1. Day Out Cycling
We are cycling in the country side, D is there. We're not far out of town, Leuven, this might be Kessel-lo or Heverlee, in the dream I recognize the surroundings, I've been here before. Calm and peaceful, light, by day. Small group of people taking the same route. Through woods and over hills, sometimes near the road. Sandy paths. Reminds me of Kesselberg. I can't remember exactly what happened. The group of people might have been a class, I suppose they're all younger than me.
Later I am at home of parents and there is a point at which I have to go to the bathroom, there are three toilets. Visitors are in the house, I'm alone in the living for a while and think this is the best time to go to the toilet, but when I go to the one which is next to the front door I see it is not in the same position, and it is more or less in the living room, so if I sit here I am exposed. I sit down, but am not at ease, then when I hear my mother talking I assume she will enter the living room and there will be other people, so I finish without having gone and stand up so that no one sees me. Dore must have been among the people, D and N.
2. Exclusive Bar
We're near the beach, my brothers and friends are here, we are at a bar, there are about three sections in this bar, one has red and white tables, the section closest to the bar is the most exclusive. The bar is built on the top of a hill or even mountain, highest place in the surroundings, but all windows look to the sea.
For some reason I am not allowed to sit down, but am coerced into serving, I don't know why, I don't even know where we are, and my friends are here but I can't sit with them. I do what I am told, I can take that job. At one table sit my brothers and T&B, and there is another table where Vide and Pesl and possibly Dofo sit. It is quite a challenge.
A long time in the dream it is about this, serving. Then something happens, because lunch time arrives and people get out and leave the place for a while. But first this happens that I go back to the bar, which is the darkest place, but it has a cozy atmosphere. And two other servants are there, a man and a woman, my age or a bit younger even, they seem to be more at ease and know the place. That is clear from what happens too. The two are not connected. I think it is the girl who tells me there is land for sale across the Vos, or Voske, which means fox. And I don't understand, because I don't know the name of that piece of land and I look out of the window. The girl servant explains I have to tell the customers, they might be interested to buy this land.
When I look out I see a patch of land, but I am confused, because originally where she said the land would be I would have expected the sea. And I ask her why she does not say the land is across the sea and not across het Voske. But to her the sea does not count I think, moreover the sea is only a sort of canal or harbour like a tongue coming inland. It is small. There is more land, to the left there is no sea at all.
She has a piece of paper on which the same is depicted.
This is then the time of lunch time and the man servant, who might be older than us, has already left, which is against the rules, but he has gone out, his own risk I tell myself. Then for some reason the girl wants to go out and down the stairs as well, and at first I don't want to, but then I can't see any harm in it, because sometimes you have to take a risk, and it means I can be with her for some time. So even if I am afraid I go with her, she leads, then I lead. We are going down the same way as everyone else, but because we are late in leaving, we are the only ones on the stairs. It is a steep and narrow way down. The first part is like a tunnel because it is under the building or through the mountain wall, but then it is on the slope of the mountain. We run, we have fun. Hedged grow tall on the sides. I take the lead then and at some point turn around and kiss or hug her briefly, all in the spur of the moment. Once we are down, maybe we cross some backyards but we end by a road, which T crosses where we come from, here the land is flat, all is sea level. And she goes out and crosses the road in her enthusiasm, but I am wary and don't dare to venture further. All is light and the colours are of a good quality. All the time I am afraid we will get caught. What we do is against the rules. There is grass downstairs and it was a long way, and it feels like freedom when we arrive there, but I'm not comfortable with it.
I tell her we should head back, we were late already, we don't have the same amount of time as the others. So we go back up the way we came, she comes back. She goes in front. Then I see that everyone is turning back. I see the man servant going up as well, he is just before the crowd, but I know that we are all in trouble now, because we could not leave our place, and if we are not at the bar before any folk arrive how can we serve them, we will be sanctioned. I realize we're already too late. And I can't hurry past the people ascending, because you have to be kind, they have children and all. But the girl manages and she is not far behind the man servant, and they will be too late, but not much.
I let a family with kids pass, orange, they all go through the tunnel. The reason why I lose time is also because when I saw the trouble I tried to hurry and took the wrong stairs up, which were wider and more to the left, but they lead somewhere else. That happens when you don't know the place. So I have to turn back and queue up with the normal people, with the customers and families, I am patient now and don't hurry. I lost time, I can't make good now.
I go up the stairs. When I am finally through there is a small back room where it is dark before you enter the bar itself. I leave the stairs and pass through that back room when the manager appears from the dark and stops me and starts to chide me, with all right and I realize that. He is angry. I can't blame him. He tells me I'm late. I say I know. Every word he says is clear and sounds like in reality. He has short white blond hair, is my height, but a bit older and has a bit more shape. He is stern. He holds me, his hand on my arm I think. This is very lucid, though I am not completely aware of dreaming. Early in the discussion I try to tell him I'm not that late, but he says that it does not matter how late you are, if you are late you are late. He tells me he had expected different, and that he runs an exclusive bar and the bar tenders or servants are supposed to be there when there are customers. He feels very blemished by what we have done. I have no intel on the others, I don't know how they fared, I don't see them either, but what he tells me I take and don't argue with him. I fear he will make me go home because I failed him, but I keep a strong attitude. I don't want him to send me home, though I don't tell him that, because that would make him more angry, but if he would send me home, than I would feel completely beaten and ashamed, and I don't want to be sent away home where all my friends can see it. So I want to keep my honour. Therefore, when he starts speaking as if he has no more need of him, I humbly ask him if I still have to work for him, if he would like me to help him in the afternoon, since I can at least do that, whether I was late or not. So in the end, after sweet talking him indirectly, I somehow manipulate him with words I can make him ask me to stay, I ask him whether he wants me to stay and help or to go.
So I stay and when I enter the bar I don't see my colleagues, but I don't give it another thought and do what I'm expected to do. The dream continues a little bit longer, when I stay right at the bar, not among the tables serving. And I feel rather uncomfortable there, at some point a young student customer comes and asks me something about a beer, but I can't answer.
Tuesday, 31 December 2013
Monday, 30 December 2013
Scotland Beach
1. Guide Through the Morning University Building
There is a fragment of dream in which I wake up early in the morning, too early, and I have to get somewhere, and I go to the building which is part of the university, so this must be Leuven in the dream, though nothing is as in reality, but I know the streets in the dream, and I am in the city centre. I meet a lady, she works at the KULeuven, and she knows me from the shop, and she helps me, she helps me to get in and through the hallways inside. I don't want to be seen with her, but I let her.
When we get out the other side of the building, I don't want to be seen with her at all. This place is more busy, as if more public, there is also more light, but still early morning. There is a road right in front, and some large bridge across. And I see Toha who is there with a friend, and he is obviously drunk and has partied the whole night long, and he does not recognize me, but I'm okay with him being the one facing me, he's alright. This was towards the end of the dream.
2. White Handbag
Bale and I walk through a small market, there are lots of stalls, outside, walls, we enter it, almost dark. At a first glance most are about clothes and I'm not interested. At one particular stall Bale is thrown a lady's bag over her shoulder by the merchant and he tries to convince her she should buy it. I immediately think she should not, and she has no mind to either, but she is more gentle than me, though I haven't even spoken my mind. The bag (sacoche) is small and white, the leather is white. In fact it looks good, and the longer I look at it the more I think it suits her, but I won't admit it. She does not want it, and I try support or even force her, which is not necessary, because she is smart enough to not make someone let her buy something she does not need. She has a bag, and this one is big, and brown, but a big one is what she really needs. We did not come here to buy things anyway.
After we pass this we enter a building, this is an in between space, where a market could be set, but there is not. There are pillars holding up the roof. Merchants walk here. Traders. At a table to the right, long table, sit A&D and their son Ro, and they sit there as if waiting for something, in a non permanent way. I go to them. Ro has a white t-shirt, and if I remember correctly he is trying to make something out of it, and I go to him, though his mother does not really want it, but I take the t-shirt and a red marker which happens to be near and I start spelling his name in runes on the shirt. This looks good, Ro is impressed. And it seems harmless enough for the mother not to get worried, which means that initially Ro had other plans of creativity with the t-shirt.
