1. Sleeping with Bale
I am on my own somewhere.
Then it is late, evening or night, Bale is in the neigbourhood, we had this arranged, upper floor, large bedroom, just we too, though before there were more people, and they must be somewhere around, but not near us.
I don't know how it happens, but Bale and me start to have sex. If I remember correctly, it started out a bit shy, and then there were no real obstacles, and we were in the bed (which I remember of other dreams, regarding Inro), and the bed is rather large too. Warm colours. We share the bed and I am thinking that now it happens though I had not expected it anymore.
I go in her at least twice, I mean two turns. And then I realize I am having sex, and all is going very well, and I also realize and maybe say that it has been twelve years since it happened. I meant to say that it is since such a long time that I have had sex, but for her it is different. I said that out loud. She has a lover at the moment, and is happy.
Now I read my notes: at first we were not really having sex but lying on the bed very close and this felt intimate. I slept because I needed to, but she was okay with it and me too, but it slowly turned into sex, that is what happened. And it also her bed.
Halfway through the session I am starting to panic a little. This is because I am starting to wake up and lying down I am looking in front of me, white sheets, she beside me, on the right, or beneath me or wherever, but I see an orange in front of me, actually a mandarin. I take hold of it. I have doubts for some time, then decide to penetrate this piece of fruit anyway and it is the best ever. Juicy and it kind of splatters when I do it and I realize that this fruit was meant to be penetrated. At first I was wary about penetrating a mandarin, but it was the right thing to do.
Then the people who were present come back into view or they reenter, these are all friends, like Elbe and Ande. And they all have things to say about us, and I feel rather unsure all of a sudden, but they don't mean harm, and I don't really now what they think or what they know about Bale and me.
Something about a stage play. And something about smells. Someone said the word 'geuren' smells, one of those friends, and I smelled it for real.
2. Cornflakes
Last part of a dream in which I have to resent the clock, it is 18 o'clock, which is 6pm. Digital I suppose.
Something about eating an omelet, and helping doing the dishes, to be polite. Mo (of zonnekompas) is there and she says something about mugwort (?).
Earlier in the dream I was at home and mom and dad are gone. Perhaps this was after the sex session of the earlier dream, in that case both dreams happened in the same REM phase. My father then asks me whether I would like cornflakes. We are in the car? I remember thinking that I don't eat cornflakes but I said yes anyway because I know I might find myself in a situation soon enough where I have nothing else to eat.
I look up when we are in the veranda, there is something with the roof, a normal roof on top of the glass one.
Something about the sand playground too, this must be closed maybe.
Something about camping.
3. I am the Only One Seeing the Animal
I remember seeing an animal, this must have been in the house of parents, and I was the only one seeing it. And I'm not sure what it was, not really a marten, because this one was bigger and had other colours, more like a badger, but it wasn't really like that either, wrong kind of face.
I see it in the garden as well. Three times.
Thursday, 7 November 2013
Wednesday, 6 November 2013
Through the Hole in the Wall
1. Secret Meeting
Place like a tribune, I'm on the upper side, not much people about, this is our working place, at work. Night.
There is a meeting behind closed doors going on, I just happen to be there.
People from the inspection are visiting at the same time, a man and a woman. Either of them yells.
Cavs who worked with us in the past is there, and something about a customer, girl, I go after her.
2. Out Pooling with Woli
Woli and I, we meet on the Hooverplein. Late in the night, something with a bicycle, maybe he borrowed mine.
Woli runs away after we meet, in a certain direction and it is clear he wants to go pooling, while I think it is already late. But I ask him: where are you going. He wants to play pool, and the way he is going there is only one place, and this place is called The Tomato.
Another boy on a bicycle comes behind and joins us. We find the alley where the place is, this is a back alley, and I don't like it, though I know the place, according to the dream, I've been here before.
In the wall, brick, on the right, there is a whole, maybe more or less on eye height, and a stairs underneath, such a metal one that is used for fire escapes from apartments, but of course not so high. Woli enters, climbing the stairs somehow and going through the hole.
I follow, but am not very sure, and when I am in front of the whole I can already see it is too narrow I don't fit. Yet there is no other way, and I have to go in, so somehow I find myself at the other side, though this takes long, because I have reservations.
Inside, D is there, so we are four.
There is a free table, and already I am faced with the fact that I don't know what to order for a drink, though we are not that far yet even, but I'll just have a still water. And I can't remember the arrangement of the tables well, but there must have been another table with girls, and I actually see there are many student girls about, so I may well have luck tonight. There is also a disco here. This place will later turn into a disco, maybe. And there is a table on the far side across, which is at where a window would be, and the bar itself is at the left by a wall. But this one table is more or less in the way, since there is also a free pool table, and this one we want to use. But that is where the dream ends, so no resolution.
3. Soup Bar
Diestsestraat. I enter the soup bar, and the guy is there. They are exceptionally open, but all the tables are full.
Some kind of soup (I wrote V. but I don't remember what it stands for). Soup with something something. A man says that he now also has a bar, but that he has yet to wake up.
I order whiskey, and I get this in a glass that looks like a mustard bottle, but I drink from it, and every time I put back the lid.
Ah, the soup had alcohol in it.
At some point what I get served just by ordering this soup and whiskey, I end up with three things that have alcohol in it, as if I can't escape it. But I eat a lot of bread, almost a slice everytime I take a sip from the whisky or the soup. Bread with something something.
Something about the dish of the neighbour, and start to eat without something something.
New employees, something about Italy something something.
Place like a tribune, I'm on the upper side, not much people about, this is our working place, at work. Night.
There is a meeting behind closed doors going on, I just happen to be there.
People from the inspection are visiting at the same time, a man and a woman. Either of them yells.
Cavs who worked with us in the past is there, and something about a customer, girl, I go after her.
2. Out Pooling with Woli
Woli and I, we meet on the Hooverplein. Late in the night, something with a bicycle, maybe he borrowed mine.
Woli runs away after we meet, in a certain direction and it is clear he wants to go pooling, while I think it is already late. But I ask him: where are you going. He wants to play pool, and the way he is going there is only one place, and this place is called The Tomato.
Another boy on a bicycle comes behind and joins us. We find the alley where the place is, this is a back alley, and I don't like it, though I know the place, according to the dream, I've been here before.
In the wall, brick, on the right, there is a whole, maybe more or less on eye height, and a stairs underneath, such a metal one that is used for fire escapes from apartments, but of course not so high. Woli enters, climbing the stairs somehow and going through the hole.
I follow, but am not very sure, and when I am in front of the whole I can already see it is too narrow I don't fit. Yet there is no other way, and I have to go in, so somehow I find myself at the other side, though this takes long, because I have reservations.
Inside, D is there, so we are four.
