Fish Shop

1. CD

Maybe I dreamed about my brother D, and cd's lying about. There was a cd by Tori Amos there, which I recognized, because I bought that one not long ago. (I was reminded of this fragment twice today, because the cd is lying about in my living room).

2. Fall On

There's a street, day, light, we are on the right side, but may have come from the other side. This is the shop, but partly open and stretched over two houses or sections. Now we are in the furthest one. The left side is completely open, no wall. There is a mattress, with blue, a big plastic one like they have in the gym to jump on. It is lying there, new acquisition. Maybe it was a piece of art before, now it just lies on the floor. Brva is there. We play: let yourself fall on the mattress. Quite fun, letting go. So she is lying down on the mattress, I fall and land next to her, my arms spread. She is on my right, my right hand or fist almost touches hers, I consider doing that but decide against it, she may not want it. She did not want that kind of thing in the past.

Then Keva comes by who is also in the shop. And we call him over and tell him to fall as well. He does not feel like doing that.

In the meanwhile on the street I see a young girl walk past, she is Evwe, Keva's partner, and when I look at her I think, is Brva jealous now, because I feel her eyes in my back and I think she is jealous. So, I stop looking and focus again. Keva jumps anyway. Or lets himself fall.

3. Fish and Chips

I come from somewhere and it is time to eat, I am on a square, alone. I decide to go to a fish and chips shop where I sometimes go but it has been a while now.

It is open. When I enter I see about three ladies working behind the counter, busy. It is small here. It is also new year. I am waiting.

Then I see my brother, who just entered, but he goes right behind the counter and starts to help himself, everyone lets him, as if he belongs there. I remember that he used to work here, interim as a student, and now he has this privilege. But I haven't seen him here before. And he doesn't see me. And I don't really look at him. I know what I want and when it is my turn I tell the lady behind the bar that. What they sell changes from time to time in the dream. First sandwich with fish, then chips with fish, now it is only fish. Or fish and vegetables, but you have to ask specifically for the vegetables. I want the usual, which means with everything on it, but I fear I might have to ask it specifically, so I do, for two different things, like salad and something else, and they behind the counter get quite mad, because it looks like I'm arrogant, as if I know better. So they're touchy. One of them is a woman who works in a bakery called Vangrootloon in real life, if I remember well. In the meanwhile my brother is there and he does not say anything, no hello. But I don't speak up either or address him. It seems a bit weird with all these people around to do that. 

When I go to the left to pay, I am closer and I consider saying hello to my brother for real, but I don't. And he doesn't do anything. He's on the right side now, and eating. He paid six euros.

I have to pay eleven euros. I look for money in my wallet. First I would like to give a fifty euro note, but then I think I might have change and I give a tenner and then I look for the one euro, which I have. I think this is expensive. I'm actually paying more than my brother.

That's it.

I had to choose the kind of fish I wanted to eat, but I wanted a mix and I said 'salmon' but didn't mean to. The lady took salmon, which was okay, because I wanted salmon in the mix, and then I pointed to a small pile of fish shreds that looked dark grey and greasy, but quite good to me, and asked what that was, and they said: it is grey fish. They didn't know the name, I asked again, but they couldn't answer and became a little mad again. I said it is okay, I'm having that. They will probably put some mayonnaise on that, too. I did not ask for that, but if I heard them correctly, that is how it is supposed to be served. And then a third kind of fish further on the right.