Later I am in a room which looks like a sports hall for martial arts, not a very warm place, some people are about, and I lose contact with Bale, who must still be there. Most people are black skinned here, and most are girls. I don't really notice this at first, but I do when one of them starts to crawl on top of my when I lay down for some reason, and I'm starting to get an idea what this is. I had seen her just the moment before, and she is younger than me, possibly a student, and I know her from somewhere, possibly she's a customer in the shop. Now she comes from behind me, when I lie down, and she crawls on all fours over me, and I like it, there is some sexual tension, which I'm not sure she realizes is there, but when she is close enough, I let myself be drawn by it and reach out and kiss her lips and stick my tongue a little bit in her mouth, and she had apparently not expected that, but at the same time I can't hold back anymore and I come. This is a wet dream.
Possibly in the same dream there was some idea about writing an article about runes and language, Viking Runes, and this must have been in the area with Ro.
3. Brewing Beer and a Beach in Scotland
I'm at the old school where I went as a kid and even younger, so primary school and kindergarten.
If I remember correctly I came here on my bicycle from the other way than I used to in reality. Light, day. I go first to the part of the school which is for the youngest kids, and this is on one side of the road.
I am here because I quickly need to obtain some ginger, for cooking, and something else, which I have now forgotten.
At the back wall of the playground there are two doors with two shops and one of them is one of the sandwich bars where I sometimes go. Only, the left one is this sandwich bar, and the right one is something else.
I am thinking about how I will peel the ginger root, if only small, when I am home, I won't do it here or at my place, but at place of parents. I am taking it with me to their place.
I am too late.
Across the street, where the primary school is, when I leave the other part of the school, I see a lorry. The doors of the school are closed, and this is normal because it is holiday, though I don't remember them having such a heavy gate. The porter is there too. My intention was to go there to see if I could obtain there what I still lacked.
The lorry is in the middle of the way so that I can't pass easily, but I don't anyway, I watch what happens. The driver is unloading bottles of beer, and the porter has opened a small door within the large gate, and this is a little bit open, for the beer must be brought in. Already I know they have a cellar with beer in the school. The porter is the former director of the school where I did my secondary school.
I am happy they are busy, because of that the door is open and I can sneak in. One slight moment I am considering the fact that I may not get back out when I go in, but then I decide that this is something I should worry about later, not now. And this is a new trend in my personality too, but it causes me to make decisions more rapidly and efficient.
So I sneak in. Of course I'm not completely at ease. There is someone else on the inside, or maybe two other people, and one of them speaks about the beer cellar. Nothing of interest happens here, but the beer is important.
The scene changes, and now we are on the roof of the school and there is a big container there and the top is open, so you can easily see what it is and apparently they are home brewing beer. I'm not sure this is completely legal, but I don't say anything. They open some of the bottles that were just delivered, but that lot mixes with what they brew themselves, so I don't really see the link anymore, these were two different scenes.
Same dream still, but can't remember how it happened. Someone is making a leaflet for the holidays, there must be a connection with the school, but I'm not sure now, maybe it is a teacher organizing this. People can choose a holiday inland or at sea, but the beach is emphasized and that is all I see when the dream focuses on the location and the person doing the recon. All of it is in Scotland, but the beach is beautiful and this person is there and he is the only person there, which is beautiful, this is because it is holidays now. A little further you can see an island and this is almost completely beach, it is ideal. I would want to go there myself, and maybe I am making plans in my head when I see it.
Again something about a bottle of beer.
Possibly in a room, later, I shake a bottle and try to spray it to the others who are present, who they are I don't remember.
4. Grapefruit Treat
There is a class with small children, and they chant the runes. This is in or at a swimming pool. Can't remember the context or details.
There is food in the hallway, this is some kind of taiji camp, and Tivd is there.
Some of my favourite foods are here, this has been taken care of, especially for me, I don't understand why. When we walk the halls from where we were busy to where we will pause to eat, we pass a corner and there is on a table many pieces of grapefruit. I am happy and take a piece. Others do too, which means they are happy with it too, though this is done especially for me.
I have also bread in my hands. And on the plates there is food, which I can't remember now, but the chips is missing, only they will be bringing this too. All is perfect. I am stunned.
There is little room at the table.
Something about there still being work, and something about settling a bill of school teachers and the director, can't remember what this is about.
At my return at the table there is the grapefruit (so this was earlier).
Same dream possibly.
Outside, I join, again for eating. A long table beneath some sort of long booth, as if we all sit at a wall, the whole distance. And they are sectioned per pair. And you need to plug in something to make ready your dinner. And the plugs or sockets are on top, so you have to reach up. There are two right next to each other, and so for each booth, as it were. My dad sits on my right, someone else sits on my left. I try first, the others follow. Then things become difficult, because there are only two sockets and we are three. Many more people sit at the table, or wall, but for us there is only these two, and they both use it, so I am left out just when I want to use it to prepare my food for real, so I have to wait, nothing to do about it. There is soup in our bowls albeit not a lot. Cutlery I remember. This is all towards the end of the dream.
There is a fragment of dream in which I wake up early in the morning, too early, and I have to get somewhere, and I go to the building which is part of the university, so this must be Leuven in the dream, though nothing is as in reality, but I know the streets in the dream, and I am in the city centre. I meet a lady, she works at the KULeuven, and she knows me from the shop, and she helps me, she helps me to get in and through the hallways inside. I don't want to be seen with her, but I let her.
When we get out the other side of the building, I don't want to be seen with her at all. This place is more busy, as if more public, there is also more light, but still early morning. There is a road right in front, and some large bridge across. And I see Toha who is there with a friend, and he is obviously drunk and has partied the whole night long, and he does not recognize me, but I'm okay with him being the one facing me, he's alright. This was towards the end of the dream.
2. White Handbag
Bale and I walk through a small market, there are lots of stalls, outside, walls, we enter it, almost dark. At a first glance most are about clothes and I'm not interested. At one particular stall Bale is thrown a lady's bag over her shoulder by the merchant and he tries to convince her she should buy it. I immediately think she should not, and she has no mind to either, but she is more gentle than me, though I haven't even spoken my mind. The bag (sacoche) is small and white, the leather is white. In fact it looks good, and the longer I look at it the more I think it suits her, but I won't admit it. She does not want it, and I try support or even force her, which is not necessary, because she is smart enough to not make someone let her buy something she does not need. She has a bag, and this one is big, and brown, but a big one is what she really needs. We did not come here to buy things anyway.
After we pass this we enter a building, this is an in between space, where a market could be set, but there is not. There are pillars holding up the roof. Merchants walk here. Traders. At a table to the right, long table, sit A&D and their son Ro, and they sit there as if waiting for something, in a non permanent way. I go to them. Ro has a white t-shirt, and if I remember correctly he is trying to make something out of it, and I go to him, though his mother does not really want it, but I take the t-shirt and a red marker which happens to be near and I start spelling his name in runes on the shirt. This looks good, Ro is impressed. And it seems harmless enough for the mother not to get worried, which means that initially Ro had other plans of creativity with the t-shirt.
Later I am in a room which looks like a sports hall for martial arts, not a very warm place, some people are about, and I lose contact with Bale, who must still be there. Most people are black skinned here, and most are girls. I don't really notice this at first, but I do when one of them starts to crawl on top of my when I lay down for some reason, and I'm starting to get an idea what this is. I had seen her just the moment before, and she is younger than me, possibly a student, and I know her from somewhere, possibly she's a customer in the shop. Now she comes from behind me, when I lie down, and she crawls on all fours over me, and I like it, there is some sexual tension, which I'm not sure she realizes is there, but when she is close enough, I let myself be drawn by it and reach out and kiss her lips and stick my tongue a little bit in her mouth, and she had apparently not expected that, but at the same time I can't hold back anymore and I come. This is a wet dream.
Possibly in the same dream there was some idea about writing an article about runes and language, Viking Runes, and this must have been in the area with Ro.
