paper, maybe a quarter of a normal sheet.
He stands to my right, but remains cheerful and says something, like he had a dream about two windows and it was very bright, and I recognize the dream as my own, because it is exactly what I dreamed, and I tell him, and he continues, saying something like 'do you remember you swung your sword' and I do because I had  just dreamed it and it is totally weird that he remembers my dreams. This was an experiment, but apparently it works. The sword was a katana, an in my own dream it got longer when I swung it once, towards the window, this in an upstairs apartment room with not much space. So I found a slight difference, but I am still amazed. Everything he said he remembered was just the same as I dreamed myself.
And he says he would like to see my report, but I don't want to do that because there is some personal stuff in it too, that he does not know, such as the sex in the earlier dream, which I also remembered, but he must have remembered it in a slightly different way. And I am still mad at him.
I have the red paper in my hands and want to begin typing.
Later we are really in the shop, but Keva is no longer here and I have to take over his work. I am in one particular place in the shop, right side, but very small, long. Shelves on the right. Stuff is on the shelves that should not be there, so Keva left me with a lot of work, for which I am not thankful.
First on the left side of the shelves, then in the middle. Can't remember the details but I did a lot of things. Other people were in the neighbourhood, which made it more difficult, because there really was not much room.

4. Window

Dream starts when I wake up and sit up on a large table which before was my bed and I have breakfast and I look out to the street which is the Naamsestraat, the left side if you come from the centre.
The window is open, but in this case that means the whole wall on the street side is open, because the window stretches from one side to the other, and the view is amazing, though just the street. I am high enough and not ground level. Then I see people's heads, which means that my apartment or room is not very high above ground level, but maybe only something between one or two meters. And from across the street I see three Chinese people, a woman, a girl, and someone else, leave a shop which reminds me of the music shop near Stuk. And the young girl sees me, crosses the street, wears something light green, and comes towards to verify if she can really see inside the house. Much light. I am not sure what to think of it, I was not prepared for it but I'm not going to close the windows just because of that. So I let her look, but there is no interaction, when she is at the house she can barely see over the top, which is my floor.
But after that there is more openness, and other people look inside. There is one family in particular that I guess are Dutchmen. A family, man, woman, boy, girl. The boy is the youngest and still small, but can walk and has a toy in his hand, he is very curious and climbs over the wall to that he comes in on my floor, because my windows are also the whole length from floor to ceiling. And he comes in some way.
The father is not very happy about it and comes nearer, he is tall, and apologizes to me, and I say it is okay, but he wants to get his son back and therefore comes in too. Then the whole family follows and I am still at breakfast, not dressed at all. In the meantime the boy is behind me.
What the people in the street look at in fact is the painting I have hanging behind me, and I know that. This is the wide piece of cloth I have hanging in my apartment, with the two dragons, the red and the yellow. The son gives some comments about it, did that before.
I want to get up and get the boy, but the father stops me. Just as well, because I am stark naked, which I realize then. The family once entered will go out the back, which is of course the normal way. I watch them go through the door. And maybe I walk a little with them. Of course the family is quick to leave, but the boy stays behind, playful, and rather comfortable being here. And in the hall, which is still my apartment, because this is right behind my room, and on the right is the door and the stairs, he starts to dance. And he does that very well, which I did not expect from such a small boy.
Not long after the dream ends, but I can't remember well how. This was the very last dream, possibly already 9am.

+ 5. Black Tourmaline

Stones, black tourmalin, and others, arranged throughout the otherwise empty house, different rooms and grey light, only ground floor, hosted by a man. Arranged in three to five stones, window sill, tables, floor. Other crystals too, maybe just rock crystal. I am amazed to see so many stones at once in a house. But the host keeps the stones here.

