40% Human

1. Guided to a House

Quite a dark dream. Night. City. Top of the city, when the dream starts. Someone, I think a girl, says I have to come with her. She drags me through the streets, run downhill through the city. She practically runes - she is that fired up about what she wants to show me. I follow as I can't do anything else.

We cross some streets left and right and come to one in particular to our right. She takes me to one particular house, which seems very bright, well-lighted. We go in (or she knocks on the door?). People let us in. It feels like this is the house of foreign people, from abroad. When we go in, we're immediately in the living room, which is also very small. This is quite confronting, as I don't feel I have the space to move. Yellow, ocher, very light inside, which feels good. I just wait for what happens. Foreign people, maybe a community, talk by themselves, I don't overhear their conversation. (The room reminds me of a art gallery in Herent where I have been once to listen to poetry, but now it also reminds me of a place I lived, in Kessel-lo, because, when you enter, you come right into the living room, which I don't like.) Their is a big window in front, next to the door. And I think: people outside must be able to see everything that happens here, which unsettled me. This because of the light inside the house, and the big window which was almost the length of the wall. The small room contained a sofa, and with that it was full. Behind the sofa was more room, but private. I didn't go there. I suppose I can sit there and I do. She does too when she comes back.

Then I can't really remember what happens. Maybe the scenery changes somewhat and the place remains the same, but the city all around changes. Now all is dark, and flat and deep blue, indigo, watery. More space in the city. Taller buildings. Different world. More desolate, houses not so cramped to each other. Not so much houses now but more apartments. Everything looks cold and distance.

Now, those foreign people start to explain and I start to understand. At some point I am told that only 40% is still human in this city, or world. All the rest alien, or taken over.

Now, we're outside, and with this knowledge, a group larger than before, all still human and wanting to run away, flee. I miss a part of the dream here. At some point we get split up. We're always on the run, always the same direction, too. There's danger. They hunt us. But the people I am with are full of light in this dark city. And they know what to do. I mostly just follow.

At one point they go ahead and I stay behind a little because I have business to do. There is Hafr. She expected me. (Quite frustrating not remembering the whole dream...) She takes me to a place on the streets where we can be alone. Not really a back alley, but near a big cross-roads. But no-one is there. Although I fear, the aliens on the other side of the road can see us from their apartment blocks. I know what to do though, and I penetrate her. I have sex with Hafr, but it is not exciting, so in the open and on the run. I have to leave early too, catch up with the rest. She'll be staying behind though. (Maybe Hafr was also the girl guiding me in the first place?)

In a Side Alley

1. This is how it is Done

(dream from yesterday)

I am with Woli. He and I go to the back of a shop, in the night where I, or we, know to meet a girl, some girls, when they finish work. And they come out and see us and I face them and hand over something to one girl, despite the fact that other people, Woli and colleagues of the girl, are watching. And she reacts smiling, backs away, but is radiant and laughs. Which is positive.

Immortality

1. Finally Immortal

I was outside coming from the shop when I realised I was finally immortal. This had a very liberating effect on me. It was light outside, I was in the city. And I thought: now I don't have to go to work anymore. And the next moment I thought: no, I still have to eat and so on, so I need the money. This was disappointing.

2. Explaining my Bed

I was on my bed, and at the same time I was not. No-one was lying on the bed. It was light, and evening at the same time. I was explaining where I got my bed from, because it came from another house, the frame and the mattress from somewhere else, with a history. I explained to someone, but I saw no-one. I explained in English.

3. Haunting

I dreamed that I was dead, but I didn't really realise yet as I was still roaming the Earth.

4. Shuffling

Someone reprimanded me on shuffling. A female colleague must have said this to me that she didn't like me doing that. Not polite. Must have been in a public or professional place. (I remember yesterday in the sandwich bar, the girl that tended to me, she shuffled, and I thought, ah, I'm not the only one; maybe it was this place. But at the same time it wasn't.)

5. X-rays

There was a wall behind me, I am in a small corridor (now I think I can link it to passages from the book Nachtzug nach Lissabon). I, or someone else, played with x-rays, and I saw or I tried to see myself, I saw part of my ribcage, but only vaguely. We had to do our best to see something. But it was eerie. The colour blue, green. Shadowy. (yesterday, I read on x-rays, and cancer research.)

Fish in the Shelter

1. The Fallout Shelter with a Pool of Live Fish

(Main dream.)

We're travelling. Four or five of us. Almost night. We have to camp for the night. We come to a green, climb down to it. Transition from civilization to nature. The field slopes. We go up. At the end is a road. We meet someone there, who happens to be there. He warns us. And it is true, people are after us, so we have to hide. He gives us directions. We go all the way back to the wall where we climbed down. Before that a long stretch of road or tunnel led to the wall, we were on top of the wall. It used to be a train rail.