3. Brewing Beer and a Beach in Scotland
I'm at the old school where I went as a kid and even younger, so primary school and kindergarten.
If I remember correctly I came here on my bicycle from the other way than I used to in reality. Light, day. I go first to the part of the school which is for the youngest kids, and this is on one side of the road.
I am here because I quickly need to obtain some ginger, for cooking, and something else, which I have now forgotten.
At the back wall of the playground there are two doors with two shops and one of them is one of the sandwich bars where I sometimes go. Only, the left one is this sandwich bar, and the right one is something else.
I am thinking about how I will peel the ginger root, if only small, when I am home, I won't do it here or at my place, but at place of parents. I am taking it with me to their place.
I am too late.
Across the street, where the primary school is, when I leave the other part of the school, I see a lorry. The doors of the school are closed, and this is normal because it is holiday, though I don't remember them having such a heavy gate. The porter is there too. My intention was to go there to see if I could obtain there what I still lacked.
The lorry is in the middle of the way so that I can't pass easily, but I don't anyway, I watch what happens. The driver is unloading bottles of beer, and the porter has opened a small door within the large gate, and this is a little bit open, for the beer must be brought in. Already I know they have a cellar with beer in the school. The porter is the former director of the school where I did my secondary school.
I am happy they are busy, because of that the door is open and I can sneak in. One slight moment I am considering the fact that I may not get back out when I go in, but then I decide that this is something I should worry about later, not now. And this is a new trend in my personality too, but it causes me to make decisions more rapidly and efficient.
So I sneak in. Of course I'm not completely at ease. There is someone else on the inside, or maybe two other people, and one of them speaks about the beer cellar. Nothing of interest happens here, but the beer is important.
The scene changes, and now we are on the roof of the school and there is a big container there and the top is open, so you can easily see what it is and apparently they are home brewing beer. I'm not sure this is completely legal, but I don't say anything. They open some of the bottles that were just delivered, but that lot mixes with what they brew themselves, so I don't really see the link anymore, these were two different scenes.
Same dream still, but can't remember how it happened. Someone is making a leaflet for the holidays, there must be a connection with the school, but I'm not sure now, maybe it is a teacher organizing this. People can choose a holiday inland or at sea, but the beach is emphasized and that is all I see when the dream focuses on the location and the person doing the recon. All of it is in Scotland, but the beach is beautiful and this person is there and he is the only person there, which is beautiful, this is because it is holidays now. A little further you can see an island and this is almost completely beach, it is ideal. I would want to go there myself, and maybe I am making plans in my head when I see it.
Again something about a bottle of beer.
Possibly in a room, later, I shake a bottle and try to spray it to the others who are present, who they are I don't remember.
4. Grapefruit Treat
There is a class with small children, and they chant the runes. This is in or at a swimming pool. Can't remember the context or details.
There is food in the hallway, this is some kind of taiji camp, and Tivd is there.
Some of my favourite foods are here, this has been taken care of, especially for me, I don't understand why. When we walk the halls from where we were busy to where we will pause to eat, we pass a corner and there is on a table many pieces of grapefruit. I am happy and take a piece. Others do too, which means they are happy with it too, though this is done especially for me.
I have also bread in my hands. And on the plates there is food, which I can't remember now, but the chips is missing, only they will be bringing this too. All is perfect. I am stunned.
There is little room at the table.
Something about there still being work, and something about settling a bill of school teachers and the director, can't remember what this is about.
At my return at the table there is the grapefruit (so this was earlier).
Same dream possibly.
Outside, I join, again for eating. A long table beneath some sort of long booth, as if we all sit at a wall, the whole distance. And they are sectioned per pair. And you need to plug in something to make ready your dinner. And the plugs or sockets are on top, so you have to reach up. There are two right next to each other, and so for each booth, as it were. My dad sits on my right, someone else sits on my left. I try first, the others follow. Then things become difficult, because there are only two sockets and we are three. Many more people sit at the table, or wall, but for us there is only these two, and they both use it, so I am left out just when I want to use it to prepare my food for real, so I have to wait, nothing to do about it. There is soup in our bowls albeit not a lot. Cutlery I remember. This is all towards the end of the dream.
Sunday, 29 December 2013
Caged Bear
1. Watering Plants
End of a dream.
Chwe is telling me a story which is some kind of paper she had to prepare, I listen carefully and am caught by it, because it seems to be about the Cathars or at least about some occult group from the Renaissance. After she reads the story, this is inside, in some sort of living room, I don't see any other people but us, but there might be other people around, I feel their presence, I think I am lying comfortably on my belly while she sits up and might be in front of a computer, which is too high for me to see and watch the screen.
So after that she starts explaining the story, maybe because I ask, and she sums up all the elements of the story, and about some she is very proud, I suppose because she thought of them herself. One prominent feature are the Jews in it, they play a large role and are the catalyst for the development of the story. When she says all that I see it as if in a cartoon, I see a picture drawn of two Jews and cart, they are family. Curly hair. She continues to situate the story, it is in the middle 1600s. There is an occult group, of this I can't remember the details. All of this information is real, not fiction, according to the dream. That is why I am interested.
After that I read the text myself, as if to correct, and even the first few paragraphs, I am caught up in it, because they contain so much interesting information, but I know that this is only the introduction to set the story. The story itself is less important to me. There is also the main city in the story which is the centre of the group, and this is called Grande.
I feel inspired to rewrite the text, and another feeling that comes along is that I want to do better than her, while I am not pressed to compete with her, so I struggle with that emotion. I write the text for myself, at that point I am in a different position and behind the computer, maybe on a high stool, and a bit further up in the same room.
To her it was a school task, to me it is a hobby.
Later, also the end, but can't remember what happens between.
There are plants all about me and they are Bale's, I think it is her who is here, or either Chwe. I water them, I have a hose for this.
Maybe the second time I do this from my bed, and the water hose has a very strong pressure, so I try to regulate it, the knob is within reach, Bale is in the glasshouse, which might be what this is, though the first time it was somewhere else which reminds me of the shed in the back yard of parents. There are two knobs or valves to regulate the water pressure. It is already all over the place. I turn the top one knowing it is not the right one, but it lessens all the same, Bale is a bit upset I don't immediately turn the right one, but this one is harder to reach, then I do, and when I do, all is more under control.
My dad is there, and it was raining at some point, possibly the first time.
There is a point in the dream where I am in the kitchen of parents and someone left raw meat there, chunks of beef, I suppose it is Chwe's, and I start making food with it, in particular black bean sauce. Brothers and father are there. The black bean sauce fragment is a decision made with my waking mind.
2. Bear in a Stone Cage in the Kitchen
I am again in the kitchen. Dark, so late evening. Brothers are there. I am about to prepare food. I have a leftover from yesterday, which is beans with tomato sauce (prinsessenboontjes). I have already something prepared to make the vegetables with black bean sauce. Now I add the tomato sauce with the other. Then I put pots and pan on the fires. I have a little bit of trouble with regulating the fire, but I manage.
All the while my brothers are at the table talking.
Something happens, late at night, so that the cooking or at least the eating is postponed. My brothers are in the living room. When I dedicate myself to my pots and pans again, there is also something with a white creamy sauce, and this was the original I seem to remember, as do my brothers, who at that point are back at the table. But I can't remember what happened between.
Later still in the kitchen, there are friends of mine, that I only know in the dream, and not my brothers, they have gone, and they are talking about comic books, so I keep my ears open. It seems to go about fantasy, and I try to add my bit, but I know too little, and they all know each other better, and the comics they are talking about are in specific about the walking dead, and I am not really interested in that. I suppose all the while I am still cooking.
Then with the same people, the scene changes a little, because at the end of the kitchen is a cage, but it is made of stone, and a bear is trapped in it, we watch it. There is not much background information, and less do I remember. I know there is another party outside in the night, but I can't remember what they are doing or why. We should watch the bear. He sometimes comes to the bars of his cage, this is a small square opening in the stone prison. The top seems to be open, but not completely, and he can't escape at all. I'm not afraid at all. Maybe I feel pity.