Crystal Workshop

1. Entering Dusk

I am on a secret mission to outsmart the enemy. I'm not alone but with three or four others, in a car, outside.
When we pack, I pack my badminton racket, this we do inside. One of the younger fellows follows my example and packs his racket, but the seniors don't and when I am thinking more rationally, I can't see anymore why I want to take the racket. I want to take many other things. At first my paper shopping bag, as if for clothes, is empty, but one thing after another I put in it, not so many, because it still looks empty when I put the racket in it, I leave it in it.
I am the leader of this gang.
Later inside, home is house of parents, mother is there, there are books everywhere, like a library, with many floors, the upstairs floor, though I don't come there I can see it, it is full of bookshelves, light. I am looking for a particular book. But no one can know I am reading it, since it is forbidden. Some book, too, about the planet Earth. And in fact, the beginning of the dream was SF, though I can't remember it.
Downstairs with mother, it is time for her evening nap and I am about to go outside, I better, so I don't bother her. But all the time before I leave I need to check on something with her and ask her this or that, and she must answer so that I involuntarily prevent that she can go and take a nap, this is either in the kitchen or in the dining room. So I interrupt her every time.
Now I leave, and in the kitchen already I see the outside skies, which have turned from day to a soft rosy colour, and now when I am going outside it becomes dusk. And in the dream the whole while with my mother I see these colours change so I know that time is passing. It is almost dark when I go out, but not yet completely.
Now I go outside peace comes over me, and I know my dad will soon arrive from work.
When I am in the garage, which I have to pass to go outside, there are others there and I decide to play with them, they must be playing games. I stay close to the kitchen door, and by the drawer in the neighbourhood I kneel and I have a paper with example colours, rather artisty, and I need those colours to label things, though I can't remember what. Moreover, when I focus on this job, I am not aware of any other people anymore. And I start with cutting out the top colour, which is a patch of orange no bigger than my the top section of my pinky. I can choose my favourite colours myself. This is the end of that fragment.

But I think the dream continues.
I'm suddenly involved in some Japanese ritual, with three others, I only participate a little, and not fully focused, I am not supposed to be here. Because I am not something something (can't read).
Three people, among which me stand in three of the four corners, I think the west is missing (but might be north), I am in the east (south), and one person is in the centre turning to each of us and doing the actual rite, and I think she is happy I join, even if I don't actively participate, because it would be more difficult still with one person less to represent the quarters. And she is a mature woman, with long brown hair, I seem to know her from somewhere. At the end of it, she turns to everyone and gives each a kiss, then she comes to me and I know what is coming because I know the ritual, though I'm not sure whether it is appropriate for me to kiss her on the lips, but she does it for me, and I say a formula: luwatuwa (which is my rational mind waking up), because I heard the other people say something like a closing formula, but different, I pick this formula because it is personal and because it expresses my bond to the Northern tradition, even if this is a Japanese ritual. The other two are not happy I am participating and not happy that I say those words, but I don't think they understand the meaning. All the time rather dark, dusk.
After that I go back inside.