There's a secret passage to a shelter. We descend. It is quite big down there. Long. We wander around. You could spend 24 hours here. It is built to spend a long time in, though. High ceiling, all concrete. Though it also looks like it is carved in the rocks. We go one way, which is further down the hallway under the green. I see a window, which surprises me. It looks very old and rusty. You can actually look outside. What you see is the view from a basement window. Though, the window is quite large. Closed, no-one will see us, because this is still beneath the surface. Yet, natural light comes in from the window. You could climb up through it and escape.

We go back a little to inspect. That is where I see the pool. Fresh water. Or more like water that got there because it drips, like in a cave. This particular part really looks like a cave. The pool is like a side chamber to our left. There's fish in the pool. I can't believe it. And quite big ones. Different kinds. The more I look, the more I see.

I wonder where these fish come from. Did someone put them in? Or did they just grow in there because there was water? Like an egg was already there when the water was there?

I wonder, is this the time to jump in? But I don't like the feeling of the fish when I go in the water. It looks too cold too. Dark and cold.

(That's where the dream stops.)

2. Yellow Stone of Love

Me, my two brothers and Beha, who used to be a neighbour. We're in a street, it is quite dark. The street is in a higher place in the city. All streets run parallel to each other. Rows of houses. We are in one house, but what interests us is the house to our left. Our house is like a shop.

The neighbour's house is uninhabited, and marked with yellow. All kinds of rumours about this house. They say there is a yellow stone of love built in the front wall. There is a narrow band of yellow wall on the right side of the house, right next to the door. For this reason, it is also called the yellow house of love.

Beha says it is not a stone but a piece of tupperware that was cemented in and left there by mistake, they forgot it.

Of course, when he says that, I start to look. Maybe I see it, high up, but I can't be sure. It will remain a mystery. (The house reminds me of the one that burned down next to the museum, where I pass by every day, because it was barricaded and now it is painted.)

You can't go in the house, it is barricaded. With police like ribbon.

We go away. Meet other people on our way. Cross a road. Nighttime. Fetch something to eat, we come to a square. It is still dark, but people sit there, in the pubs and on the square having drinks. I carry a platter of deep fried calamari. I don't know where I got it from. I share it with everyone.

In the meantime, we've seen the house on the back as well. And there, it is decorated with strings. Nice white ropes from the building to the street, as if to hold the building. Hold it straight, support it, or hold it down. When we see that, we also see how the house has strings on the front side, which it didn't have before, but now it becomes clear why it should have that. Because it is on both sides. Some serve a clear purpose of holding the building, others don't at all. The white stands out.

We go around the square and there at a table we see friends sitting and eating. Family. Two people. Uncle Kola. He's on the right. I sit down. The other people settle around.

There's two bowls with food, we also eat from it. In one, I think, actually, in both, is penis, but cut in little pieces, cooked and served cold. So every piece looks and feels like a very small penis, the size of a finger bone. I eat one and like it. I eat more. Then the second bowl comes. And I still eat, I am about the only one still eating. But after a while I am fed up with it. But I can't stop. But I don't like it anymore. The thought of eating penis just comes to live too much. I have to stop.

3. Neighbour's House

Parents' home, daylight. I go to the neighbours, not Beha, but Hafi and Brfi. Go around there house, which is a side I seldom see. And look inside when I am there, to see if I see any of the girls. I see there shadow or reflection.

4. Kid Learns to Write

I'm home, but doesn't look like home. Small, long, part outside. My brother N and me are on the floor, there is a computer. I look up something on the net. The screen is black, but information comes. I check this website. Find only little information. After a while I think, I could have clicked 'forum' and see if there's more information, but by that time it is too late already. I leave it for what it is.

A kid comes. He sits in front of me. Wants to look up something on the computer. But he is still learning how to write. So I help him. He holds the pen and writes in front of the keyboard. Which is also black. Though the room is light. What he writes comes on the screen, which is black. And the letters are marked in red, and sometimes they go away, so you don't see them at all. And it is a different screen than before. Not a computer screen, it stands beneath it. It might be the computer itself with an over large display, that shows the writing. 

The kid writes very nicely. The more he writes the more spelling mistakes he makes. My brother wants to help him. But I am patient, so we wait until he has written everything. This must have been a written request of some kind. Kid looks up expectantly at us. We look at his writing on the computer. Difficult to make out, some characters we can see, others we can't. Some light up, others don't. All in a random order. Difficult to make sense of. Number 49?

I leave, because I have to be somewhere. I cross the Ladeuze square, so the home may be linked to my actual place of living. And I go all the way to the other square behind it, just in front of the park, where I find Pi who has a restaurant where I go to have lunch. But in reality his restaurant is elsewhere in town. It looks different too, like a butcher's. I go in and ask for six sandwiches. I see he has some, dark bread. Not my favourite, but they can do for what I need them. I need them now. Pi says he has none, it is still early, you see, not eleven o'clock yet. Quarter to. He wants to sell me something else. I say no. Go out. Tries to sell me something else. I say no again. He says: if it is tarara, then it is tarara.

I take some other route back home, because I know another place where I might get what I need.