The stone cage is at one time further away, and sunk in a deeper level of earth, so that it looks as if the kitchen is open at the side of the veranda and the cage is at the shed in the yard, but the cage is ever connected with the place we are in, but this gives the funny feeling of being in a place that is both inside and outside. The brick stones of the cage are old, and that building must be old. From when this place was something else.
Only at the end the bear escapes. And I am almost thinking this is part of the plan. There was some sort of time schedule that the outside party busied themselves with, maybe with midnight as a reference point. When the time is there the bear escapes. He is outside, the friends are afraid, I am not but understand the situation, and I try to track the bear, from inside the house.
The friends are all gothic electro type, a bit culty. When I go to my room, I hear music, and I suspect it comes from my own room. I go there and hear music, it is electro, but nice, I like it. It has suddenly turned on and this is linked with the bear escape. I know this is important, then I try to turn off the player, but it does not work, and then I see, the radio who had indeed turned itself on is linked with cables to another smaller one on top of a dressing table in the hallway. And this one has orange digital letterings on a display and it shows what is playing, and part of the name of the title is 'code' and part of the band name is 'servants of'. I can turn off this one first, and then my own radio, and that works. It played by itself, which reminds me of witchery.
After that I go to the bathroom and look through the window into the night to see if I see the bear being still around. That is the end of the dream, so nothing conclusive.
There is a fragment of dream where people, maybe the electro friends make a clay life size puppet of Homer Simpson, at that point naked still. This is in the corner of the kitchen, by the fridge.
End of a dream.
Chwe is telling me a story which is some kind of paper she had to prepare, I listen carefully and am caught by it, because it seems to be about the Cathars or at least about some occult group from the Renaissance. After she reads the story, this is inside, in some sort of living room, I don't see any other people but us, but there might be other people around, I feel their presence, I think I am lying comfortably on my belly while she sits up and might be in front of a computer, which is too high for me to see and watch the screen.
So after that she starts explaining the story, maybe because I ask, and she sums up all the elements of the story, and about some she is very proud, I suppose because she thought of them herself. One prominent feature are the Jews in it, they play a large role and are the catalyst for the development of the story. When she says all that I see it as if in a cartoon, I see a picture drawn of two Jews and cart, they are family. Curly hair. She continues to situate the story, it is in the middle 1600s. There is an occult group, of this I can't remember the details. All of this information is real, not fiction, according to the dream. That is why I am interested.
After that I read the text myself, as if to correct, and even the first few paragraphs, I am caught up in it, because they contain so much interesting information, but I know that this is only the introduction to set the story. The story itself is less important to me. There is also the main city in the story which is the centre of the group, and this is called Grande.
I feel inspired to rewrite the text, and another feeling that comes along is that I want to do better than her, while I am not pressed to compete with her, so I struggle with that emotion. I write the text for myself, at that point I am in a different position and behind the computer, maybe on a high stool, and a bit further up in the same room.
To her it was a school task, to me it is a hobby.
Later, also the end, but can't remember what happens between.
There are plants all about me and they are Bale's, I think it is her who is here, or either Chwe. I water them, I have a hose for this.
Maybe the second time I do this from my bed, and the water hose has a very strong pressure, so I try to regulate it, the knob is within reach, Bale is in the glasshouse, which might be what this is, though the first time it was somewhere else which reminds me of the shed in the back yard of parents. There are two knobs or valves to regulate the water pressure. It is already all over the place. I turn the top one knowing it is not the right one, but it lessens all the same, Bale is a bit upset I don't immediately turn the right one, but this one is harder to reach, then I do, and when I do, all is more under control.
My dad is there, and it was raining at some point, possibly the first time.
There is a point in the dream where I am in the kitchen of parents and someone left raw meat there, chunks of beef, I suppose it is Chwe's, and I start making food with it, in particular black bean sauce. Brothers and father are there. The black bean sauce fragment is a decision made with my waking mind.
2. Bear in a Stone Cage in the Kitchen
I am again in the kitchen. Dark, so late evening. Brothers are there. I am about to prepare food. I have a leftover from yesterday, which is beans with tomato sauce (prinsessenboontjes). I have already something prepared to make the vegetables with black bean sauce. Now I add the tomato sauce with the other. Then I put pots and pan on the fires. I have a little bit of trouble with regulating the fire, but I manage.
All the while my brothers are at the table talking.
Something happens, late at night, so that the cooking or at least the eating is postponed. My brothers are in the living room. When I dedicate myself to my pots and pans again, there is also something with a white creamy sauce, and this was the original I seem to remember, as do my brothers, who at that point are back at the table. But I can't remember what happened between.
Later still in the kitchen, there are friends of mine, that I only know in the dream, and not my brothers, they have gone, and they are talking about comic books, so I keep my ears open. It seems to go about fantasy, and I try to add my bit, but I know too little, and they all know each other better, and the comics they are talking about are in specific about the walking dead, and I am not really interested in that. I suppose all the while I am still cooking.
Then with the same people, the scene changes a little, because at the end of the kitchen is a cage, but it is made of stone, and a bear is trapped in it, we watch it. There is not much background information, and less do I remember. I know there is another party outside in the night, but I can't remember what they are doing or why. We should watch the bear. He sometimes comes to the bars of his cage, this is a small square opening in the stone prison. The top seems to be open, but not completely, and he can't escape at all. I'm not afraid at all. Maybe I feel pity.
The stone cage is at one time further away, and sunk in a deeper level of earth, so that it looks as if the kitchen is open at the side of the veranda and the cage is at the shed in the yard, but the cage is ever connected with the place we are in, but this gives the funny feeling of being in a place that is both inside and outside. The brick stones of the cage are old, and that building must be old. From when this place was something else.
Only at the end the bear escapes. And I am almost thinking this is part of the plan. There was some sort of time schedule that the outside party busied themselves with, maybe with midnight as a reference point. When the time is there the bear escapes. He is outside, the friends are afraid, I am not but understand the situation, and I try to track the bear, from inside the house.
The friends are all gothic electro type, a bit culty. When I go to my room, I hear music, and I suspect it comes from my own room. I go there and hear music, it is electro, but nice, I like it. It has suddenly turned on and this is linked with the bear escape. I know this is important, then I try to turn off the player, but it does not work, and then I see, the radio who had indeed turned itself on is linked with cables to another smaller one on top of a dressing table in the hallway. And this one has orange digital letterings on a display and it shows what is playing, and part of the name of the title is 'code' and part of the band name is 'servants of'. I can turn off this one first, and then my own radio, and that works. It played by itself, which reminds me of witchery.
After that I go to the bathroom and look through the window into the night to see if I see the bear being still around. That is the end of the dream, so nothing conclusive.
There is a fragment of dream where people, maybe the electro friends make a clay life size puppet of Homer Simpson, at that point naked still. This is in the corner of the kitchen, by the fridge.
Saturday, 28 December 2013
Aettir Rune Chant
1. Rune Blessing of the House
Old playground of school and somebody who is using the lockers that are on the walls alongside the square. We are somehow involved in this, even if I don't want to or don't participate at all. D is there. The lockers close like microwave ovens do.
Later in the same dream I am singing runes with D. We come from outside and it is dark, but we have a mission to complete, which he wants me to do, and I am the only one who can do it. From outside we somehow get to the back of the house, which now looks very much like the house of parents, but much bigger, more space, and the rooms are adjacent each other in a very orderly way, and moreover they are from lowest to highest, lowest in the back, and highest in front, where we are not, and I am never inside those rooms.
The house is empty except for us two and our father, who will not disturb us. First we do the veranda, and here I chant the runes of the First Aett, and I chant and sign them in pairs. D chants along I think.
After that we do the living room, and here we chant the Second Aett and still per two runes. We do something else here to close or round off something. But I can't remember what.
We are supposed to do Tiwaz and the Third Aett outside, I suppose in front of the house, but we never get there, I am not inclined to do my best in all this and if others don't make me I won't do it.
Dad is still up, so it must be late at night.