There is a free table, and already I am faced with the fact that I don't know what to order for a drink, though we are not that far yet even, but I'll just have a still water. And I can't remember the arrangement of the tables well, but there must have been another table with girls, and I actually see there are many student girls about, so I may well have luck tonight. There is also a disco here. This place will later turn into a disco, maybe. And there is a table on the far side across, which is at where a window would be, and the bar itself is at the left by a wall. But this one table is more or less in the way, since there is also a free pool table, and this one we want to use. But that is where the dream ends, so no resolution.
3. Soup Bar
Diestsestraat. I enter the soup bar, and the guy is there. They are exceptionally open, but all the tables are full.
Some kind of soup (I wrote V. but I don't remember what it stands for). Soup with something something. A man says that he now also has a bar, but that he has yet to wake up.
I order whiskey, and I get this in a glass that looks like a mustard bottle, but I drink from it, and every time I put back the lid.
Ah, the soup had alcohol in it.
At some point what I get served just by ordering this soup and whiskey, I end up with three things that have alcohol in it, as if I can't escape it. But I eat a lot of bread, almost a slice everytime I take a sip from the whisky or the soup. Bread with something something.
Something about the dish of the neighbour, and start to eat without something something.
New employees, something about Italy something something.
Tuesday, 5 November 2013
Restart Engine
1. Thurisaz Ansuz
Il from taiji was in the dream.
Car, going home (dark and night if I remember right), tourist (?), walking, (something I can't read).
N is there. GPS system, car something something.
There is a girl who comes to help me, she has been sent by Elbe. Something about runes. She says something but I can't now remember what (can't read notes). Anyway, the whole concept was some kind of paradox or something with the complementing of two poles of opposites, and these were linked, by me, with Thurisaz and Ansuz. In any case, the feeling of the two aspects was to me exactly Thurisaz and Ansuz, while Thurisaz was more present.
There is also a boy, house, (something I can't read), and Eddo (?) also there.
2. Restart Car
Number 25, this is the number of a house. Key on the door. This is the end of the dream, I am outside, and I am surprised to see this number again. Night. That is where this dream ends. Close-up of lock, which is key in lock.
Earlier.
Car, something about surviving, I remember a fragment in which the landscape in which we walked by day become barren, like in an animation film when evil takes over. All the green grass becomes suddenly yellow when you walk over it, big patches go bad. I have no good feeling about this, but the withering is not so profound as it could have been, so I am also relieved.
Before that, watching a film, Kaco is there and Bale.
Then watching a second film. There was something about the people who were sitting next to me, on my left and right. Possibly Kaco on my right and Bale on my left. And Kaco starts moving for my hand, and I don't want her to do that, and even less do I want Bale to see this, so I do nothing.
Something something at home made of, no, there was a dark grey, rather large marten. Rather comfortable. It moves like I am the only one seeing him, and it makes me think of the presence of a spirit, but I ignore it.
Again something about cars, and mother asks me if I could get the car.
There was also a fragment which featured PWC, building large, in the dark, among other things.
I get in the car, and then descend a slope down, this is on the highway, now I remember, light, we just come out of the wood, N is there, and indeed mother, she drives there and she actually arrives at the right moment when we need a car, because we came through the wood on foot, but now we will need a car, to get away I suppose. But the car is broke, the engine has fallen silent, and mother asks me whether I can fix it. The car is still moving a little, because of residual motions. This is a long road and cars drive both ways.
I am surprised she asks me and not N, because he is usually the specialist, but I get in the car, without even thinking, and without taking my brother with me and who else is there. And that is why I need the slope down, because that would gain me speed without using the engine, and I know I can use this acceleration to get the engine started again, if I get the gears right, but I do, without panicking.
So now I'm looking for a place to turn, so that I can pick up the others. End of dream.
Il from taiji was in the dream.
Car, going home (dark and night if I remember right), tourist (?), walking, (something I can't read).
N is there. GPS system, car something something.
There is a girl who comes to help me, she has been sent by Elbe. Something about runes. She says something but I can't now remember what (can't read notes). Anyway, the whole concept was some kind of paradox or something with the complementing of two poles of opposites, and these were linked, by me, with Thurisaz and Ansuz. In any case, the feeling of the two aspects was to me exactly Thurisaz and Ansuz, while Thurisaz was more present.
There is also a boy, house, (something I can't read), and Eddo (?) also there.
2. Restart Car
Number 25, this is the number of a house. Key on the door. This is the end of the dream, I am outside, and I am surprised to see this number again. Night. That is where this dream ends. Close-up of lock, which is key in lock.
Earlier.
Car, something about surviving, I remember a fragment in which the landscape in which we walked by day become barren, like in an animation film when evil takes over. All the green grass becomes suddenly yellow when you walk over it, big patches go bad. I have no good feeling about this, but the withering is not so profound as it could have been, so I am also relieved.
Before that, watching a film, Kaco is there and Bale.
Then watching a second film. There was something about the people who were sitting next to me, on my left and right. Possibly Kaco on my right and Bale on my left. And Kaco starts moving for my hand, and I don't want her to do that, and even less do I want Bale to see this, so I do nothing.
Something something at home made of, no, there was a dark grey, rather large marten. Rather comfortable. It moves like I am the only one seeing him, and it makes me think of the presence of a spirit, but I ignore it.
Again something about cars, and mother asks me if I could get the car.
There was also a fragment which featured PWC, building large, in the dark, among other things.
I get in the car, and then descend a slope down, this is on the highway, now I remember, light, we just come out of the wood, N is there, and indeed mother, she drives there and she actually arrives at the right moment when we need a car, because we came through the wood on foot, but now we will need a car, to get away I suppose. But the car is broke, the engine has fallen silent, and mother asks me whether I can fix it. The car is still moving a little, because of residual motions. This is a long road and cars drive both ways.
I am surprised she asks me and not N, because he is usually the specialist, but I get in the car, without even thinking, and without taking my brother with me and who else is there. And that is why I need the slope down, because that would gain me speed without using the engine, and I know I can use this acceleration to get the engine started again, if I get the gears right, but I do, without panicking.
So now I'm looking for a place to turn, so that I can pick up the others. End of dream.
Monday, 4 November 2013
Lost in Deep Space
1. Bound
(Vision)
Last part of a dream, new scene.
I am walking home at night, from centre of town, through Ravenstraat. I pass my street on the right without realizing it. It rains slightly. I have my eyes turned down a bit, but then suddenly I see another person coming from the other side, walking this street. And in an instant I recognize her. It is Kaco, and I assume she is going home as well, since she now works nearby. She wears dark blue, and I recognize her haircut. She sees me too in that instance.
I don't want to be a bother, so I immediately turn my head to the right, and look down, and stay where I am, but I can tell that she stopped moving as well, as she had not expected to run into me. So both of us look away.
