Alone against the World

1. Five Persons

(From notes). Somewhere high up. Five times two. This refers to the number of people. (Something I can't read: dad?). Let fall (and something I can't read). Either let yourself fall or something. And something else that I can't read, but now I seem to remember this was by the beach.

2. Nobody Understands Me

There is something big organized. Maybe a family reunion. Anyway, I have to be there (is this at the coast too? Writing this, it feels like that). Yet, I'm not inclined to come along, because I have other plans and I don't like the socializing with people I can't talk with. It is tiresome.

So we all pack up, there is a whole bunch of us. We get to a big room, which is not really a room, more of a space, with walls, but not really a roof, and the way we enter is not really a door, but rather there is no wall. So we park in front and unload the cars and place all the foods on the tables, long tables, more or less in a U shape. Actually, the space looks like a school's playground a bit.

Everyone knows what is going on and acts accordingly. Of course it is different for me and I feel out of place. That is why the following happens.

At some point, my mother asks me to carry this or that food that they prepared and carried along. I don't want to. The main reason is that I will not be eating of it. It makes no sense for me to help with all this since I have no connection with it, I will not join the eating. Yet, they expect me to be there and help. I can't stand it, and I suddenly get very angry. Mad, almost. I'm almost raving.

In this dream, we definitely go to the sea. So, the sea must be nearby, but I'm not sure I've seen it in the dream.

I walk away after the conflict. Evidently, I took the foods and put it on the table. I got angry, and then left, not wanting to hear anyone about it. I sit down myself a distance from the rest. Alone. Where I am more comfortable. I eat something here, on my own. Something Asian.
All the people that are here are old, and now that I think about it, they are all grannies, or at least a generation older than me.

They keep talking about it among themselves and I feel very agitated. I feel like moving to the next room, where I'd not be bothered so much.

In the same dream, I see behind me a samurai suit, more than one actually. There is a very fancy one and a simple one in grey overtones. I immediately go for the simple grey one, that suits me alright. I consider the expensive one for a while, but decide to stick with my first thought. And I put the armor on. I don't know what I'm going to use it for. This is more or less where the dream ends.

3. Bear Breasts in the Subway

We are on the subway. All in one compartment. Rather broad and lots of room. Driving, but no focus on the outside. All the people in the cabin are people I know. On my left sits someone, and a girl next to her. On my right sits Bale and two other people next to her. Opposite to my right sit two people I also know. On the left, by the connecting door are also people, but in the background. The cabin is more or less empty. Wooden chairs.

At some point, some guy on my right has the guts to ask the young girl on my left if she would be so kind as to show us her breasts. It was a sexist comment. But everybody was waiting for something like this, and I am actually annoyed that I did not speak up first, so when the girl lifts her top and uncovers her small breasts, I ask her in turn "is there any chance I could touch these?" Of course, the answer is no, but she is not taken aback by the question, as if she would rather like to be bad, but can't because of so many people watching. Me, on the other hand, because someone is sitting between us, I feel there is too much distance. If I'd be sitting next to her I could just touch her without asking.

The girl has brown curly hair and is small. She is pretty.

When I give my remark, the other people on my right start to laugh, as if they laugh with me, and someone gives a comment, something with 'Dutch', like "is that the Dutch guy?" or rather "that is the Dutch guy" indicating that people expect this kind of behaviour from me.

So, on goes the commenting, and Keva across where we sit, just opposite, sees that she indeed would like some form of intimacy but is a bit ashamed of it. And he asks: "but you do have plans with someone?" This would have been a reference to me. No answer to that, it was just to confirm the situation.