Later I go through the veranda and living room again, but when I reenter the veranda from the outside I see a very large pumpkin from which the flesh has been taken. I know this pumpkin, it has been lying here for a long time and now I see it I have some want to eat it. I check it and as I suspect it has a little bit of mould. Because it has no flesh anymore its shape is not nice. It is so big that I would have to use both my arms to hold it, but I would not be able to touch my hands.
2. Exhausted by 4pm
Something about parking a car and taking presents with us. When we forget it we have to go back inside (not sure of this). N and D are here, and there are presents.
We sit on the floor of a shop, ground floor. Liha is in the basement, I am about to go down to look for something. A customer tipped something, not on purpose, but that is what I want to check on, if it is serious.
Ground floor, there are Stco and his wife. Something about his wife, she is also the one doing the talking, says she is tired, like burned out. At some point toward the end of the explanation, maybe it is Stco who does the talking, it is said that An her day only lasts until 4pm, after that she is too tired to do anything. I sympathize with her, though I don't really show it. On the one hand I understand her on the other hand I am thinking that I'm not alone after all.
N is there, something something, sofa.
Old playground of school and somebody who is using the lockers that are on the walls alongside the square. We are somehow involved in this, even if I don't want to or don't participate at all. D is there. The lockers close like microwave ovens do.
Later in the same dream I am singing runes with D. We come from outside and it is dark, but we have a mission to complete, which he wants me to do, and I am the only one who can do it. From outside we somehow get to the back of the house, which now looks very much like the house of parents, but much bigger, more space, and the rooms are adjacent each other in a very orderly way, and moreover they are from lowest to highest, lowest in the back, and highest in front, where we are not, and I am never inside those rooms.
The house is empty except for us two and our father, who will not disturb us. First we do the veranda, and here I chant the runes of the First Aett, and I chant and sign them in pairs. D chants along I think.
After that we do the living room, and here we chant the Second Aett and still per two runes. We do something else here to close or round off something. But I can't remember what.
We are supposed to do Tiwaz and the Third Aett outside, I suppose in front of the house, but we never get there, I am not inclined to do my best in all this and if others don't make me I won't do it.
Dad is still up, so it must be late at night.
Later I go through the veranda and living room again, but when I reenter the veranda from the outside I see a very large pumpkin from which the flesh has been taken. I know this pumpkin, it has been lying here for a long time and now I see it I have some want to eat it. I check it and as I suspect it has a little bit of mould. Because it has no flesh anymore its shape is not nice. It is so big that I would have to use both my arms to hold it, but I would not be able to touch my hands.
2. Exhausted by 4pm
Something about parking a car and taking presents with us. When we forget it we have to go back inside (not sure of this). N and D are here, and there are presents.
We sit on the floor of a shop, ground floor. Liha is in the basement, I am about to go down to look for something. A customer tipped something, not on purpose, but that is what I want to check on, if it is serious.
Ground floor, there are Stco and his wife. Something about his wife, she is also the one doing the talking, says she is tired, like burned out. At some point toward the end of the explanation, maybe it is Stco who does the talking, it is said that An her day only lasts until 4pm, after that she is too tired to do anything. I sympathize with her, though I don't really show it. On the one hand I understand her on the other hand I am thinking that I'm not alone after all.
N is there, something something, sofa.
Friday, 27 December 2013
Sea Fight
1. Sea Monster Fight in the Surf
Somewhere in the Belsenakestraat. There is a fight between two sea monsters, they are controlled by humans, each monster has a boss, I am caught between the two as it were, but I keep my centre. Water is wild around me, like the waves that crush on a rocky beach, clear water. The sea monsters look almost like water dragons, but more real, like big eels, one with more blue, one with more red. I know what it is.
Before that we arrived in the street, but it was not the same as in reality, though this is a perspective I've seen more frequently in other dreams in the past.
There are friends of mother, (can't read my notes), they act a little bit crazy, as if none of those people are normal, but it was not an offensive craziness.
I might be there to babysit, but I'm not sure now.
2. Orca Skin
Same dream.
Belsenakestraat, from where we live we go to somewhere else. On the street itself I am dragging tough orca skins. One real one and everyone detests it. It is a big square lap of skin on the floor, on the street. All this while it rains and the wind blows heavy, and I go get it. I do this because no one else does and I can't leave it there, but at the same time I have another kind of skin with me, that feels very different, but is my personal one. The orca one lies there lost, no one wants it, no one has the courage to go and get it, but when I do, I am almost rejected by the others.
I drag the whole package behind me, together with the other one that I really need, and I also have a yellow hand towel. I throw it somewhere (can't read notes). Here I have a heavy feeling or thinking about Chwe, though she is not in the dream, and nothing seems to be related to her, yet, in the back of my mind I relate the dream to her. There are fir trees, big ones, and slim ones, but very high, more were there before. This must be the back yard of parents, but the pines are now in another place than where they were in reality. I am happy to see that still a few are standing. I start something something, everything will be alright.
I start to explore on my own. Can't remember the rest.
3. Eating all the Gnocchi
I am preparing gnocchi. My dad is here, inside, I want to cook, I want to start, while all the others seem to have time. I already start to eat. I wonder how I should make it, because the more flour is around it the more the sauce thickens, there is spinach and cream. Nobody comes. This might be at the house of parents. And it may even be in the front yard.
After that I am still hungry, that is because I have eaten only a few gnocchi, because they are big and it is supposed to be for the others too, but they don't come, and I am still hungry, so I decide to eat the others too without feeling too bad. I would normally not do this, but at this point I can't care about the future, if the others still want food later, then we simply have to make something new. This is a new in my personality.
My dad and brother D are expecting someone, maybe that is why they stay behind, look out.
4. Too Much Wind
Outside, I got a lift somewhere with a car, and now I have arrived. Maybe badminton.
Small group that something something, parking, crawling (can't read notes well). Lots of wind.
Later at the same crossroads (imagination, not referring to a place in reality). Maybe making a fire. But it does not catch, because there is too much wind.
Then we queue (?) to order food at a stall. This feels the same as being at the coast.
(Can't read my notes).
5. Electricity Hammer
Late dream. I can't remember well, there were people around me and this was inside, excited atmosphere and light, tight space, I have some kind of hammer, but bigger and not really in the shape of a hammer, more a cudgel maybe, and I smash with it, and there is lots of electricity, but the electricity is always present in some way. Powerful weapon.
6. Loyalty Card
Dark, inside, top of a building, central in the room is the till, but it is right in the middle, so you can approach it from all four sides. This seems to be a clothing shop. I am not sure I work here. Things happen.
There is one middle aged man I remember, and later he comes to me to pay, and I am at the same side of the counter as the customers. There is another person working here and he or she is in the middle itself.
Now when this man comes a second time I am the one to settle the bill and we both hang over the counter and I ask him if he has a loyalty card or wants one and he starts completing the form. Then the rest of his family comes, and they all buy things, and before I know it they are all completing forms for loyalty cards, and when I realize I start saying that they might be using one and the same, but I'm not sure this is a good idea because that complicates things for me, so I don't force anything, anyway that thought was superficial because I was slowly waking.
Now at the same time, the daughter is at my side and to my left, and I step a little closer to her and she does not mind, and maybe she reminds me of Magi, and I'm sure I know the girl in the dream from somewhere. She is not awfully pretty, but nice enough, and all the while I try to get closer to her and she even cooperates. At some point I lay my arm about her and she says nothing but does not refuse me either. A bit later I go even further and it is as if our heads lie on top of the counter and I look for her lips, and find them, there is no real kiss, and she does not move at all, but she does not turn me away either. When I realize that I make another move, with my hand this time, and I feel for her breast and I even feel her nipple, and this is nice. And she never pushes me away, but everything rather happens by itself, and it even feels as if she welcomes it or cooperates or helps me. There is one point near the end I want to get into a better position so I tug a bit at her body, but she opens her legs, and I can get on top of her.
They're from Germany or France or Switzerland.
7. New House
There is a last dream, which might just be a hypnagogic something.
I enter my home, which is on an upper floor, and it looks very different than where I live now. White, big window to my left. I know the place, but it is either a long time since I have been here or this is a new house. I can't remember the details.