When I want to look back at her I can't, as if I am bound, and I can't even get up. I am crouched, though still on my two feet, and this seems to be something I do to myself, but not being able to look back at her reminds me of those times in the past in dreams where I am not able to open my eyes because the light is too blinding. It seems that she has such a hard time, or I do, with facing each other, that I can't look at her and start to collapse onto myself, and there is nothing I can do, and I even hear myself groan when I wake up. I moan in reality, that is the end of the dream, or vision, because all looked as if it might have been real.
2. Two German Girls
Light, Leuven, Hooverplein. At the balloon statue, I pass a girl that I know. A little later I meet another, and both are somehow linked. And somewhat later when I pass the same spot they are both together, as if dealing out leaflets to people, a little distance away from each other. One is dressed in red, the other I can't remember, but more like dark blue I think. And I know their names, because one is called Christine, and the other is called Anne-Lise. And at those different timing I go up to them and ask them questions, but I can't remember regarding what, only that I thought they might be able to help me. One of them reminds me of the girl from Germany, Berlin, who visited my uncle and aunt B&D two weeks ago. She is my age. In the dream, both might be from Germany.
3. Black Ship, Red Nebula, Paper Water Bird Planet
Maybe the same dream.
I'm on a ship, on land, because it is pulled on dry land and refurbished as a ship. I don't think I have been here before, but the location is where Stuk is, and this place is very posh. It has three stories, the outside of the ship is black with white, but mostly black. The inside is like a large rectangle. Very large, the whole complex is some distance above ground, so you can see the parts of the ship that would normally be under the surface of the water. There are metal stairs to go up and down.
I think I am in the middle section, and in the corner at my back to the right is a kitchen, professional. And this is a restaurant.
Later the three sections are pulled together and form one big ship. D is there.
At some point in this or another dream, Dore is there.
Then things change, but still the same dream, next thing I remember is the city, and then I am in space on a spacecraft with someone else. The two of us cruise through deep space, nowhere near a place I am familiar with and all is dark, but the spots where we just passed, and in fact we look at the rear of the ship, because there seems to be some sublimation, crystallization, like airplanes leave in the air. And it is mostly red and nebulous, and I think it is a wonderful sight, and it tells us something about the composition of space.
We are actually lost with our spacecraft, the two of us.
While we watch this fuel vapour or whatever it is, the other person asks me if we have a certain atom on board, because he would like to fire that across the nebula behind the ship, and it will work like an indicator, and we will know even more about the composition, and we will also be able to tell if this is real space we are identifying or the gases from the ship, but it is the first. The atom is called Fiero.
I don't know what he means, but I look closer to see if what he means.
The nebula has waves in it in red hues, and you can see the curvings of space or gravity, and that means that this sight unveils planets and so on, in space, that we pass somehow.
It is like a big soft red cloud that stretches behind us, and it is a signature, of the location in space.
Planets and star systems become apparent and clearly recognizable.
So then we look more intent, and even without the atom we start to see individual planets and systems. Some have texts in space on them, in English, and this is weird to encounter, and a few ones later, there is even a planet with a long text inscribed on top of it and a voice is repeating the text, and this is a weird sensation. I wonder how it is possible. Colours also have changed to these different objects, mostly white.
At some point we land, more by accident or pressure than by will, and when we descend through the clouds we enter a city, and to our left we see a white crane hovering reading the newspaper, but the bird is made of paper, white. And when we land, we see more of the same creatures. And somewhat later we learn that these paper birds live in or under the water, in ponds.
The reason why we landed is because we are without fuel. So once on the planet I start thinking about solutions. We don't find fuel.
Then, at some point we are told by someone living here that we should hurry and go to a certain office, booth, and formally register as being aliens, or coming from outer space, because if we don't do this before three o'clock, we will be regarded as people of this planet, and we will not be able to leave the planet.
I was already thinking of going there. And while we go there, round a house first, then cross the square, it has started to rain, or hail, and the white stones are a chemical substance but not water, ammonia is among it and some other substance I can't remember.
4. Catching a Train
There might have been a dream in which I was in a train station, with other people. But I can't remember well.
5. Maffia
There was some last dream which was chaotic, in a house, different rooms, but mostly at the road side, and lots of people, and competing with another group. I do my own thing. Can't remember the rest, though the end was that I was too awake to call it a dream anymore, there was a car abducting my brother D, I went after them, came back, had homework to do, made eggs in the frying pan, added another one, while people were still crowding, one girl was of the bad guys team, near me, I hug her from behind, she is pregnant I feel.
+6. Chestful of Tomatoes
I remember a fragment where I grab tomatoes, all small ones like cherry tomatoes and a little bigger than that, but different colours, red and yellow, these were all different kinds of tomato in fact, and I tried to grab many in my hand as I could, but I could not hold on to more than fitted in my hand, naturally, this shows my greed, or the desire to be fast. The wooden basket in which they lay was turned away from me. Inside, other people around but not much.
(Vision)
Last part of a dream, new scene.
I am walking home at night, from centre of town, through Ravenstraat. I pass my street on the right without realizing it. It rains slightly. I have my eyes turned down a bit, but then suddenly I see another person coming from the other side, walking this street. And in an instant I recognize her. It is Kaco, and I assume she is going home as well, since she now works nearby. She wears dark blue, and I recognize her haircut. She sees me too in that instance.
I don't want to be a bother, so I immediately turn my head to the right, and look down, and stay where I am, but I can tell that she stopped moving as well, as she had not expected to run into me. So both of us look away.
When I want to look back at her I can't, as if I am bound, and I can't even get up. I am crouched, though still on my two feet, and this seems to be something I do to myself, but not being able to look back at her reminds me of those times in the past in dreams where I am not able to open my eyes because the light is too blinding. It seems that she has such a hard time, or I do, with facing each other, that I can't look at her and start to collapse onto myself, and there is nothing I can do, and I even hear myself groan when I wake up. I moan in reality, that is the end of the dream, or vision, because all looked as if it might have been real.
2. Two German Girls
Light, Leuven, Hooverplein. At the balloon statue, I pass a girl that I know. A little later I meet another, and both are somehow linked. And somewhat later when I pass the same spot they are both together, as if dealing out leaflets to people, a little distance away from each other. One is dressed in red, the other I can't remember, but more like dark blue I think. And I know their names, because one is called Christine, and the other is called Anne-Lise. And at those different timing I go up to them and ask them questions, but I can't remember regarding what, only that I thought they might be able to help me. One of them reminds me of the girl from Germany, Berlin, who visited my uncle and aunt B&D two weeks ago. She is my age. In the dream, both might be from Germany.
3. Black Ship, Red Nebula, Paper Water Bird Planet
Maybe the same dream.
I'm on a ship, on land, because it is pulled on dry land and refurbished as a ship. I don't think I have been here before, but the location is where Stuk is, and this place is very posh. It has three stories, the outside of the ship is black with white, but mostly black. The inside is like a large rectangle. Very large, the whole complex is some distance above ground, so you can see the parts of the ship that would normally be under the surface of the water. There are metal stairs to go up and down.