2. Apples, Steel Hammer and Rails

Something I can't read.
Then SF film, recommended by my brother N. I want to watch it. I want the others to watch it with me, so it takes a while.
In the dream, Bale is the wife of D, but there is a fragment of dream, where the situation is this that I will stay overnight with them, but I cannot but stay with them in the same bed, and she and I somewhat look forward to be naked next to each other and have some sex maybe, but later in the dream I think that if D will be there in the same bed, that will be rather awkward and I should not do it.
The bed is on the upper floor and the room is a small cabin within a larger room.
There is something that I am investigating.
At some point in the dream I am in a place that looks like the kitchen of my parents, and I have a bunch of fruit with me, maybe it was on the floor, but it was this that I came for, and there not only apples, but also tomatoes, which I think is normal. I get unsuspected help from my dad, who comes behind me and carries some fruit, or picks up what fell on the floor. Oranges too.
Something about poison, and notes I can't read.
Some later fragment somewhere else, ground floor, back side of building, open on one side like a hangar, but smaller, and an open gate to another room which is more private and has more things strewn about the floor, which is all mine. But the people entering are hostile and it is their place too, or maybe they claim this. (Can't read all of my notes).
When a confrontation happens, I tell them to hold on, step back into the back chamber with the metal treasures, and bring forth some sort of weird hammer, but it is completely made of iron and possibly used for smithing. I show them this, and it should put fear in them, because they are all armed and ready to fight.
And I take something else and from the chamber, though they stand in the big grey concrete hall, I demonstrate the power of the club and bring the hammer down on the anvil maybe, and smash it. It is a battle hammer.
And they want to occupy this place. (Can't read notes). There's a woman among them, and either she is the leader, or she has ears for me.
(Then fragment of apples maybe?).
Later in the same dream, I go to class on my bicycle, and this is in Herent, but a very different side than usual, by the Vaart, canal. There is a shorter way, but one of the women here does not believe me. The place we are in is lush, nature, we are on a height, the whole path is, but soon enough I realize that tracks run on this, of a train, and on the other side too. Country side on the left, and on the right are buildings and one street after the other leading into the centre, and we must take one of those, and I know a shortcut, and am trying to discern the right street, but this woman does not believe me and wants to go the conventional way, which is further up. Green grass.
Anyway it is difficult to get to the civilized part, because there are ditches. Other people are with us, and they leave it open whether there is a shortcut or not. I want to prove it and jump to the streets, but first I have to climb the tracks, and I don't even get over the first set of rails, which is a problem, because just when I decide to do that I see a train, locomotive only, come from my right, blue, and rather fluffy, but I think I will have plenty of time, and I also see the locomotive slow down. I'm crawling on my belly to get across it, and there will be a second track to cross and then a ditch to jump, but I can't do the first one at all, so after a while I give up and go back. There was nothing I could do about that. And I think everyone is relieved.
Later we all take the same route, normal route. Light.

3. Another Workshop on Crystals

Elbe is driving and I am in the car, she is taking me to the crystal workshop with Vebt. Highway, lucid. Or we happen to pass by the centre where Vebt gave her workshop and decide to stop. We don't go in in the front door but go by the windows to see whether anyone is there. And yes, we can see Vebt, and of course she can see us through the windows.
Then we enter on the right, via the windows and stay there in the corner. She is preparing for a workshop. We have a lot of papers or she hands out some to us, and we read it, then we are interested, and I have already decided to stay, even if it is on the background in the corner where I hope no one will see me, but Elbe would continue her own way, but after a while she decides to stay anyway, which surprises me, and she walks up to one of the chairs, black or dark, and sits down, she has a place among these people, and I do not, so I stay in the corner. A few others are here and I recognize all their faces from the workshop. And there are more men this time, and a lot more chairs than last time, but not all of them are occupied yet because it is still very early.
After a short while I decide to join and claim a chair, and I see a good seat but the people around it change, and so I end up next to Elbe, which she might not want, since she might want to be there in her own right. Vebt started, but then leaves the room and it takes a very long time before she returns, and I don't think I see her return in the rest of the dream.
Krvh is also there, and I am surprised to see her, and thought I could have gone with her or I think maybe she is thinking that I should have asked her to get me here.
I sit myself in another chair, on the right. But she's given me ten euro, I don't know why, and I suppose I will be needing it, and later I think that this will be subtracted from the total price which I can now only imagine I will pay with a transfer.
Also someone who assists Vebt, now that she left, deals out boxes, we get two, those who are present, one big and one small, long. And they are open and I see metal bars and so on in it and I suspect this is something from Ikea, but I don't understand why. The girl dealing these out says that you can put the small box in the large one and that will be easier to carry, and although I don't need or want her help, she demonstrates with my boxes and I leave it at that.
I am now relaxed and view the room, behind me is the table and I see it is made ready to eat, with knives and forks and spoons, but they are only drawn on the table. And I also see people draw these, and the lines around the actual cutlery are so wide that the end result does not look very good, but you can still recognize the utensils in the line drawing.
When I turned, there was also a cat, young one, blue, and she wants my attention, at first it is not clear, though I understand immediately. But I have something in my hands, maybe reading something, so I can't give the cat attention, and I think I will do it later, because now I can't do both at the same time, and I cannot put aside my reading, because it is as if glued on my hands, but I don't care.
When the little cat starts to push my feet more with its head, the others see it, and I say something about it, but I am reading.
The radio is too loud at this point, and the text I am now reading, at the end, is about dreams, all blogs, and this is another sheet that Vebt let deal out, and I am not among it, which disappoints me, but on the other hand I couldn't reveal it anyway because it is too personal, not just for me but also for the people involved. 
Something else about the cat, because there is some sort of computer behind me and I type in Heliotrope Cat, and press enter one too many times and a bunch of them appears on the screen, which happened involuntarily, and an Egyptian sign that looks like Laguz, but is more round that ends it. But this is when I am already waking up. End of dream.