In the corner behind me there is a line with small pincers, like from Ikea, all in white. I try to remember why it is there.
Somewhere in the Belsenakestraat. There is a fight between two sea monsters, they are controlled by humans, each monster has a boss, I am caught between the two as it were, but I keep my centre. Water is wild around me, like the waves that crush on a rocky beach, clear water. The sea monsters look almost like water dragons, but more real, like big eels, one with more blue, one with more red. I know what it is.
Before that we arrived in the street, but it was not the same as in reality, though this is a perspective I've seen more frequently in other dreams in the past.
There are friends of mother, (can't read my notes), they act a little bit crazy, as if none of those people are normal, but it was not an offensive craziness.
I might be there to babysit, but I'm not sure now.
2. Orca Skin
Same dream.
Belsenakestraat, from where we live we go to somewhere else. On the street itself I am dragging tough orca skins. One real one and everyone detests it. It is a big square lap of skin on the floor, on the street. All this while it rains and the wind blows heavy, and I go get it. I do this because no one else does and I can't leave it there, but at the same time I have another kind of skin with me, that feels very different, but is my personal one. The orca one lies there lost, no one wants it, no one has the courage to go and get it, but when I do, I am almost rejected by the others.
I drag the whole package behind me, together with the other one that I really need, and I also have a yellow hand towel. I throw it somewhere (can't read notes). Here I have a heavy feeling or thinking about Chwe, though she is not in the dream, and nothing seems to be related to her, yet, in the back of my mind I relate the dream to her. There are fir trees, big ones, and slim ones, but very high, more were there before. This must be the back yard of parents, but the pines are now in another place than where they were in reality. I am happy to see that still a few are standing. I start something something, everything will be alright.
I start to explore on my own. Can't remember the rest.
3. Eating all the Gnocchi
I am preparing gnocchi. My dad is here, inside, I want to cook, I want to start, while all the others seem to have time. I already start to eat. I wonder how I should make it, because the more flour is around it the more the sauce thickens, there is spinach and cream. Nobody comes. This might be at the house of parents. And it may even be in the front yard.
After that I am still hungry, that is because I have eaten only a few gnocchi, because they are big and it is supposed to be for the others too, but they don't come, and I am still hungry, so I decide to eat the others too without feeling too bad. I would normally not do this, but at this point I can't care about the future, if the others still want food later, then we simply have to make something new. This is a new in my personality.
My dad and brother D are expecting someone, maybe that is why they stay behind, look out.
4. Too Much Wind
Outside, I got a lift somewhere with a car, and now I have arrived. Maybe badminton.
Small group that something something, parking, crawling (can't read notes well). Lots of wind.
Later at the same crossroads (imagination, not referring to a place in reality). Maybe making a fire. But it does not catch, because there is too much wind.
Then we queue (?) to order food at a stall. This feels the same as being at the coast.
(Can't read my notes).
5. Electricity Hammer
Late dream. I can't remember well, there were people around me and this was inside, excited atmosphere and light, tight space, I have some kind of hammer, but bigger and not really in the shape of a hammer, more a cudgel maybe, and I smash with it, and there is lots of electricity, but the electricity is always present in some way. Powerful weapon.
6. Loyalty Card
Dark, inside, top of a building, central in the room is the till, but it is right in the middle, so you can approach it from all four sides. This seems to be a clothing shop. I am not sure I work here. Things happen.
There is one middle aged man I remember, and later he comes to me to pay, and I am at the same side of the counter as the customers. There is another person working here and he or she is in the middle itself.
Now when this man comes a second time I am the one to settle the bill and we both hang over the counter and I ask him if he has a loyalty card or wants one and he starts completing the form. Then the rest of his family comes, and they all buy things, and before I know it they are all completing forms for loyalty cards, and when I realize I start saying that they might be using one and the same, but I'm not sure this is a good idea because that complicates things for me, so I don't force anything, anyway that thought was superficial because I was slowly waking.
Now at the same time, the daughter is at my side and to my left, and I step a little closer to her and she does not mind, and maybe she reminds me of Magi, and I'm sure I know the girl in the dream from somewhere. She is not awfully pretty, but nice enough, and all the while I try to get closer to her and she even cooperates. At some point I lay my arm about her and she says nothing but does not refuse me either. A bit later I go even further and it is as if our heads lie on top of the counter and I look for her lips, and find them, there is no real kiss, and she does not move at all, but she does not turn me away either. When I realize that I make another move, with my hand this time, and I feel for her breast and I even feel her nipple, and this is nice. And she never pushes me away, but everything rather happens by itself, and it even feels as if she welcomes it or cooperates or helps me. There is one point near the end I want to get into a better position so I tug a bit at her body, but she opens her legs, and I can get on top of her.
They're from Germany or France or Switzerland.
7. New House
There is a last dream, which might just be a hypnagogic something.
I enter my home, which is on an upper floor, and it looks very different than where I live now. White, big window to my left. I know the place, but it is either a long time since I have been here or this is a new house. I can't remember the details.
In the corner behind me there is a line with small pincers, like from Ikea, all in white. I try to remember why it is there.
Thursday, 26 December 2013
Deconstruction of the Shop Till
1. Age
My dad and Tite are sitting on a table to my left, by the window, wall end, and I sit at another small table, maybe this is a restaurant. My brothers sit at my own table. Light.
Tite is talking about Stco, and discussing him with my dad. She says Stco is about her age, and I know that is what she thinks and it was already on my mind to correct her in this, so I say, he is from the year 78. And she turns her head and is surprised by the information. End of dream as far as I know.
2. Pregnant Colleague
Brva is there, in the shop, she is on the ground floor and comes from the children's section and is about to go down the stairs to go back to her own floor, when I meet her and lay my hand on her belly and feel the baby move, her belly moves, you can really feel it. I wonder how a creature so small can make so much movement.
List is working at the till at that point. There is something about the desk being broken up, someone has taken it apart, really a lot of it, like a disassembled space ship almost.
3. Rest your Head
At home of parents in the living room, main sofa, I can't remember how I got there, many things happened earlier, which I really can't remember, light. But then I am there and in need of some rest. Liha is there beside me for some reason, she is on my left, we both sit up straight, we are quite close to each other, and I slowly but surely give in to my exhaustion and lean in on her shoulder, I lean my head on her shoulder.
There is also something about taking note of the time and something with clocks, but I can't remember precisely.
4. Payment Impasse
(Hypnagogic dream)
Shop environment, light, many people, me and Digr at the till. Time to close, actually already half an hour so, but I feel unable to close the doors, or refuse people, but I refuse to tend to them at the till, in that I am strict. More people come in. I still refuse to continue working.
At some point Digr tends to the customers, and I give in, but at that point I had already disassembled my till, taken it apart, and the separate parts lie on the floor behind me. This was also the case with the other till, I am working on the right one, he on the left one. People have piles of books. Some are put together, so that one pile consists of the books of different people. But first I try to get the pieces back into my till, but it does not work, I am missing parts, and have trouble with the money that is there as well, which makes it difficult, because it must remain within reach.
At some point Digr has the idea to scare everyone away, and he takes money out of the till, all notes, and throws it over the counter to people, and they go after it, but not all of them do. I think he is crazy, because we can't recover that money, but he says it is only a little bit. I let him do, he is the boss.
After that I work on the left till, because I have to finish what he started. Then I can't continue with that one composite pile, because someone has not the money ready and something else is also wrong, but I can't remember what. This takes a long time, and we stay in that situation, me and the customers, for a long time, stalemate almost.
After a while only when one of the customers is gone to get money, I start to understand I can do one customer at the time. They are a little angry, but not very. I fear that I can't scan some of the articles when I undo the list in my computer, this is because some people have already gone, and because some books are already wrapped as presents, they lie on my left on the counter. Then I do it anyway, and something starts moving again. That is where it ends. But the impasse lasted really long.
+5. Steiner Kwist
Later dreams.
There is one fragment, possibly in the shop, where this girl is in the shop, with her friends, she is obviously young, and knows be, but I don't recognize her, though I have an idea. When I don't start conversation, she walks about, she tells me who she is and I tell I her I knew, but that she changed her hair, it is not curly anymore, and long, though not on the back, I think. This is Magi.