I think I am in the middle section, and in the corner at my back to the right is a kitchen, professional. And this is a restaurant.
Later the three sections are pulled together and form one big ship. D is there.
At some point in this or another dream, Dore is there.
Then things change, but still the same dream, next thing I remember is the city, and then I am in space on a spacecraft with someone else. The two of us cruise through deep space, nowhere near a place I am familiar with and all is dark, but the spots where we just passed, and in fact we look at the rear of the ship, because there seems to be some sublimation, crystallization, like airplanes leave in the air. And it is mostly red and nebulous, and I think it is a wonderful sight, and it tells us something about the composition of space.
We are actually lost with our spacecraft, the two of us.
While we watch this fuel vapour or whatever it is, the other person asks me if we have a certain atom on board, because he would like to fire that across the nebula behind the ship, and it will work like an indicator, and we will know even more about the composition, and we will also be able to tell if this is real space we are identifying or the gases from the ship, but it is the first. The atom is called Fiero.
I don't know what he means, but I look closer to see if what he means.
The nebula has waves in it in red hues, and you can see the curvings of space or gravity, and that means that this sight unveils planets and so on, in space, that we pass somehow.
It is like a big soft red cloud that stretches behind us, and it is a signature, of the location in space.
Planets and star systems become apparent and clearly recognizable.
So then we look more intent, and even without the atom we start to see individual planets and systems. Some have texts in space on them, in English, and this is weird to encounter, and a few ones later, there is even a planet with a long text inscribed on top of it and a voice is repeating the text, and this is a weird sensation. I wonder how it is possible. Colours also have changed to these different objects, mostly white.
At some point we land, more by accident or pressure than by will, and when we descend through the clouds we enter a city, and to our left we see a white crane hovering reading the newspaper, but the bird is made of paper, white. And when we land, we see more of the same creatures. And somewhat later we learn that these paper birds live in or under the water, in ponds.
The reason why we landed is because we are without fuel. So once on the planet I start thinking about solutions. We don't find fuel.
Then, at some point we are told by someone living here that we should hurry and go to a certain office, booth, and formally register as being aliens, or coming from outer space, because if we don't do this before three o'clock, we will be regarded as people of this planet, and we will not be able to leave the planet.
I was already thinking of going there. And while we go there, round a house first, then cross the square, it has started to rain, or hail, and the white stones are a chemical substance but not water, ammonia is among it and some other substance I can't remember.
4. Catching a Train
There might have been a dream in which I was in a train station, with other people. But I can't remember well.
5. Maffia
There was some last dream which was chaotic, in a house, different rooms, but mostly at the road side, and lots of people, and competing with another group. I do my own thing. Can't remember the rest, though the end was that I was too awake to call it a dream anymore, there was a car abducting my brother D, I went after them, came back, had homework to do, made eggs in the frying pan, added another one, while people were still crowding, one girl was of the bad guys team, near me, I hug her from behind, she is pregnant I feel.
+6. Chestful of Tomatoes
I remember a fragment where I grab tomatoes, all small ones like cherry tomatoes and a little bigger than that, but different colours, red and yellow, these were all different kinds of tomato in fact, and I tried to grab many in my hand as I could, but I could not hold on to more than fitted in my hand, naturally, this shows my greed, or the desire to be fast. The wooden basket in which they lay was turned away from me. Inside, other people around but not much.
Sunday, 3 November 2013
Lost Home
1. Wrong House
I am arriving home from being away a long time.
On the road, the last part before arriving, is busy, there are quite a few cars, and most go against the direction I am going in, which is a trouble, but I continue anyway. These cars have nothing to do with me, they are impersonal. So I walk through Leuven, near the station, Bondgenotenlaan, where the Justus Lipsius begins.
When I arrive the house is a playground, there is an open door to the school building. I go through it and enter, the whole house is on the ground level, which is surprising. House of uncle B&D and my room is in the back.
The above means, that when I come home, I find that I have to pass through the playground of a school, so I enter that too, and the house where I live is on the left. Many people with children are on the playground and some kind of party is going on, German speaking people included, friends of B&D. But I desperately want to go home, being finally there.
Light on the playground, but inside the house it is dark. So this house is owned by B&D. All this was not clear to me when I arrived, but the dream presents it so, so I go into the house, and this is all the rooms of B&D. Living room, and a slide door window to the outside, to cater for the guests. Now dad and maybe other family is also there.
I just want to go to my apartment. I did not realize I was living in the house of B&D and while I am walking about in the house I am wondering why I moved in here at all, since I want to be and live alone. But I think at the same time that I might just as well move back to where I come from, and I'll be more at rest if I do. So I don't make a big deal out of it.
So I rent a room here. N and dad are here, I need to go to the bathroom. I have to wait, possibly because my dad goes to the toilet first. And this is the moment I make the considerations about moving house.
There is constantly the party of B&D going on. Inside the house people are calmer. Large living room, computer there, N there, something about playing pc games. And there is a dressed up guy, like a character from a game, and he is there to entertain guests, and explains this or that, and he reminds me of both Naruto and Mario Bros.
Then we are ordering food, of course because I am hungry and I haven't eaten at all since a long time. Everyone else is eating, and I have a leaflet with me to phone order, but I can't choose at all. At that point I am in a sofa, and I am tired being in the wrong place and taking care of my own business like nobody else cares. I'm really hungry. There's lots of different stuff on the menu to order from, but I don't like anything. One section had all kinds of noodle soups. A good part of the menu was Asian. So no food for me.
Then there is also my mother and I am really fed up with her.
Later there are still B&D but that does not solve my problems. I go back outside to the playground at some point, maybe toward the end of the dream.
I do have some understanding with my brother N. (Then I can't read my notes, and then). In the end I eat pork that my father serves me, this is at a long table, and I am on the right, and this is outside, or at least before this was part of the playground, but now it seems to be another room in the same location.
I don't feel like eating this bbq pork, but I do anyway since I've got nothing else, but it is only meat and nothing else, I really don't like that, but I have no choice. There happens to be a pocket book by Robert Jordan on the table which is mine, thick one, and I start eating the edges of it to go with the pork. I am actually eating the paper.
2. King End
Dream about King Filip, from close by, no background, dark, and his face was like a cartoon, but he was complaining and saying he has no good eye on the future of kingship, if I remember correctly. He was seeing a future in which things ended.
I am arriving home from being away a long time.
On the road, the last part before arriving, is busy, there are quite a few cars, and most go against the direction I am going in, which is a trouble, but I continue anyway. These cars have nothing to do with me, they are impersonal. So I walk through Leuven, near the station, Bondgenotenlaan, where the Justus Lipsius begins.
When I arrive the house is a playground, there is an open door to the school building. I go through it and enter, the whole house is on the ground level, which is surprising. House of uncle B&D and my room is in the back.