Nasi Goreng

1. Rice with Sambal

I enter the kitchen, people are seated, long table, simple room, one side feels open, though room reminds me of my parent's kitchen. Not many people. Quite, feels like a monastery. White. People are seated on the closed side, which would be the cooking side.

Different plates with rice are on the table. Different sizes of portion. All are mixed with sambal. I'm a bit surprised. This looks spicy. The biggest portion is at the other end of the table, for someone who is not there. Or at least, I don't see him.

I go around the table to where the rice is and get myself some. But I take only a little, only a handful. My plate also looks like a saucer more than a plate. Evidently, there's sambal on my rice, you can't take it without. And I add some fried onions (bawang goreng), too, until the lot is covered. Very small dish.

2. The Spanish Girl I have been Expecting

In the bookshop, looks like real. Other colleague or colleagues there. Girl comes who I had expected. It is the Spanish girl with long black hair that I keep running in to, though never spoken to, I always see her on her bicycle with two of her friends. She has been in the shop once, since then it happens. Now she was there. My colleague, Tama I suppose, is also there, but I want to talk to her in private. Tama seems to notice, she sees what it means, I talk to the girl, she leaves the shop. Don't know what it was about. The talk was rather long and varied, don't know about the consequences...

Gentle Kidnapping

1. Painter Brothers

I look from the neighbours' place to a wall where two people are painting. They look my way, but don't see me. The have many buckets full of paint. Different colours, blue, red, green. One is tall, the other is not. In the course of their work they appear to be brothers. I see them at work. The tall one answers the other one that you should not mix the paints, we have not enough buckets for that.

2. Dear in the Woods

I am at a place that feels familiar, is bright, maybe a city, or a house with friends. Anyway, along comes a car and takes me away. In the car I realize I am being kidnapped. A lean man in dark clothes drives. Quite posh, all of this.

We drive a long way. I don't say anything, am curious where I'm being taken.

Drive through fields, nature, further away, woods. Downhill. Further down is where everyone else is. This is a small park, a centre, lots of animals, brown fur, most look like dear or harts.

Once I get out I get away. I work my way back, on foot, more people are with me. I struggle. The road is different, there is no road, but rocks, and we have to climb over and around them. Some are slippery. It is dark now, outside. After a while, I go on on my own, if I wait for the others, it will take too much time.

3. Two Girls in Red

Inside, kitchen. Simple, only a table. Two girls, friends, are there. They look gorgeous, I like to be with them. I linger at the table. They do whatever they were doing. I watch. The eat or are preparing food. At some point they turn their back to me to get something from a cupboard. I go towards them and put my arms round their backs. They like it. To smooth it out I also say: both of you have very nice dresses.

They are dressed the same, more or less, both a red gown, with dots or other similar patterns in black or dark blue. Strikes me. One of the reminds me of Mavo, the other one of a girl I know worked in the supermarket were I sometimes go. (Never made contact.) I don't want to let go, it is nice and warm. But they go back to the table, sit down and eat.

Night Promenade to Ice Terminal

1. Ice Terminal

Long promenade, feels high, and possibly at the coast, reminds me of Scheveningen or The Hague in Holland, also atmosphere of London, maybe because of the people who are around, walking with me. The way we walk is back to where we came from. Dark blue. Dark in general, but a good feeling, relaxed.

In the end we come to a terminal, possibly a train.

No, we are visiting someone. Along the promenade, I meet someone I know, this person says if I go that way, which is further down the road but in my feeling back, I should call on this person. Maybe the name is Nick or something. I don't know him. When the person says this, I see a tall city building, upper middle class. Place where a wizard would live. The man is a skater, skateboard.

By the time I get there, I'm not alone anymore, at least three other people are with me. And the promenad ends in a T, but the end is not a street, though it might have been at some point. It is an ice-skating arena. Very big. People skating on it. Fun.

We continue. Then we're inside. This is the same place, but it changes, and now it is a terminal (also, the place I come from was not the beginning of the dream). (I can link this place with a place I have dreamed before. Last time This was Gent, and I also came from Holland and I tried to get back.) Now, again, we have to decide which way we are going.

2. Shop Dream

(A late dream.) I am in the shop. It looks like it does in real. Turquoise colour.

3. Chocolate Sausage Bun

We're at a table. Eating something. Two people from England, or at least from abroad, who don't know about Belgian culture, are eating something which looks like a sausage roll. Conversation in English. There's more than one roll, but only one left by now.

The setting is close up, like the dream from a few days back where I had another dream about food. Again, this was lucid, much light. All packed. High table, maybe outside. Maybe by the sea.

When they come to the last roll, maybe its three foreign people, they start guessing what they're eating. The last one tries, and he or she (not clear) says that (I think she) it has chocolate in it. I'm surprised, because it is supposed to be meat. But when she says it or thinks about it, I also see the menu list, in orange and yellow. Printed letters.

When I taste it myself, I am surprised to find that it is indeed chocolate. Strange combination I think.