There is another fragment, when I walk at the crossroads of the Brusselsestraat and the Fonteinstraat, and I am parking my bicycle in the Fonteinstraat, and it is dark, and a tall young man with dark hair and a young boy come walk my way and pass the parking thing for the cycles, and I am well aware that they might steal a bike, for example mine, especially because I don't lock it immediately, but that is because I am not completely ready yet. And they linger at my bicycle, but I am still there, so I make some comment.
Then they pass, and I address the tall man, and he seems to be German or some other country, and I ask his name, he says his name, but I can't remember it, it sounds different, and I ask again, and now he only says his first name, which is Kwist. And he tells me he is about to go to a Steiner something, but not a school. And I fall in step with him and make conversation, and int he end I tell him I know someone whose specialty is Steiner and he is a philosopher. I am talking about Mefa. And he says he is a philosopher too, and that he would like to meet this person, which was my intention. That is where the dream ends. We were crossing the street, Fonteintstraat, though he initially was going to Kapucijnenvoer, and I might have been going to the Zonnekompas.
My dad and Tite are sitting on a table to my left, by the window, wall end, and I sit at another small table, maybe this is a restaurant. My brothers sit at my own table. Light.
Tite is talking about Stco, and discussing him with my dad. She says Stco is about her age, and I know that is what she thinks and it was already on my mind to correct her in this, so I say, he is from the year 78. And she turns her head and is surprised by the information. End of dream as far as I know.
2. Pregnant Colleague
Brva is there, in the shop, she is on the ground floor and comes from the children's section and is about to go down the stairs to go back to her own floor, when I meet her and lay my hand on her belly and feel the baby move, her belly moves, you can really feel it. I wonder how a creature so small can make so much movement.
List is working at the till at that point. There is something about the desk being broken up, someone has taken it apart, really a lot of it, like a disassembled space ship almost.
3. Rest your Head
At home of parents in the living room, main sofa, I can't remember how I got there, many things happened earlier, which I really can't remember, light. But then I am there and in need of some rest. Liha is there beside me for some reason, she is on my left, we both sit up straight, we are quite close to each other, and I slowly but surely give in to my exhaustion and lean in on her shoulder, I lean my head on her shoulder.
There is also something about taking note of the time and something with clocks, but I can't remember precisely.
4. Payment Impasse
(Hypnagogic dream)
Shop environment, light, many people, me and Digr at the till. Time to close, actually already half an hour so, but I feel unable to close the doors, or refuse people, but I refuse to tend to them at the till, in that I am strict. More people come in. I still refuse to continue working.
At some point Digr tends to the customers, and I give in, but at that point I had already disassembled my till, taken it apart, and the separate parts lie on the floor behind me. This was also the case with the other till, I am working on the right one, he on the left one. People have piles of books. Some are put together, so that one pile consists of the books of different people. But first I try to get the pieces back into my till, but it does not work, I am missing parts, and have trouble with the money that is there as well, which makes it difficult, because it must remain within reach.
At some point Digr has the idea to scare everyone away, and he takes money out of the till, all notes, and throws it over the counter to people, and they go after it, but not all of them do. I think he is crazy, because we can't recover that money, but he says it is only a little bit. I let him do, he is the boss.
After that I work on the left till, because I have to finish what he started. Then I can't continue with that one composite pile, because someone has not the money ready and something else is also wrong, but I can't remember what. This takes a long time, and we stay in that situation, me and the customers, for a long time, stalemate almost.
After a while only when one of the customers is gone to get money, I start to understand I can do one customer at the time. They are a little angry, but not very. I fear that I can't scan some of the articles when I undo the list in my computer, this is because some people have already gone, and because some books are already wrapped as presents, they lie on my left on the counter. Then I do it anyway, and something starts moving again. That is where it ends. But the impasse lasted really long.
+5. Steiner Kwist
Later dreams.
There is one fragment, possibly in the shop, where this girl is in the shop, with her friends, she is obviously young, and knows be, but I don't recognize her, though I have an idea. When I don't start conversation, she walks about, she tells me who she is and I tell I her I knew, but that she changed her hair, it is not curly anymore, and long, though not on the back, I think. This is Magi.
There is another fragment, when I walk at the crossroads of the Brusselsestraat and the Fonteinstraat, and I am parking my bicycle in the Fonteinstraat, and it is dark, and a tall young man with dark hair and a young boy come walk my way and pass the parking thing for the cycles, and I am well aware that they might steal a bike, for example mine, especially because I don't lock it immediately, but that is because I am not completely ready yet. And they linger at my bicycle, but I am still there, so I make some comment.
Then they pass, and I address the tall man, and he seems to be German or some other country, and I ask his name, he says his name, but I can't remember it, it sounds different, and I ask again, and now he only says his first name, which is Kwist. And he tells me he is about to go to a Steiner something, but not a school. And I fall in step with him and make conversation, and int he end I tell him I know someone whose specialty is Steiner and he is a philosopher. I am talking about Mefa. And he says he is a philosopher too, and that he would like to meet this person, which was my intention. That is where the dream ends. We were crossing the street, Fonteintstraat, though he initially was going to Kapucijnenvoer, and I might have been going to the Zonnekompas.
Wednesday, 25 December 2013
Earth Chocolate
1. Raclette
Inside, we come together as friends, gather, Jaro is there, and Br and Dadp and other people. All is very peaceful. Long dream, colours are soft, central rooms, living rooms, but I can't remember much now. At some point I want to start eating and make myself a sandwich with molten cheese, raclette. There are different possibilities but I always end with one, the one I first thought of, and this is actually a very simple sandwich.
Something that feels like an intermezzo in the dream. Cheese. Books of something something (can't read notes).
(Some other note I can't read) Maybe gold something something, two of it.
2. Worst Film Ever
We are in a student class room, it is the end of the year, between Christmas and New Year. Me and Bale are there. The room fills. We sit somewhere, these are the uncomfortable chairs fixed on rails like I remember from my student time, this must be in college somewhere. This is a new year's presentation. We are going to see a film. The room is not full but many students are here. The door is in the back to the left, we step behind the rows of chairs and go to the right and sit somewhere in the middle, but more to the back.
Then it becomes clear we are about to see The Broken Circle Breakdown, which I have already seen and don't like. Then I realize all these people have heard this is a good film and want to see it. I wonder what they'll think of it.
I don't want to see the film, nor does Bale, she is on my left. At some point when I talk to her about it I say something like: we should better only listen to the music of the film and not watch, that might actually be more satisfying. This is because the film is known for its music. And I am considering to lie back, my head in my neck and eyes closed, but I know that will not be a comfortable position here, neither will I endure the whole thing. But I do close my eyes that way and try to sleep a bit.
The film starts, it is bad. I recognize it, and what I feared happens. There is first one scene, very short, and then another about something completely different, short, and then another again, this is confusing for people, and the story doesn't catch. So after this beginning of the film I know people will realize what kind of a bad film this is. The dream ends.
But continues in another scene. It is evening or night, we are in the home of a girl, who reminds me of Magi. There is also another girl that arrives who lives here. And maybe the parents too come home.
We go through the private quarters of the house, whereas before we were in the public ones which might have included the cinema. But now we even cross the bedrooms. My brother D comes in later. Maybe Pesl comes in to. Friends of D?
Then Fras is also there, but I can't remember the context. There is some kind of meeting, maybe about programming, IT. And maybe we talk about giving talks and so on. Something about the girls, can't remember what, maybe that they are different.
Maybe the question is: what do you really want. (I can't read my notes here). ... Living room.
Maybe it is at this point that there is a pot of chocolate paste on the table, this is in the living room. Soft lights. Small but high table, girl is there, who might be Fl, Em's daughter. I want the chocolate, but the pot is open, and it looks weird, and the girl and or someone explains, and while they do I know what it is and remember it and remember that this is indeed what I want. It is real chocolate, because it is earth chocolate, and it has also the colour of the earth, yellow, ochre, brown, and the dark browns of chocolate. I want it.