Blooded Twin Swords

1. Posting a Letter to Grandmother

Something about music and cd's, inside, but with sight to outside, maybe a shop, building like apartment block looking out to the street.
There is a boy with his father who only knows alternative music, but he does not know mainstream music. In the dream, only those two genres exist. And now the boy is confronted with normal music, because I buy both, or they play both kinds in the shop.
I say it is difficult to follow both genres.
Light in the shop, outside already dark, I go outside, following N and Bale, we are all going in the same direction, but on a different pace, I am the last one, Bale is a long way ahead. We go by bicycle. A&D are also somewhere in the dream.
I am wearing a pullover or many pullovers of Bale, but I also have my own pullovers with me, in a bag, like a clothing carrier bag, paper one, I carry these for when it gets cold. I had in mind to follow Bale close because I have her stuff in the bag, but now that she is out of sight, I leave it and stop and put the bag on the pavement. This is a lane, she has gone left. Street, then there are trees and then the pavement, lots of place. I am there with my cycle.
This reminds me of Holland, in particular The Hague, where my grandmother lived.

I prepare to follow, Bale long gone, so I stay where I am, at the side of the road, it is deep in the night, and everyone is sleeping. Very late.
Then I see someone, but I care not, maybe I should feel guilt or shame, because of the late hour still being awake, of because of being left behind, I don't remember.
I have a letter with me, and I think this is the right time to post it. It is already closed and stuck shut and addressed to my granny. But I need a stamp to send it, because I could put it in a mailbox rightaway, but I need a stamp first. I see on my right I see a post office. The pavement stays the same for some time toward it but then it opens up, no more trees, broad path, and houses, but a post office is among them. I go there.
I go in that direction, and I see a girl leave that building and incidentally coming my way. I assume she works there so I will go to her. I recognize her, since she is a girl that works in the pasta bar. Dark skin.
We meet halfway and I ask her if she has stamps.
She goes back to the office and I follow behind from a distance. She returns with three stamps and tells me that if you buy three you get a discount. It seems I can't ask for one only. At this point the dream is rather blurry. Fact is that I don't know how much I should pay, because she assumes I can calculate with her announcement of the discount how much it will be, since I do know how much one costs. But I can't do it. After some time she helps me, thoroughly, she makes the calculations out loud so that I can follow, saying one stamp is that much, three is that much, the discount works like this, distract that amount of that amount and this is the price you get. But because the dream is vague at this point, I can't actually understand what she says. I pay anyway, too much, so that I am sure, and I will get change. She puts my coins in her drawer with all the coins, maybe this is inside, but I think we are still half outside.
She gives back the wrong change, and I point this out, however unsure I am, and I take the right one out of her cash drawer, a fifty cent coin, which I gave her in the first place. Then she gives me back her fifty cent coin, that she changed wrongly, and after some doubt I accept it, she does not disagree. Her cash drawer is full of 50 cent coins. Light in the shop. If I can calculate well, now I will have more change than I should have got, but I keep it.
Then I start to go back to the hotel, which was the first building. And I have the letter in my hand at all times, feels thick, as if a long letter, the stamp is already on it, on the envelope.
At the other side of the street I see walking the other way an older man who looks Asian, has glasses and he looks a little familiar. When I get closer I think it must be my dad. I go to him, and only when I am very close is it really my dad.
I am surprised he is still awake and I suspect he wanted some loneliness or being alone and thought could find his peace in the wee hours of the night, and now I am here. I tell him about the letter and what I am up to, but he says that we will leave in the morning, which is Sunday morning, and that we will have no time to post the letter. I am a bit disappointed because I was looking forward to another day of Holland.
When I go inside the hotel again, I am regretting that I wrote something on the outside of the envelope, because everyone will be able to read it, and it started well, but it is not finished, and I can't find the original words or thought and now I try to make a sensible phrase or expression from it, but it does not work, it reads like "I was glad beating you, will beat etc.." But it is not a whole sentence, but "beat" or "beating" is certainly in it. Somehow in the dream my thinking associates this with Aegir.
When I enter the hotel I take a side entrance, someone else is coming outside of the hotel too, and uses this door, I think, because the main doors are broken up, they are working here. You can still pass though, but the door on the side, left, is open and this is easier.
When I am inside I see Ancl, who is busy solving puzzles, crosswords and so on. But I had seen her earlier in the dream too.
This is about where the dream ends.