The above means, that when I come home, I find that I have to pass through the playground of a school, so I enter that too, and the house where I live is on the left. Many people with children are on the playground and some kind of party is going on, German speaking people included, friends of B&D. But I desperately want to go home, being finally there.
Light on the playground, but inside the house it is dark. So this house is owned by B&D. All this was not clear to me when I arrived, but the dream presents it so, so I go into the house, and this is all the rooms of B&D. Living room, and a slide door window to the outside, to cater for the guests. Now dad and maybe other family is also there.
I just want to go to my apartment. I did not realize I was living in the house of B&D and while I am walking about in the house I am wondering why I moved in here at all, since I want to be and live alone. But I think at the same time that I might just as well move back to where I come from, and I'll be more at rest if I do. So I don't make a big deal out of it.
So I rent a room here. N and dad are here, I need to go to the bathroom. I have to wait, possibly because my dad goes to the toilet first. And this is the moment I make the considerations about moving house.
There is constantly the party of B&D going on. Inside the house people are calmer. Large living room, computer there, N there, something about playing pc games. And there is a dressed up guy, like a character from a game, and he is there to entertain guests, and explains this or that, and he reminds me of both Naruto and Mario Bros.
Then we are ordering food, of course because I am hungry and I haven't eaten at all since a long time. Everyone else is eating, and I have a leaflet with me to phone order, but I can't choose at all. At that point I am in a sofa, and I am tired being in the wrong place and taking care of my own business like nobody else cares. I'm really hungry. There's lots of different stuff on the menu to order from, but I don't like anything. One section had all kinds of noodle soups. A good part of the menu was Asian. So no food for me.
Then there is also my mother and I am really fed up with her.
Later there are still B&D but that does not solve my problems. I go back outside to the playground at some point, maybe toward the end of the dream.
I do have some understanding with my brother N. (Then I can't read my notes, and then). In the end I eat pork that my father serves me, this is at a long table, and I am on the right, and this is outside, or at least before this was part of the playground, but now it seems to be another room in the same location.
I don't feel like eating this bbq pork, but I do anyway since I've got nothing else, but it is only meat and nothing else, I really don't like that, but I have no choice. There happens to be a pocket book by Robert Jordan on the table which is mine, thick one, and I start eating the edges of it to go with the pork. I am actually eating the paper.
2. King End
Dream about King Filip, from close by, no background, dark, and his face was like a cartoon, but he was complaining and saying he has no good eye on the future of kingship, if I remember correctly. He was seeing a future in which things ended.
Saturday, 2 November 2013
Back Home
1. Minions
Pumpkin soup. My own apartment, two cats, morning to early noon, minions of Despicable Me.
Something about school. Waiting a long time.
2. Team Mission
Seeing to completing a mission, alone, but by working together.
3. Because Mom is Dead
In the house, room with old stuff, our mother is dead, now she is here no longer we are faced with all this old stuff. But there is light in the room, that is, now light reaches the room. In one room, which is really dusty and a bit dark at first, there are panels on which fabric is stretched and I remember that our mother used these. And I am thinking to maybe hold on to these because I could use them, but they are worn, and the colours are gone, yellows and greens, in fact it is ugly. A bit dirty too. However, I know if the time for deciding comes, I will bin it.
House of parents, but desolate, N is here, and me, and mother, who is present emphatically. Later I am using the toilet to escape my mom. This is all in the dining room. The colours are good quality and wood. Maybe my brother and I were doing something, but then when mother shows up, I'd like to go away and avoid her. N is not disturbed.
So the first thing I do is flee to the toilet, which in this case is in the corner of the dining room and the kitchen, right from the door to the kitchen. I enter, but I can't get the door closed, something is wrong with the lock, but I have another chance, because there is another door opposite, which in such a small room is immediately behind me, but I can't shut that one either, so I am rather exposed. I get this second door a bit closed and am a bit relieved, but even with the door closed you can see everything. Walls don't count.
So I leave this compartment and go more to the right, which is the front door in this case, and I can even see the outside, which is a unkempt garden, but rather big. And this front door is the side of the house. The hall of entry is what I escape to because it is a bit special, hi-tech, and full automatic, but it has been a long time since I've been in this house, and things don't work as I remember. I enter the hallway, which is royal and posh, and this is like a lift and it should therefore take me away from the main house, and it lifts when I enter and then swings to one side, and then makes a loop, and turns this way and that as if the thing is not fastened to the house at all, and I know this is not normal, but I don't panic. Things go rather fast, but I'm not sure if I'm getting away in this way.
I go through all of this because I did not want to take the staircase inside the house, because this was firstly too easy, and secondly too close to where my mom was. This stair was on the left, living room, wood, never seen it, but knew it was there.
When I finally land I see outside a car arriving. Friends of mine get out of the car, men and women, maybe two, maybe four, and they want to help me, come my way. There is a barrier, wooden (slagboom) beam to close the gate as if, and this they have to lift, but they can open it. The beam is long and rough, this is at the street side, which is up.
Outside, there is more folk. Dive and Ancl are there, and Bale is there, all in the garage, and there are plants, this is when we go past the house, which should have been the front originally, and all my friends go with me, and Bale knows her way well, and there is a little patch with plants and herbs and stuff, and more to the right a shed with garden tools, all very different than reality, very dream like, but real looking.
I can't remember why I am there so I turn again, pass Bale, she says something about a particular herb there, klitkruid, which is one that has seeds that stick to your clothes. Bale is angry at me, but now I don't remember why. There was in the shed also a grey cat which looked a bit like S, but even in the dream it was clear that she wasn't the same cat. Yet I'm happy to see that cat.
Then notes I can't read, and then: something about Africa, Johannesburg to Congo, there is a lawn, enclosure actually.
Here I can't find my way and I get lost. This is behind and away from the house and the lawn slopes down and I walk a long way and that is when I loose my way. And Bale is all the time with me, and we also pass a large building in the middle of this nowhere, which is rather upsetting, reminds me most of a water tower, but also reminds me of an alien military base, but no movement and I have no fear.
I know I should head back, because I will not arrive where I was planning to go. On the way back on the lawn, which is still a long way from being back, I reach out for Bale and kiss her on the lips, several times, quickly one after the other, and she does not react, and I want keep going to see if her attitude changes.
At some point, Toha and Beha are there, and there is something about a cantus, I think Toha says something about this when we pass a certain building, he must have been there the day before, on our left.
4. Pineapple Cocktail
Something about a pineapple cocktail, at least two glasses, looks blue grey, and has a lot of alcohol in it, but is refreshing too. Some other person there, too.
Pumpkin soup. My own apartment, two cats, morning to early noon, minions of Despicable Me.
Something about school. Waiting a long time.
2. Team Mission
Seeing to completing a mission, alone, but by working together.