Later at night we go through the city, my dad and I have passed here earlier. Now the streets are deserted and there is a mist, but because of the Christmas days, the buildings are lighted. This gives a strange effect. This time my brother comes along too, D. I am not interested at all, because I've seen all in daylight already. I also know the buildings that are lighted, because I have visited them all. There is a square, one building and another behind that, but to the right of it behind the square is another one and this one you can't see well from the street where we are, because it is tucked behind one of the other buildings, but I know what it is. I would have been content to see only the two buildings close by, and almost had it my way, but then my brother sees the light on the third building and wants to see that too. I am really reluctant to do this. Green and purple lights. I like the square though. In the past I have been in these buildings. The dream ends somewhere at that point. But the scene changes. It is not really clear if all this is one dream cycle.
At some point toward the end I am inside with other people, and there is some moving of furniture going on, seats and tables, sofas, I suppose I have to help.
We also eat something and I focus on this more, though the food is for everyone. And I can't remember what it was specifically, but there was a sauce made of ketchup among other things, possibly cocktail.
The second time we eat this there is too much ketchup, and I am the one holding the cardboard plate, and maybe at that point we are even outside with this, in a corner of walls.
There was something about cars too, which was important, because at some point after waking I thought that would have been all I would be able to remember, but now I don't at all, but I remembered the beginning, which was seeing the film.
At some point there was also the mentioning of Pake giving another two workshops, and the last one would have been early next year, and it would be the last one definitely, and we should all go there because it is our last chance, but I did not feel very motivated to force myself to do this. Why should other people tell me what I need to do.
+3. Hairy Legs
(Hypnagogic dreams)
I had dreams after that, which I remembered, but now I only remember the last one, which was one I got home after a night out, and it was late already and night outside, and the house I entered was indeed a place I have lived in, but now it had already been a long time since it has been occupied by anyone, though someone else might still be living here. I was alone and happy for it. And I watched telly, but could not find the right station, and what I saw on the tv was for children, which is not bad in itself, but the program was the same I watched so many years ago, and now when I switched on the tv it kept playing, continued, as if nothing had happened, as if no time had passed, but I was grown out of it now. I also went to the bathroom, or bathrooms, because there were many, some sort of complex and I remembered that this house was at some point used to take care of people, and the hostess must still be living here.
When I got back and sat on the floor, the tv was to the right, the door in front, and I sat across the door in fact, with my legs stretched before me, and something happened then that I did not like, because my legs were dirty, or hairy, and I wanted to remove all that, and kept doing it away, but more and more dirt and hair come on my legs, and I played with the idea to take a shower or walk through a volume of water, because I knew at that point I was dreaming, so I would have been able to conjure up the image.
Inside, we come together as friends, gather, Jaro is there, and Br and Dadp and other people. All is very peaceful. Long dream, colours are soft, central rooms, living rooms, but I can't remember much now. At some point I want to start eating and make myself a sandwich with molten cheese, raclette. There are different possibilities but I always end with one, the one I first thought of, and this is actually a very simple sandwich.
Something that feels like an intermezzo in the dream. Cheese. Books of something something (can't read notes).
(Some other note I can't read) Maybe gold something something, two of it.
2. Worst Film Ever
We are in a student class room, it is the end of the year, between Christmas and New Year. Me and Bale are there. The room fills. We sit somewhere, these are the uncomfortable chairs fixed on rails like I remember from my student time, this must be in college somewhere. This is a new year's presentation. We are going to see a film. The room is not full but many students are here. The door is in the back to the left, we step behind the rows of chairs and go to the right and sit somewhere in the middle, but more to the back.
Then it becomes clear we are about to see The Broken Circle Breakdown, which I have already seen and don't like. Then I realize all these people have heard this is a good film and want to see it. I wonder what they'll think of it.
I don't want to see the film, nor does Bale, she is on my left. At some point when I talk to her about it I say something like: we should better only listen to the music of the film and not watch, that might actually be more satisfying. This is because the film is known for its music. And I am considering to lie back, my head in my neck and eyes closed, but I know that will not be a comfortable position here, neither will I endure the whole thing. But I do close my eyes that way and try to sleep a bit.
The film starts, it is bad. I recognize it, and what I feared happens. There is first one scene, very short, and then another about something completely different, short, and then another again, this is confusing for people, and the story doesn't catch. So after this beginning of the film I know people will realize what kind of a bad film this is. The dream ends.
But continues in another scene. It is evening or night, we are in the home of a girl, who reminds me of Magi. There is also another girl that arrives who lives here. And maybe the parents too come home.
We go through the private quarters of the house, whereas before we were in the public ones which might have included the cinema. But now we even cross the bedrooms. My brother D comes in later. Maybe Pesl comes in to. Friends of D?
Then Fras is also there, but I can't remember the context. There is some kind of meeting, maybe about programming, IT. And maybe we talk about giving talks and so on. Something about the girls, can't remember what, maybe that they are different.
Maybe the question is: what do you really want. (I can't read my notes here). ... Living room.
Maybe it is at this point that there is a pot of chocolate paste on the table, this is in the living room. Soft lights. Small but high table, girl is there, who might be Fl, Em's daughter. I want the chocolate, but the pot is open, and it looks weird, and the girl and or someone explains, and while they do I know what it is and remember it and remember that this is indeed what I want. It is real chocolate, because it is earth chocolate, and it has also the colour of the earth, yellow, ochre, brown, and the dark browns of chocolate. I want it.
Later at night we go through the city, my dad and I have passed here earlier. Now the streets are deserted and there is a mist, but because of the Christmas days, the buildings are lighted. This gives a strange effect. This time my brother comes along too, D. I am not interested at all, because I've seen all in daylight already. I also know the buildings that are lighted, because I have visited them all. There is a square, one building and another behind that, but to the right of it behind the square is another one and this one you can't see well from the street where we are, because it is tucked behind one of the other buildings, but I know what it is. I would have been content to see only the two buildings close by, and almost had it my way, but then my brother sees the light on the third building and wants to see that too. I am really reluctant to do this. Green and purple lights. I like the square though. In the past I have been in these buildings. The dream ends somewhere at that point. But the scene changes. It is not really clear if all this is one dream cycle.
At some point toward the end I am inside with other people, and there is some moving of furniture going on, seats and tables, sofas, I suppose I have to help.
We also eat something and I focus on this more, though the food is for everyone. And I can't remember what it was specifically, but there was a sauce made of ketchup among other things, possibly cocktail.
The second time we eat this there is too much ketchup, and I am the one holding the cardboard plate, and maybe at that point we are even outside with this, in a corner of walls.
There was something about cars too, which was important, because at some point after waking I thought that would have been all I would be able to remember, but now I don't at all, but I remembered the beginning, which was seeing the film.
At some point there was also the mentioning of Pake giving another two workshops, and the last one would have been early next year, and it would be the last one definitely, and we should all go there because it is our last chance, but I did not feel very motivated to force myself to do this. Why should other people tell me what I need to do.
+3. Hairy Legs
(Hypnagogic dreams)
I had dreams after that, which I remembered, but now I only remember the last one, which was one I got home after a night out, and it was late already and night outside, and the house I entered was indeed a place I have lived in, but now it had already been a long time since it has been occupied by anyone, though someone else might still be living here. I was alone and happy for it. And I watched telly, but could not find the right station, and what I saw on the tv was for children, which is not bad in itself, but the program was the same I watched so many years ago, and now when I switched on the tv it kept playing, continued, as if nothing had happened, as if no time had passed, but I was grown out of it now. I also went to the bathroom, or bathrooms, because there were many, some sort of complex and I remembered that this house was at some point used to take care of people, and the hostess must still be living here.
When I got back and sat on the floor, the tv was to the right, the door in front, and I sat across the door in fact, with my legs stretched before me, and something happened then that I did not like, because my legs were dirty, or hairy, and I wanted to remove all that, and kept doing it away, but more and more dirt and hair come on my legs, and I played with the idea to take a shower or walk through a volume of water, because I knew at that point I was dreaming, so I would have been able to conjure up the image.
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