(First recording of the night).

2. Seascape Map

Long story, but I remember only fragments.
Night, Holland, coming together, I wear a t-shirt only, maybe underpants, white t-shirt with design, no pants, naked.
Something about ships? And I see a map of the coast and someone tells me about the history of the names of places underwater, the hills have names from the time when it was overground, or because ships with that name or captain sank to the bottom and became these places. The sea bottom is green and sandy. Fortresses on the coast map. South Dutch sea.
I am at home with medication, first one package, but soon four, I think my dad reminds me of the other ones or at least one other. I want to leave, I can't sleep.
I got a sudden energy boost from two guests (?) and this was applied directly on the body, they pointed to my chest or something, I can't remember well, but I had a reaction and this was that energy that was locked up in my body was suddenly released and available. Home is house of parents.
I prepare myself to go. Something about the computer. My dad is awake and rises, what shall I do now?

3. Female Enemy Kills Herself

Maybe the same dream.
In the night, outside, I am pursuing the guilty person, I am on a mission and I carry weapons. I go about my business with two swords, me alone. Two katana. Then I find the woman I was looking for and this is in a park at night, and she is a member of a group of women, but I pursue her and drive her into a corner and assault her because she is guilty of something.
This happens twice, the first time was somewhere else with those two katana, but I can't remember it. Then this second time I am holding two Congolese swords, my own two, they differ from each other, and I hold them well, which is strangely unusual.
When I confront her, she stands still and goes before me unafraid, because she knows she is caught now and lost. The only thing she can do is prevent me of cutting her, and she tries to convince me. She is naked in a way that she has not even skin and I see all her red muscles of her body. And this somewhat prevents me of cutting her. She challenged me by saying which muscles I should cut, I look at the muscles of her chest. I don't listen to her, shut my ears in a way.
Because I feel I can't cut her muscles, when she is done explaining, I tell her that I would rather slit an artery. In my opinion that would be clean and she would die a better death. She does not agree and attacks me. I defend myself and counter. I stab her, wound her, more than once, and with both swords, because I carry one in my left hand and the other in my right hand. And she bleeds.
Then she is completely desperate, although I haven't killed her or pained her seriously, but she again realizes she can't win, and with two hands she takes her own sword and puts the point on the centre of her chest, and until that moment I don't know what will happen, but now she stabs herself, and the blade sinks deep and easy into her body, while she has a normal body by this time, and kills herself.
I am upset about it and shocked, and this is not at all what I wanted. But I go away.
Chve is the first person I meet underway and tell her what happened, because she is a police agent. There are other people in the near who are her colleagues. But I want to talk to her alone and this works.
Then there is nothing left for me to do except going to my brothers and tell them the news. I go to the place where I met them last, which is the place where I started. I enter from the backside, large hall, empty but for the table on the other end where my two brothers are eating, the table is too long for only them. And the first part of the hall, which is where I enter and which is higher is completely empty.
I am somewhat surprised they are still eating, because it is late in the night and that means that all this time they have been eating here, non stop. I would have expected them to be asleep, both of them. But I go to them and show them the swords, blooded, red on metal.
I don't say a word because I have no words, only a small sense of victory may be present, but what is more that I have no the feeling that there is a real end made to a long chapter of life. I pass the table on the right, look at my brothers. I lay down the swords on the table, near them so they can see, but not between them, so they can still eat. And I continue my walk and go to the end of the room where I step outside through the French windows and enter the cool night outside.
Outside it is dark and there is grass because of the lawn, enclosed garden, and I somehow hope there is water so I can wash my hands. I think by myself ironically, wash them in innocence. But although it might have rained there is no water. Yet I kneel, and then there are patches of snow on the lawn and I take some dirty snow in my hands and wash my hands in this.
When I am there I also find something something (can't read notes).
But I go back inside and give my report, explain. End of dream.