3. Because Mom is Dead
In the house, room with old stuff, our mother is dead, now she is here no longer we are faced with all this old stuff. But there is light in the room, that is, now light reaches the room. In one room, which is really dusty and a bit dark at first, there are panels on which fabric is stretched and I remember that our mother used these. And I am thinking to maybe hold on to these because I could use them, but they are worn, and the colours are gone, yellows and greens, in fact it is ugly. A bit dirty too. However, I know if the time for deciding comes, I will bin it.
House of parents, but desolate, N is here, and me, and mother, who is present emphatically. Later I am using the toilet to escape my mom. This is all in the dining room. The colours are good quality and wood. Maybe my brother and I were doing something, but then when mother shows up, I'd like to go away and avoid her. N is not disturbed.
So the first thing I do is flee to the toilet, which in this case is in the corner of the dining room and the kitchen, right from the door to the kitchen. I enter, but I can't get the door closed, something is wrong with the lock, but I have another chance, because there is another door opposite, which in such a small room is immediately behind me, but I can't shut that one either, so I am rather exposed. I get this second door a bit closed and am a bit relieved, but even with the door closed you can see everything. Walls don't count.
So I leave this compartment and go more to the right, which is the front door in this case, and I can even see the outside, which is a unkempt garden, but rather big. And this front door is the side of the house. The hall of entry is what I escape to because it is a bit special, hi-tech, and full automatic, but it has been a long time since I've been in this house, and things don't work as I remember. I enter the hallway, which is royal and posh, and this is like a lift and it should therefore take me away from the main house, and it lifts when I enter and then swings to one side, and then makes a loop, and turns this way and that as if the thing is not fastened to the house at all, and I know this is not normal, but I don't panic. Things go rather fast, but I'm not sure if I'm getting away in this way.
I go through all of this because I did not want to take the staircase inside the house, because this was firstly too easy, and secondly too close to where my mom was. This stair was on the left, living room, wood, never seen it, but knew it was there.
When I finally land I see outside a car arriving. Friends of mine get out of the car, men and women, maybe two, maybe four, and they want to help me, come my way. There is a barrier, wooden (slagboom) beam to close the gate as if, and this they have to lift, but they can open it. The beam is long and rough, this is at the street side, which is up.
Outside, there is more folk. Dive and Ancl are there, and Bale is there, all in the garage, and there are plants, this is when we go past the house, which should have been the front originally, and all my friends go with me, and Bale knows her way well, and there is a little patch with plants and herbs and stuff, and more to the right a shed with garden tools, all very different than reality, very dream like, but real looking.
I can't remember why I am there so I turn again, pass Bale, she says something about a particular herb there, klitkruid, which is one that has seeds that stick to your clothes. Bale is angry at me, but now I don't remember why. There was in the shed also a grey cat which looked a bit like S, but even in the dream it was clear that she wasn't the same cat. Yet I'm happy to see that cat.
Then notes I can't read, and then: something about Africa, Johannesburg to Congo, there is a lawn, enclosure actually.
Here I can't find my way and I get lost. This is behind and away from the house and the lawn slopes down and I walk a long way and that is when I loose my way. And Bale is all the time with me, and we also pass a large building in the middle of this nowhere, which is rather upsetting, reminds me most of a water tower, but also reminds me of an alien military base, but no movement and I have no fear.
I know I should head back, because I will not arrive where I was planning to go. On the way back on the lawn, which is still a long way from being back, I reach out for Bale and kiss her on the lips, several times, quickly one after the other, and she does not react, and I want keep going to see if her attitude changes.
At some point, Toha and Beha are there, and there is something about a cantus, I think Toha says something about this when we pass a certain building, he must have been there the day before, on our left.
4. Pineapple Cocktail
Something about a pineapple cocktail, at least two glasses, looks blue grey, and has a lot of alcohol in it, but is refreshing too. Some other person there, too.
Friday, 1 November 2013
Military Recruit Trials
1. Back Door
Last but one dream.
Night, evening, brothers, location where the Unic supermarket in Herent used to be, parking lot, and there is a supermarket, I want to go in because I need something, and the rest of them must follow, though they can decide for themselves. And I go around left instead of going straight to the entry, because the way I remember this place in the back is another entry, and closer to where I need to be. I had not expected everyone to follow me, because they can think for themselves, but I see D coming after me quickly enough, and the rest follows, other people than just my two brothers.
When I'm at the back, I realize I made a mistake, this is a long way around, and it should have been better to go straight to the entrance, but now I'm here I must stick to my plan, but the place looks very difficult than what I remember of so many years ago. This is in fact a new place, and consists of two buildings, both much smaller than years ago, and only in one is light, and this one we enter.
I had hoped the shop would be bigger, there is nothing decent really, but I go to the till, which is near the entrance, so we go through it backward, and there are some general things that I could use, such as tomatoes and oranges.
2. Paired Play
Maybe before that. Cafetaria, upstairs, people are selected to play in a play, me too, stage play. There will be eight pairs, and one extra person, and that is the whole cast, but that means I'll be paired up with someone. Everyone else was ready for this, but not me, because I just happen to be there. The play is either something by Shakespeare or a reworking of Snow White.
When this teaming up is decided we one by one go upstairs where the cafeteria is. I am one of the last ones to be selected, though from the beginning it was clear that those who were present would be involved, but the teaming up was not decided yet. Now most have gone upstairs and I follow after late. That means that when I arrive upstairs with my tray of food, all seats are taken, and I don't find place to sit. Not really true, there are empty tables, but then I have to sit alone. I am in a dilemma, because the girl I am paired up with will come after me so I have to sit somewhere where she can sit with me, but if I sit at a table where the other players are then she will have no place to sit at the same table. If I sit at another table, I risk sitting there alone the whole time. What's more, there is a lot more people here, like the whole school, so also the other students who have nothing to do with the play are here. This means we are some elite group, secret.
After me another man comes up and also looks for a good place to sit down. Something about colours.
Fish was served to eat. I see the other participants. I don't actually want to be a part of this.
So I want to sit somewhere alone so that my partner can team up with me when she comes up, but it is already so late, and so much time has passed below, that there is no longer time to properly eat, supposedly, the team mate will not even ascend. We need to go to the meeting about the play.
3. Recruit Number 25
Same dream still.
Now we are in a classroom, and two people guide it, one teaches in front, and the other is walking among us and we sit down and take an exam. On the right is a bookshelf, along the whole wall. In front is an open space and more rooms behind and beyond that. This is also in a mountain. Something like a mountain base. The classroom is full, and the person in front is a young man still, maybe in his early twenties, and I've seen him before and know him as a kind person, though in his military role now he is very strict and correct.
Clearly, we who are sitting here signed up for some military recruit exam, and this person in front is overseeing it and giving detailed information. Because we are at the same time immediately briefed for a real mission.