(Second recording of the night).

4. School Project

Backyard of parents, lots of school children about, all in small groups of boys and small groups of girls. The situation was a bit more complex because I think the dream started elsewhere and explained the presence of these kids, adolescents, teens.
I in particular am in search of one particular girl, although I don't know who.
From when the dream becomes a little more lucid, I remember a Chinese student who goes to sleep but also hopes for a date. The street outside is dark, but I remember earlier in the dream we passed there and there must have been some discussion about girls and dating. Now it is night, the students goes to bed, which is a half open corner in a hangar, sofa, all red, on the three sides, and on his left and on his right are the same kind of boxes that serve as student housing. On the left is a couple. Yet when the girl enters which the Chinese student hopes for goes to this first box first and enjoys herself with the man of the couple. When she is done, she packs her stuff from the floor where she put her things and then goes to the next box, which is that of the Chinese student.

Other scene, by day, maybe next day, light, house of parents. School kids.
I am part of no group but must go through the same things as the others, which is, to make an end project, and to have interest in girls. And maybe I am part of the organization.
Taiji is being given at some point, inside, light, and I go in, through the veranda, class is already halfway, I can't remember whether I joined. But I learn what can be learned and follow this class and I see one girl who stays behind and is on her own, and at that point she looks nice, she dresses extravagant, she is rather small, stands out, but keeps to the background. She is rather good at taiji.
I am new to the style of taiji.
I remember that when I am back in the garden with some school teenager friends, these friends point out to me that this girl is also here and she is practicing taiji, and I think the way she performs is really beautiful. And I consider going over and asking her about it, she interests me, but at that point she is not good looking anymore. And I don't know what to do.
At some point in the dream there is also individual training going on and I have to go back inside for this, but I go for personal reasons and don't want to be disturbed by others at all. It is the same feeling as when you have to take a leak, and maybe I am actually going to the toilets. But at the same time it is sunbathing, in those machines. And after a while another man enters and joins and says to me: finally there is some room. Which means that he tried earlier, in an earlier session and that it must have been crowded then, but at that time I was not here in the complex or not aware of it.
He needs to do this thing for health reasons, and I wondered why an old man like him would be here among students and do something like this, but he really needs it and I forgive him. This shows after his session, when he is able to move a little freer. His body is so stiff, his muscles are so stiff otherwise that he can barely move, and he must be in pain. Also sweat.
Outside in the garden, group of boys, this is the moment I described earlier, about the taiji girl. One of these boys has found his girl.
Towards the end of the dream I go back to the terrace, and feel better here, more beauties are here, and I spotted a group of them some time ago, among which is one girl that I recognize, because she comes in the shop now and then. All of them have long hair, either light brown or blond. And there is a contraption that looks like a bunk bed, in the middle of the terrace, and I go on top, the bed is only the wooden skeleton, so I can peek through the planks, which I do. And this one girl is underneath, she has not seen me, but when she moves to the other side of her bed and I can't see her well, I ask her to move back and this she does, so she is rather compliant and sweet.
After a while her friends come back and they are a little wary.