When I look about me I see all kinds of people, most young, my age, behind me Spanish people.
At the same time, or just before this, something happens, because they hunt one of us, but he is not really a recruit but a veteran, though he is not much older than us, only he has been in the military much longer and he has information to undermine the system and they want to get rid of him, and I see him run through the snow against the mountain slope, and the people of the military try to surround him from all sides, but never get near, they shoot him. I can't believe it, but they do. And the person can't believe it, but cries out that they do. The first two or three shots he still climbs or crawls, but then a helicopter hovers about him and shoots, there is blood, and they prepare for taking him alive even, because he is too dangerous. But somehow from the classroom, I can hide him, in the shape of a DVD, which symbolizes him, and I see this DVD among the others on one of the lower shelves to the right in this big book shelf, and I take it and wonder where I can best put it so that he will not be found. And I realize I become suspect now and they can't know and I have to be very careful, otherwise I'll be dead too. But at the same time I know he is the key for when I come to face, or we as a group, come to face the last trial they will put us through, then I can reveal this old hero and he will save the day. That is what I am thinking. And I see that the dvd has another cover around it which is red, and I take this off, and the dvd itself, its cover is blue, and I think this will be good, if I hide these things separately. I will always be able to find them back, but no one else knows or can know.
Then the person in front starts his interrogations, first in the back row, he asks things, and will explain how he can unveil truth from lie. That means that when he will ask me something he will know if I hide something or not. And the first few people he tests, always being able whether they speak truth or not, I am afraid, but in the meantime I understand the technique and understand how I can give answers or ask the question myself to myself in such a way that I can answer truthfully but can still hid the truth. So I am no longer afraid, and I can even look him in the eye. And sometimes I think he looks into my eyes, but he never asks me a question, neither does he ever lock his eyes to mine. And I start to wonder whether he can focus at all, because whenever he looks straight at me and I hold his gaze, he seems to looks somewhere else, by not focusing. Only slightly, and I think it is weird, especially because he has very sharp eyes, and I like that.
Then he continues with the next part, which is identification, and he starts in the back again, not every person, but most he asks their names and where they are from. And the back row are all Spanish people, and most of them belong together, and they are rough people. They say their names, but I can't remember. There was one Spanish girl, she was second, and she had at least five names. This is a mixed group. And others use nicknames, but that is accepted too. One of them, in the corner, with dreadlocks, names himself Bloody Mary, and even the supervisor says: whooh. In mock surprise. When he goes on asking people's names, a sheet of paper circulates through the room, and we have to pen down our name. And because this one started from the front, by the time I get it from my right neighbour, I am the only one whose name is not yet written down. I have a pen, blue.
And I can easily calculate my number as well, because my right neighbour is 26 and my left neighbour is 24, so I write after some thought 25, and my front name underneath. And that seals it.
The test is also to remember what people say, because usually they give away more information than only their name. And some of this information is on the sheet of paper, and I see it written down. And I know I will be good at this game, distilling information that people thought they never gave away.
But that is when I start to wake up and where the dream ends.
4. Last 150 Days
Last dream.
My own apartment which is one room, long but not big, and sober, and on ground level. Door behind me, and the wall in front has a window. That section has the bedroom in it, and my grandfather lies there, across, in a chair that can be made into a bed, black, but it is very small, narrow, but long enough, and it is clear that my grandfather has been in this bed for a long time already, days on end, and never moved. He sleeps, and cannot do anything else.
He is dressed entirely in purple (he is the only one of my grandparents still alive). He is quite, but when I come to him to check on him, and speak to him, when he speaks he is very clear and awake, but he can't waste his energies. He is thin as well, and I know he has not much longer. That is when I start to slightly panic, because I don't really know what to do when a person dies, and in my own house. I should involve my parents at least.
I'm very sure he will not leave this bed anymore. And in the main I am okay that he is in my house. And some inside knowledge tells me he has another 150 days left, before he expires. But he is totally in peace.
Later my parents and brothers are here, but the place has changed too, now a big room, two stories, and the upper one is open in the middle, so like a balcony all around. One of our family is up there, the rest below, whites, sterile. Aunt M is also there. And people have tubes, plastic, but very long, which they point up and breathe through or something similar. Eddo is also there.
On the right is a small kitchen. Too small. I can't remember well what happened.
Later food is served from this place, but there is also a box on the floor, knee high, with dvd's, they are mostly series, one is in there many times but it is the second season, the cover is red, and this is for ladies, but a lady present asks after it, and I go through the dvd's to check if it is there, but it is. The dvd's are somehow connected to the food. Maybe soup.
What I can't stand in this situation is that people do things automatically, and don't take time to think things over, they do not contemplate or are mindful of what they do. I think this has to do with the death atmosphere.
6. Line Up of Fantasy Warriors
Fragments. At some point in a dream there was a row of people in a hall, and we could chose from them, like they were pieces for a chess game. But these were real people, and it reminded me of the game Machiavelli. And the most left one I can't remember, but the next one in line was very thing and in the background, and he was a spy, and his name must have been spooks. Then came ladies like warriors or fairies, and knights, some on foot, and at least one on horseback, and this one in plate armor, very impressive, and I would choose that one and the spy. Can't remember the rest of the line up, or who was with me to choose. One person was there to guide the lined up people, who were fantasy. But I can't remember what we needed them for.
And another fragment was when I held a bag of lentils, red or yellow, in my hand, to make food probably.
Last but one dream.
Night, evening, brothers, location where the Unic supermarket in Herent used to be, parking lot, and there is a supermarket, I want to go in because I need something, and the rest of them must follow, though they can decide for themselves. And I go around left instead of going straight to the entry, because the way I remember this place in the back is another entry, and closer to where I need to be. I had not expected everyone to follow me, because they can think for themselves, but I see D coming after me quickly enough, and the rest follows, other people than just my two brothers.
When I'm at the back, I realize I made a mistake, this is a long way around, and it should have been better to go straight to the entrance, but now I'm here I must stick to my plan, but the place looks very difficult than what I remember of so many years ago. This is in fact a new place, and consists of two buildings, both much smaller than years ago, and only in one is light, and this one we enter.
I had hoped the shop would be bigger, there is nothing decent really, but I go to the till, which is near the entrance, so we go through it backward, and there are some general things that I could use, such as tomatoes and oranges.
2. Paired Play
Maybe before that. Cafetaria, upstairs, people are selected to play in a play, me too, stage play. There will be eight pairs, and one extra person, and that is the whole cast, but that means I'll be paired up with someone. Everyone else was ready for this, but not me, because I just happen to be there. The play is either something by Shakespeare or a reworking of Snow White.