By now it is clear that everyone present, as a student, must contribute a project. The girls were busy here in the neighbourhood and I look at what they made, something with bicycles. At that point I am no longer in the bed, moreover, the bed is gone, and I am at the side, and watching them with their project, and I tell them what it is. Three bikes, among which my own, which is why I look and am interested, because I never gave permission to do that. But I like how these bikes are fitted into each other, as if a puzzle, and this I tell them and they are surprised that I can tell what it is they are making, because it is far from finished, and I explain that I see a parallel with what I used to do with lego when I was a kid, but that they don't understand.
A little later their project is both 3D and 2D, because the bikes are standing on a picture, and a long drawing is made on the floor, and goes on the side of the house, and also has meaning, maybe originally as a race track, but it is no longer, geometric and interdimensional. This is a grid. Other people come and take a look. (Can't read notes here).
Some scene I can't remember, but anyway, people gather, teachers are there, all around this grid, teachers on the end side, we with the boy who is going to give details on the beginning side. And he explains how this is a diagram of forces and energy, and he demonstrates with blue and green balls that move across the grid and fall in different places marked, but although it is clear to me then, I miss some core explanation about it and I can't put it in words either.
I ask no questions, but I go inside, which is in the garage, through the door, because that is more or less where I was standing then. There my attention is immediately called by a text on runes that I had not heard of before or maybe I knew it but have always dismissed it because it is of a very late period or has no real link with the root of the tradition. Now people ask my advice, and I take the book, which is big, and I know who it is that wrote it, and maybe a German philosopher. The text is in Dutch or English and in columns. And the first rune I see is Uruz, and from there onward the text is about runes and I read it and understand it, this is information I have never came across before but it is relevant and important, just the kind of information I would like to know about the runes. Somehow it is a very mathematical approach, although I don't see it that way, I see it as magic. One rune starts the formula, and the others modify, add or distract aspects. After Uruz I read about two a-runes, each of them written differently, and I wonder what runes they are, because they are written in the Latin alphabet and not in runes. The runes are all represented by Latin characters, but marked bold in the text. And after a while it is as if some Medieval teacher is teaching me and he says, with his white beard flowing, and dark yellow pointy hat, that for example you start with f and add o and th, and this will be this or that kind of formula, but if you want to modify it in this way or that, then at this and this, and so on, so you see the formula gets longer, and soon enough you have 15 runes. And I think he means that 15 is the maximum. And I see a lot of examples on the page, still the same left page, and all of them start with the foth formula, these are notes in the book. And I understand some of the meanings, such as r, how it modifies the initial rune. But it was too much information to harness and remember.
This is a book of Faust. How do you forge a spell?
After that weird intermezzo I go back outside, because I want to know more about this diagram or grid that is drawn on the floor, because I don't fully understand it yet, in the dream, but I want to. Still, the boy is not able to explain the essence to me. And I like to try a demonstration myself, teachers are present, and I go to the beginning side and have a long reed through which I will push or blow energy, to move three balls, as marbles, but they are much bigger, in the right column. And I look for the centre of the first ball, which is difficult, because I am a long distance away, maybe two or three meters, and the reed is flexible. Then I push and the balls absorb the kinetic energy and go forward, all three of them. I don't think the experiment was intended for that, only the last one should move. And what's more, I am still working in one dimension, and I want to know how dimensions relate to each other and how the can influence each other. I'm still missing the point and no one can explain me, but I know that the diagram holds the secret. End of dream. End was rationalizing already, when I philosophized that balls could return or jump column by applied force.