When this teaming up is decided we one by one go upstairs where the cafeteria is. I am one of the last ones to be selected, though from the beginning it was clear that those who were present would be involved, but the teaming up was not decided yet. Now most have gone upstairs and I follow after late. That means that when I arrive upstairs with my tray of food, all seats are taken, and I don't find place to sit. Not really true, there are empty tables, but then I have to sit alone. I am in a dilemma, because the girl I am paired up with will come after me so I have to sit somewhere where she can sit with me, but if I sit at a table where the other players are then she will have no place to sit at the same table. If I sit at another table, I risk sitting there alone the whole time. What's more, there is a lot more people here, like the whole school, so also the other students who have nothing to do with the play are here. This means we are some elite group, secret.
After me another man comes up and also looks for a good place to sit down. Something about colours.
Fish was served to eat. I see the other participants. I don't actually want to be a part of this.
So I want to sit somewhere alone so that my partner can team up with me when she comes up, but it is already so late, and so much time has passed below, that there is no longer time to properly eat, supposedly, the team mate will not even ascend. We need to go to the meeting about the play.
3. Recruit Number 25
Same dream still.
Now we are in a classroom, and two people guide it, one teaches in front, and the other is walking among us and we sit down and take an exam. On the right is a bookshelf, along the whole wall. In front is an open space and more rooms behind and beyond that. This is also in a mountain. Something like a mountain base. The classroom is full, and the person in front is a young man still, maybe in his early twenties, and I've seen him before and know him as a kind person, though in his military role now he is very strict and correct.
Clearly, we who are sitting here signed up for some military recruit exam, and this person in front is overseeing it and giving detailed information. Because we are at the same time immediately briefed for a real mission.
When I look about me I see all kinds of people, most young, my age, behind me Spanish people.
At the same time, or just before this, something happens, because they hunt one of us, but he is not really a recruit but a veteran, though he is not much older than us, only he has been in the military much longer and he has information to undermine the system and they want to get rid of him, and I see him run through the snow against the mountain slope, and the people of the military try to surround him from all sides, but never get near, they shoot him. I can't believe it, but they do. And the person can't believe it, but cries out that they do. The first two or three shots he still climbs or crawls, but then a helicopter hovers about him and shoots, there is blood, and they prepare for taking him alive even, because he is too dangerous. But somehow from the classroom, I can hide him, in the shape of a DVD, which symbolizes him, and I see this DVD among the others on one of the lower shelves to the right in this big book shelf, and I take it and wonder where I can best put it so that he will not be found. And I realize I become suspect now and they can't know and I have to be very careful, otherwise I'll be dead too. But at the same time I know he is the key for when I come to face, or we as a group, come to face the last trial they will put us through, then I can reveal this old hero and he will save the day. That is what I am thinking. And I see that the dvd has another cover around it which is red, and I take this off, and the dvd itself, its cover is blue, and I think this will be good, if I hide these things separately. I will always be able to find them back, but no one else knows or can know.
Then the person in front starts his interrogations, first in the back row, he asks things, and will explain how he can unveil truth from lie. That means that when he will ask me something he will know if I hide something or not. And the first few people he tests, always being able whether they speak truth or not, I am afraid, but in the meantime I understand the technique and understand how I can give answers or ask the question myself to myself in such a way that I can answer truthfully but can still hid the truth. So I am no longer afraid, and I can even look him in the eye. And sometimes I think he looks into my eyes, but he never asks me a question, neither does he ever lock his eyes to mine. And I start to wonder whether he can focus at all, because whenever he looks straight at me and I hold his gaze, he seems to looks somewhere else, by not focusing. Only slightly, and I think it is weird, especially because he has very sharp eyes, and I like that.
Then he continues with the next part, which is identification, and he starts in the back again, not every person, but most he asks their names and where they are from. And the back row are all Spanish people, and most of them belong together, and they are rough people. They say their names, but I can't remember. There was one Spanish girl, she was second, and she had at least five names. This is a mixed group. And others use nicknames, but that is accepted too. One of them, in the corner, with dreadlocks, names himself Bloody Mary, and even the supervisor says: whooh. In mock surprise. When he goes on asking people's names, a sheet of paper circulates through the room, and we have to pen down our name. And because this one started from the front, by the time I get it from my right neighbour, I am the only one whose name is not yet written down. I have a pen, blue.
And I can easily calculate my number as well, because my right neighbour is 26 and my left neighbour is 24, so I write after some thought 25, and my front name underneath. And that seals it.
The test is also to remember what people say, because usually they give away more information than only their name. And some of this information is on the sheet of paper, and I see it written down. And I know I will be good at this game, distilling information that people thought they never gave away.
But that is when I start to wake up and where the dream ends.
4. Last 150 Days
Last dream.
My own apartment which is one room, long but not big, and sober, and on ground level. Door behind me, and the wall in front has a window. That section has the bedroom in it, and my grandfather lies there, across, in a chair that can be made into a bed, black, but it is very small, narrow, but long enough, and it is clear that my grandfather has been in this bed for a long time already, days on end, and never moved. He sleeps, and cannot do anything else.
He is dressed entirely in purple (he is the only one of my grandparents still alive). He is quite, but when I come to him to check on him, and speak to him, when he speaks he is very clear and awake, but he can't waste his energies. He is thin as well, and I know he has not much longer. That is when I start to slightly panic, because I don't really know what to do when a person dies, and in my own house. I should involve my parents at least.
I'm very sure he will not leave this bed anymore. And in the main I am okay that he is in my house. And some inside knowledge tells me he has another 150 days left, before he expires. But he is totally in peace.
Later my parents and brothers are here, but the place has changed too, now a big room, two stories, and the upper one is open in the middle, so like a balcony all around. One of our family is up there, the rest below, whites, sterile. Aunt M is also there. And people have tubes, plastic, but very long, which they point up and breathe through or something similar. Eddo is also there.
On the right is a small kitchen. Too small. I can't remember well what happened.
Later food is served from this place, but there is also a box on the floor, knee high, with dvd's, they are mostly series, one is in there many times but it is the second season, the cover is red, and this is for ladies, but a lady present asks after it, and I go through the dvd's to check if it is there, but it is. The dvd's are somehow connected to the food. Maybe soup.
What I can't stand in this situation is that people do things automatically, and don't take time to think things over, they do not contemplate or are mindful of what they do. I think this has to do with the death atmosphere.
6. Line Up of Fantasy Warriors
Fragments. At some point in a dream there was a row of people in a hall, and we could chose from them, like they were pieces for a chess game. But these were real people, and it reminded me of the game Machiavelli. And the most left one I can't remember, but the next one in line was very thing and in the background, and he was a spy, and his name must have been spooks. Then came ladies like warriors or fairies, and knights, some on foot, and at least one on horseback, and this one in plate armor, very impressive, and I would choose that one and the spy. Can't remember the rest of the line up, or who was with me to choose. One person was there to guide the lined up people, who were fantasy. But I can't remember what we needed them for.
And another fragment was when I held a bag of lentils, red or yellow, in my hand, to make food probably.
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